Boyfriend doesn't contact me while away on trip

[OliviaTr]

My boyfriend left to another country to attend his friend's wedding and he's going to stay there for a month. He has been gone for days, and haven't reached out to me. I assumed that he probably can't call or text me so I emailed him and he responded that he got there safe.

 

Now I'm bummed out because he didn't try to even contact me when he got there. We've known each other for years but we just got back together for 3 months now, after a year-long breakup, so I'm unsure of how serious he is with me and if the trip will affect his feelings for me. To be fair, this trip was planned before we got back together but I can't help but to feel like I've been left behind.

 

How can I cope with him being away for so long? I try to keep myself busy with friends and work but my mind always drift back to missing him and how he probably doesn't miss me since he doesn't try to make contact first.

[Gaeta]

How has been your relationship since you got back together?

[GingerVixen]

My boyfriend left to another country to attend his friend's wedding and he's going to stay there for a month. He has been gone for days, and haven't reached out to me. I assumed that he probably can't call or text me so I emailed him and he responded that he got there safe.

 

Now I'm bummed out because he didn't try to even contact me when he got there. We've known each other for years but we just got back together for 3 months now, after a year-long breakup, so I'm unsure of how serious he is with me and if the trip will affect his feelings for me. To be fair, this trip was planned before we got back together but I can't help but to feel like I've been left behind.

 

How can I cope with him being away for so long? I try to keep myself busy with friends and work but my mind always drift back to missing him and how he probably doesn't miss me since he doesn't try to make contact first.

 

If he doesn't feel he needs to keep in touch, DO NOT keep in touch either. He is really being inconsiderate. He should have at least called you first to tell you he had got there safely.

 

The key not to suffer in this kind of situation is -

 

1. if he is really interested in you and if he really cares about you, he will contact you.

 

2. if he is taking your affection for granted, he will not. So just pull back until he acknowledges your worth and contact you.

 

3. Don't have high expectations - this can hurt but well don't expect people to do things you would do. They're not you. Any relationship can potentially hurt you. So be ready. People can always disappoint you.

 

4. Have your own standards - are you a woman who can deal with the fact a man doesn't contact her when he is away?? Or is this a real dealbreaker for you?

 

If you can deal with it - fine, problem solved.

 

If you can't - you can talk to him, assertively, in a calm way, saying that you like it when he contacts you and talks to you. Do it only ONCE. If he doesn't change his attitude and if you're still bothered, dump him and move on.

[d0nnivain]

Did you talk about your expectations before he left? If not, I don't know what to tell you. Outside of one's regular routine, on vacation over the holidays & there for a wedding I doubt what's going on back home, which includes you, is foremost on his mind.

 

 

Try to be casual. See how things are when he gets back.

[OliviaTr]

How has been your relationship since you got back together?

It has been great. Even with our busy schedules, he plans dates and make time to see me without me saying anything. When he cant see me, he'd send surprise gifts to my job or home just to let me know im on his mind.

 

Did you talk about your expectations before he left? If not, I don't know what to tell you. Outside of one's regular routine, on vacation over the holidays & there for a wedding I doubt what's going on back home, which includes you, is foremost on his mind.

 

 

Try to be casual. See how things are when he gets back.

 

We didn't really talk about what we both expected while he's away, but he did say he'll talk to me as soon as he land. Days passed and he still didn't reach out so I emailed him to make sure he got there safe.

 

If he doesn't feel he needs to keep in touch, DO NOT keep in touch either. He is really being inconsiderate. He should have at least called you first to tell you he had got there safely.

 

The key not to suffer in this kind of situation is -

 

1. if he is really interested in you and if he really cares about you, he will contact you.

 

2. if he is taking your affection for granted, he will not. So just pull back until he acknowledges your worth and contact you.

 

3. Don't have high expectations - this can hurt but well don't expect people to do things you would do. They're not you. Any relationship can potentially hurt you. So be ready. People can always disappoint you.

 

4. Have your own standards - are you a woman who can deal with the fact a man doesn't contact her when he is away?? Or is this a real dealbreaker for you?

 

If you can deal with it - fine, problem solved.

 

If you can't - you can talk to him, assertively, in a calm way, saying that you like it when he contacts you and talks to you. Do it only ONCE. If he doesn't change his attitude and if you're still bothered, dump him and move on.

 

You're completely right. I've thought about all of this but just can't help but to be sad anyway. Ever since we got back together, he has been really good to me. It's just this current situation that has triggered my past fears. I know the old him (if he's really changed now) is easily distracted by other girls. I guess that's my biggest fear: that he may meet someone there since he's going to be there for 4 weeks.

[Stephanie91]

My boyfriend left to another country to attend his friend's wedding and he's going to stay there for a month. He has been gone for days, and haven't reached out to me. I assumed that he probably can't call or text me so I emailed him and he responded that he got there safe.

 

Now I'm bummed out because he didn't try to even contact me when he got there. We've known each other for years but we just got back together for 3 months now, after a year-long breakup, so I'm unsure of how serious he is with me and if the trip will affect his feelings for me. To be fair, this trip was planned before we got back together but I can't help but to feel like I've been left behind.

 

How can I cope with him being away for so long? I try to keep myself busy with friends and work but my mind always drift back to missing him and how he probably doesn't miss me since he doesn't try to make contact first.

You can try to contact him yourself, yes, it's leaning in but you can try to do that. Not too much, like I flew off the handle a few days ago and obsessively called my guy which turned him off for a while. And treat this trip as a chance to give him some space and show him you're able to maintain your cool. Contact him once and see where things go from there, if he's got a chill to it-drop it and wait. If he communicates and seems like he's excited to hear from you-keep up with texting, but again, in moderation. Just try to be not too needy and don't annoy him while he's away. He's at a wedding, so there will be many opportunities for him to think about you a a couple, and there will be people who will ask him about his dating life/marital status, that's what happens during weddings...so imagine if you start bombing his phone with texts...he will go nuts. Just contact him once if you really want to then see what happens.