Somedude1234593 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Hello, I've always been somewhat curious as to if you can compliment someone too much or too little. I have been talking with a girl for a few months now, there has been flirting, attraction on both parts, joking, getting to know each other, all of it. We both have complimented each other on different things, etc... but I don't want to get into a streak of doing it too much if it can be bad. For instance, calling her beautiful, or cute, etc... I know a lot of times (not always) women hear this so it is generally good to point out something about her that is attractive rather than just a general statement. I usually try to match 1 for 1, if she compliments me, I will do the same. However, at the same time I feel like it would be good to initiate it as well. I also don't want to do it too little where she thinks I am losing interest or not as interested as she may be. Any females or anyone in general have some input on this or their own perspective? There is also a very good chance I am just thinking about this too hard and am doing fine. Thanks!
Gaeta Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Just be yourself. If you are the type of men that likes sweet names and compliments then do what feels natural to you. You cannot turn off a woman just because you gave her 2 compliments more than she gave you. The only annoying compliments are those that are not sincere. 2
GingerVixen Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 My friend, there is no "perfect number" for anything... You have to go with the flow, see how she responds/reciprocates. If she's a bitch, diva, etc and start to treat you badly because you complimented her, pull back. If she says thank you, it means you can move foward but don't compliment her ALL THE TIME. Try to make genuine compliments, don't suffocate her. The most flattering thing a man could do to a woman is not making her compliments but being genuinely interested in her and caring for her well being . Which means... show her you want to know more about her and her world, her points of view, try talking to her like you would do to your friends, mention things she said before, show her you value her mind, her opinions and her way of being... treat her more than someone who has good looks, show her you like her for what she really is and not only because she is hot. That will make you look different in her eyes, it will show her you are a high value men. Compliments are words and words mean nothing
Sunlight72 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Absolutely yes. The perfect number of compliments is the number you genuinely feel happy to share. If it's the 'wrong' number for her, enough that it effects her decision to date you or not, then you've just saved yourself (and her) a drawn out fizzle.
FadedSign52 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 If she is a really pretty girl the better strategy in my opinion is to keep the number of compliments about her looks to a minimum. She is used to hearing that from guys all the time and it may actually work to your disadvantage if she's looking for something serious. Compliment her on her accomplishments, intellect etc. will work better in my opinion and like Ginger said show you care about her. 2
Author Somedude1234593 Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 Thanks everyone for the input I have been more complimentary of her achievements more than anything but as was mentioned, I do have a great deal of interest in her life, likes, interests, etc... which we talk about quite often. I try to avoid asking too much at once as I don't want things to become a questionnaire but rather be a conversation as it should. I am a little concerned that I am getting too interested rather quickly, which I don't want to burn me in the end. We have both established that we're attracted to one another, have a lot in common, etc... But I am often gauging things off of communication between us which sometimes can take hours or a day for a response. I understand many people are not glued to their phones and I appreciate that. I have been in previous relationships where it felt like I was dating her damn iPhone rather than her. However, I think having dated many women previously who always respond fairly quickly, this is something a little different for me. I never send needy "where are you, why aren't you responding, did I do something wrong" texts because those are A. very needy, B. an attraction killer, and C. just not me. However, it's more of keeping myself internally from worrying or thinking I messed up. Which may be from a lack of self-confidence, or due to past experiences, I am not sure. Some input would be greatly appreciated. A good example of this is that some days we'll talk a lot back and forth, others I may only get a message or two since she is busy, etc... I seem to automatically think that she is losing interest if she is not as talkative one day vs the next. I know that's not the case but for some reason I keep worrying about it. Any advice on how to deal with this/prevent it? Thanks again!
hasaquestion Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Controlled studies have estimated the perfect number of compliments to be your rating from 1 to 10 minus her rating from 1 to 10. Less than zero means you must be a smarmy a**hole that number of times instead. This has only been proven at 32 degrees F and at sea level but if you're bold you can try it on a hot day. Source: peer reviewed scientific literature in the Journal Of Theoretical And Applied Panty Dropping (abbreviation J. Theor. Appl. Pant.)
basil67 Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I'm going to confuse things by saying that I don't like compliments. Instead, I prefer acknowledgement. To me, compliments are fairly meaningless. But acknowledgement of something I've done (whether it be cooking an awesome meal or making an effort to look nice for a date) is very much appreciated. In short, what I'm trying to say is that I think it's best to save them for when they are earned. If you throw away too many compliments, the compliments themselves become worthless
Snakechammah Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Personally, I get very uncomfortable when a guy keeps harping about looks. If they've said once or twice on a date that they think you are beautiful, that's fine, but if they say it the third time onwards, this is when I get mighty antsy. It's almost as if the compliments were insincere and they knock you over and over with it so they will believe it themselves.... or they are too fixated about your physical appearance to focus on your actual conversation. And also, if they keep harping about looks, I'd get super self-conscious, as if I have to "keep up" with this ideal image they have conjured in their mind, so I'll be mindful of everything I do (can't relax, need to wipe my mouth after every bite, yikes!). So guys, please keep it as natural as possible. Just don't go overboard! 1
WaitingForBardot Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Yes, the number is 42..., obviously... ..lol.. 1
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