Daunter Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) I broke up with my long distance relationship girlfriend 2 weeks ago. We were dating for 2 years. I didn't want to, but I was mad because I saw her taking pictures with another guy and making it seem like they were dating on a secret Instagram account. She proclaimed that he was just her "protection" from people that bother her and that she didn't even like him. I last saw my ex girlfriend 3 weeks ago. I spent the night at her house, we had an awesome time and everything was great. I saw no signs of us ending. She said that she was fine with the breakup and wanted to start over anyways. The next day after I slept on it, I immediately wanted her back. I called her and we talked for hours. She said that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but that she "doesn't deserve" a guy like me. She said that she can't be in a relationship right now and that she needs time to work on herself. I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks up until today. I sent her a message saying "I was cleaning my room last night and I found a receipt from our favorite food place. Remember how on our first date you ate more than me? haha" (before you assume this message as weird, she's half my size and it's a joke i know would make her laugh). Just a simple, non-aggressive message on Facebook. Well, she read the message and did not respond. I got upset and checked her Twitter. Sure enough, she wrote "Nope, not ready yet.. bye" as a status update. I've read up about No-Contact but New Years is coming up this week. I know that the guy she saw as "just a friend" will try to kiss her/start a relationship with her on New Years as they've been hanging out a lot. I don't want to just let her go and have her be taken away by him. Is there anything else I can do? If I spontaneously went to go see her in person would I damage our relationship even more? More detail: She lives 3 hours away. I usually went to go see her every 2 weeks. She's 19 and i'm 23. The "friend" is a drug dealing co-worker who lives down the street from her. Edited December 28, 2015 by Daunter
TheArtist Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I may not have a full solution here but if she read your message and didn't respond then definitely don't call by her house. LDRs are hard and I'm afraid this is generally the way they start to taper off, at least in my experience. Take a break for a while, let her come to you, and if she doesn't, then I'm afraid you know the answer.
Author Daunter Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 I may not have a full solution here but if she read your message and didn't respond then definitely don't call by her house. LDRs are hard and I'm afraid this is generally the way they start to taper off, at least in my experience. Take a break for a while, let her come to you, and if she doesn't, then I'm afraid you know the answer. TheArtist......... It's disappointing the way the world works. Seems like just yesterday she was telling me how much she wanted to marry me. I learned a valuable lesson not to put all my eggs in one basket.
spiderowl Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I think your intuition was right and that she is considering other guys- maybe not the one in the picture but she is clearly not settled with you. It's best not to pursue it, if she doesn't respond to your Facebook message. She has also said that she is not in the right place to be in a relationship right now. If she felt you were the right guy, she would not say that. All I can say is that it might not be the right time for her, but who knows what might happen some months along the line. I would get on with your own life and not hold out any hopes for her. Date other women and forget her for now. If she changes her mind later on, then maybe you two would get together again but that would probably not be a good idea.
Author Daunter Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 I think your intuition was right and that she is considering other guys- maybe not the one in the picture but she is clearly not settled with you. It's best not to pursue it, if she doesn't respond to your Facebook message. She has also said that she is not in the right place to be in a relationship right now. If she felt you were the right guy, she would not say that. All I can say is that it might not be the right time for her, but who knows what might happen some months along the line. I would get on with your own life and not hold out any hopes for her. Date other women and forget her for now. If she changes her mind later on, then maybe you two would get together again but that would probably not be a good idea. I know damn well if I saw her in person that I could turn this mess around. When I last saw her I was doing nothing but putting smile after smile on her face. It will bug me forever that I didn't try hard enough to win back my girl.
TheArtist Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I've just been through something very similar and I was also considering going to see her in person to turn it around, but since she wasn't answering my calls I forced myself to see the logic that she probably wouldn't want to talk in person and I would have wasted a lot of money and gained a lot more upset from doing so. Now that I look back I'm glad that I didn't go and see her because we haven't been in contact since. If she can end a loving relationship like that then she isn't someone I want to be with. It's really hard, but let her come to you and it will all work out as it should.
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