TiredOfWaiting Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Been here before, embarrassed to be here again ... the condensed version: I am 3 1/2 years down this road with my MM, his W went to see lawyers in Jan. Proceedings still not finalised. During this time he also told me to go ahead and live my life without him, which I did not do. Last week she asked him if he wants to try, he said no. She claims it was in a moment of weakness. However, he does not want to discuss the future with me, says he is confused, he cannot promise me anything, he does not know what will happen. BUT He also says he loves me more than any other woman in his life, that he always wanted to be with me etc. I am confused as hell. THis is taking WAY longer than I thought it would, and I do not know if I should put my life on hold any longer. I do not trust either of them to see this thing through.
westernxer Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by TiredOfWaiting He also says he loves me more than any other woman in his life, that he always wanted to be with me etc. He also said the same thing to his wife... ever think about that one?
MsMree Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 there's nothing you can do about it. What i mean by that is you cannot control this so you can have the outcome you want - whatever will be, will be. Have you tried just taking a "laid-back" approach to this? (such as not making definitive statements or actions such as, "getting on w/my life") - Just give it a wait and see - have a timeline defined for yourself that if there's no hope for you two in the near future or if things stay as they are, then move on. One last thing. Your MM is going through his own difficulties - any pressure for ANYTHING right now may be too much for him to handle - let's not kid ourselves w/how hard going through a divorce can be - especially in this situation. I wish you well.
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by TiredOfWaiting However, he does not want to discuss the future with me, says he is confused, he cannot promise me anything, he does not know what will happen. BUT He also says he loves me more than any other woman in his life, that he always wanted to be with me etc. I am confused as hell. THis is taking WAY longer than I thought it would, and I do not know if I should put my life on hold any longer. I do not trust either of them to see this thing through. You should not trust him 100%. He has lied to his wife, so he has the potiental to lie to you as well. I agree with Westy, I'm sure he told his wife that too. Not doubting he felt that way about you as well, I'm sure he meant it at the time but I gotta say, him not wanting to discuss the future with you and can't promise you anything is A HUGE RED FLAG!! He is more or less saying that there's a good chance there won't be a "you and him."
fanou22 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 The definition of "Confused" in the dictionnary of MMs - I am considering going back to my wife. - I want to explore other women once I am single.
smile95 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 I am a little scared....are you dating MY MM???? a little scary how similar this sounds!
TiredOfWaiting Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Thanks to all for feedback. MsMree - I do try, and I have been laid back for 2 of the 3 1/2 years. Even dated other men, with his knowledge, and we did not see each other during those times. But I have been on this rollercoaster for so long, and I am not getting any younger (am 34). I want to buy a bigger house, maybe have another child (I am divorced 4 yrs now), and I just feel life's opportunities slipping through my fingers. Yesterday I lost it and basically said "For now I am out of the picture. Make your decisions without me. I will believe it when I see it." But of course, a piece of my heart yearns that he would make some big romantic gesture. I do have my doubts about him, in terms of the way he deals with problems, in that he DOESNT. He runs away from them. And then of course, there are other people that I may lose from my life if I dont wrap this up and make a decision soon, as they are tired of my nonsense and indecision.
MsMree Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 been there - i believe my realtionship has just been one big romantic gesture after another until i felt i couldn't be without that kind of love. And isn't that the point of those gestures - SO GRAND, SO OVERWHELMING!! By golly this must be love!! (Deep Sigh!!!!!)
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