tito1501 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Me and this girl kissed for the first time two months after she had broken up with a guy. He cheated on her and she then quit the relationship through Skype as they were in different countries. After 3 months together right before summer, I decided to break up with her because I could feel there was something wrong, she had to solve this issue with her ex and overcome these bad feelings. On top of that, she would go back to Portugal and I would stay in Holland after summer. After summer, she flew back to Holland and since then we are living together and it has been an amazing time. However, she told me yesterday that during the time we were apart, she solved her issues with her ex and after three weeks, they met again and had sex. She says it was the worst experience in her life and that she never had something like that before. She didnt know why she did that and she told me she had my person in her mind ALL THE TIME. She feels the worst after that. She keeps on saying that for her in that moment she tried to move on with her life and she was sure that I did not care about her anymore and was sure I was chasing other girls, as I always did in my life. Her conclusion is that after this event, she could be sure I am the one she loves and this was the biggest mistake in her life. My main doubt is, should I overcome this situation and just move on or is she very wrong for having had sex with her exboyfriend when we broke up ? She always cries when we talk about it.
Shining One Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 She was not in a committed relationship when she had sex with her ex, thus she did nothing wrong. 6
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Technicalities included, which is a meager way out, She didn't do anything wrong, but it certainly is a good question to tout, Regardless of her words, her actions were loud and clear, She slept with her ex, and it wasn't out of fear. I'd generally give her a pass given the circumstance, tentatively based on how you feel, However, you broke up with her because of her ex, and how it brought your relationship to its heel, After time apart, it became apparent that your intuition was right, For she went to him again, thighs open, and it begs to question if it was out of spite. I wouldn't be so forgiving, it's pretty clear where her heart lies, The words she says now is just an explanation for her irrational thighs, Her actions spoke loudly, the deafening quake of her morality, You should have far better things to worry about in your inevitable mortality. 2
Author tito1501 Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 I totally understand this. But nowadays she even says she loves me...she was never so sure about her feelings towards me. The guy even added her on fb again and she told me about it and also said she would not accept the request. What I mean is, she could have lied to me. When I asked her about it. However, she told me the very truth, even though she knew the consequences. Technicalities included, which is a meager way out, She didn't do anything wrong, but it certainly is a good question to tout, Regardless of her words, her actions were loud and clear, She slept with her ex, and it wasn't out of fear. I'd generally give her a pass given the circumstance, tentatively based on how you feel, However, you broke up with her because of her ex, and how it brought your relationship to its heel, After time apart, it became apparent that your intuition was right, For she went to him again, thighs open, and it begs to question if it was out of spite. I wouldn't be so forgiving, it's pretty clear where her heart lies, The words she says now is just an explanation for her irrational thighs, Her actions spoke loudly, the deafening quake of her morality, You should have far better things to worry about in your inevitable mortality.
Buddhist Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 My main doubt is, should I overcome this situation and just move on or is she very wrong for having had sex with her exboyfriend when we broke up ? You were broken up, so you don't get a say in what she does in that time period. If the fact she didn't spend her time away from you endlessly saving herself for you is a deal breaker then I wonder if you will ever have any relationships that satisfy your rather peculiar needs.
Buddhist Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 However, you broke up with her because of her ex, and how it brought your relationship to its heel, After time apart, it became apparent that your intuition was right, For she went to him again, thighs open, and it begs to question if it was out of spite. I wouldn't be so forgiving, it's pretty clear where her heart lies, The words she says now is just an explanation for her irrational thighs, Her actions spoke loudly, the deafening quake of her morality, You should have far better things to worry about in your inevitable mortality. He broke up with her and yet she is somehow expected to stop living her life in favour of him? Give me a break. His actions said loud and clear he didn't want her. What she does after that is none of his business. Who cares if she went back to an ex, like that has never happened with a guy before? So she went and resolved her conflicted feelings and now the OP should judge her for doing so. This has got to be the most twisted logic I have ever seen anywhere.
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 She did it. It gave her clarity. She now knows what she wants: you. If that isn't enough for you & you can't get past it, just end the relationship
GingerVixen Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Me and this girl kissed for the first time two months after she had broken up with a guy. He cheated on her and she then quit the relationship through Skype as they were in different countries. After 3 months together right before summer, I decided to break up with her because I could feel there was something wrong, she had to solve this issue with her ex and overcome these bad feelings. On top of that, she would go back to Portugal and I would stay in Holland after summer. After summer, she flew back to Holland and since then we are living together and it has been an amazing time. However, she told me yesterday that during the time we were apart, she solved her issues with her ex and after three weeks, they met again and had sex. She says it was the worst experience in her life and that she never had something like that before. She didnt know why she did that and she told me she had my person in her mind ALL THE TIME. She feels the worst after that. She keeps on saying that for her in that moment she tried to move on with her life and she was sure that I did not care about her anymore and was sure I was chasing other girls, as I always did in my life. Her conclusion is that after this event, she could be sure I am the one she loves and this was the biggest mistake in her life. My main doubt is, should I overcome this situation and just move on or is she very wrong for having had sex with her exboyfriend when we broke up ? She always cries when we talk about it. You had broken up with her. SHE DIDN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. Moreover, she didn't even have to tell you this. I wouldn't have told anything if I were her. She did that because she loves you and she feels guilty. You should overcome this because you were not together at the time. Don't be immature. 1
mortensorchid Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Well if you two were broken up during that period, technically she did nothing wrong so you can be ok with it. I think I would be wary about what she may or may not be doing in the future and looking for other "technicalities", if you know what I mean. This obviously bothers you, as it would me if my bf and I broke up then got back together.
lolablue17 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 If you care about the future, it looks like she actually needed to have sex with him as the last brick in the wall. If she didn't she could have been not so sure today that she wants you, not him. So in that matter, it's good that she did it, it belongs to the past and you have a great present and future, also because of what happened. Also she didn't cheat. The only problem is if you can overcome that. If you find power to drop it and forget about it, it would be the best for you.
road Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Man 1 tells his woman we are done. Then man 2 gets done by his ex-woman. Then the man 1 wants his ex-woman back. They're back together. Then man 1 finds out man 2 did his woman during the break. Man 1 does not like that. Well man 1 is not the first man to make this bad decision. Sadly man 1 will not be the last to do so. I feel man 1's pain. However nothing in this story can be done. OP, if you can not swallow this then let this woman go.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 My response is based from the excerpt about the ex-guy and those issues, You had to let her go once because of this issues with this dude, Now that you're back together, she lets you know about the sex, Which obviously is bothersome because, surprise!, it included the ex! Is it his business after he let her go? No, it's really not. Is it his right to judge her action? Yes, that's why they originally fought. As stated before, I'd generally give her pass if you liked her because of this, However, tell me what's different from now, other than she got to bang him and get one last kiss?
Heracles Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 The rationale: "She did nothing wrong", "It doesn't count/matter" never fails to make laugh She says it was the worst experience in her life and that she never had something like that before. If she had told you that it was the best sex she ever had and that he turned her on more than you ever did. Would you still want to be with her? How much incentive does she has to tell the truth? She is telling you exactly what you want to hear and I bet you will believe her because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. "Oh my god she loves you so much! right?":bunny: She didnt know why she did that and she told me she had my person in her mind ALL THE TIME. Oh yeah? So, She had you on her mind while the other guy was POUNDING her? That's so sweet! She feels the worst after that. How much time did it take for her to talk to you about it? Her conclusion is that after this event, she could be sure I am the one she loves There is nothing better than a good hard pounding by her EX to remind her of how much she loves you. [...]this was the biggest mistake in her life [...]She always cries when we talk about it Do you believe it? What does your gut tells you? Seriously though. I am loss of words. Men make use of their rational mind in pretty much all aspects of their life EXCEPT relationships with women 2
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I ****ed up my rhyme above and you posted too fast for me to correct it. Damn it.
Amalyn Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I'm a woman, but I'm not so sure I would forgive a guy who ran back to his ex, had sex with her and then came running back to me saying he thought about me the entire time. lol 2
MoreAmore Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 If she had broken up with you, I wouldn't forgive her. However, you broke up with her. I would move past it. She was sad and desperate and made a mistake. And she was single. By your doing. And clearly honest to even tell you about it.
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