blue16 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 I mentioned a couple questions regarding clubbing a few months ago when it was my first time, but I have a couple points I wanna bring up after having been 2 times. First couple times I went clubbing it was a fairly small place, with not too many people on the dance floor. It made it pretty hard to dance with other girls besides my friends because there were like little groups together. This club i'm going to on Friday is one of those popular ones, so theres sure to be lots of people there and will have a different atmosphere then the previous 2 times. Anyways, I just wanna have a good time...I don't expect to pick up any girls I just wanna dance a little bit and have a fun night. Basically my main question is what is the best way to get a dance with a girl? Like if I just walk up to a girl and ask her to dance would be the best way? I definitely won't do the 'sneak up behind a girl and start humping her', because that's kinda disrespectful and puts the girl in an odd situation as she can't even see who is behind her. But maybe if I just ask casually if she wants to dance and go from there? Thx all.
sarah12 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Basically my main question is what is the best way to get a dance with a girl? I like it when the guy asks first. Go up to her and ask her if she'd like to dance and then ask for her name . Play it cool and don't get too up close and personal unless she wants it (there will be signs if she wants to grind with you). Keep your distance and don't stare at her body like a perv. Make light conversation and just aim to have a good time, smile, make her laugh, etc. The key is to just have fun!!
Author blue16 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by sarah12 I like it when the guy asks first. Go up to her and ask her if she'd like to dance and then ask for her name . Play it cool and don't get too up close and personal unless she wants it (there will be signs if she wants to grind with you). Keep your distance and don't stare at her body like a perv. Make light conversation and just aim to have a good time, smile, make her laugh, etc. The key is to just have fun!! cool thank you for your reply. I really like how you emphasis the fact to just have fun, I think if you have a lighthearted atittude then it can't go wrong. So I guess the only way I know if a girl wants to grind with me is if.....well......she grinds up against me? lol
sarah12 Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Yeah, it's definitely a good idea to have a lighthearted attitude and not have any expectations. Girls can smell the desperate ones a mile away, so keep your distance, smile, and enjoy the music. I love it when a guy can dance and just let themselves go without worrying whether or not they 'look cool'. There's nothing worse than a bunch of guys standing on the side just staring at all the girls dancing, they look so bored, I feel bad for them, and 80% of the guys at clubs do this. So I guess the only way I know if a girl wants to grind with me is if.....well......she grinds up against me? lol You'll know if a girl wants to grind with you. Take it slow and see where it goes. Some girls are really aggressive and will want to, others won't. You'll learn over time. Have a great time and report back here!
Author blue16 Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 ah damn some stuff came up and we didn't end up going to the club...but I'm goin next week sometime with some other girls. So as of now nothing to report, but thx for your advice sarah i'll let you know how it goes next time I hit the club. Later.
Author blue16 Posted July 4, 2005 Author Posted July 4, 2005 Alright so after many weeks of things popping up, people being busy and what not I finally went to the club with a couple buddies of mine. I don't know if it was something I was doing wrong, if the music wasn't the right style (this one had a lot of underground hip-hop, dance, and house), or the girls had their shields on to the fullest but I didn't get a single dance with a girl. I did what you suggested, just went up to a girl I thought was cute and asked her casually "hey you wanna dance?" and everytime they said like "Oh I'm just dancing with friends, thx anyways though." kinda thing. They weren't lying cuz they were dancing with friends, but at the same time it was obvious their shields were up. I just wanted to dance with some girls and have a good time...I wasn't really looking to pick up girls and take them home or anything. From my impression, the only guys who were dancing with girls were either as friends...or the guy just does the 'freak from behind' deal without asking the girl. I could of tried that I guess, but I wanted to maintain my integrity and not rely on shady moves just to dance with a girl. Anyone have any ideas? Try a different club where everyone is a little more friendly? Bring some girls along and just dance with friends?
sarah12 Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 everytime they said like "Oh I'm just dancing with friends, thx anyways though." kinda thing. Hey you're pretty lucky you got that! And a thx too! From what I hear, that doesn't happen often. Usually they just walk away or scoff and roll their eyes. Anyways, girls really do just want to dance with their friends most of the time. At least you are hitting up some decent places with the girls are courteous enough to give you a straight up answer. Be thankful for that. To be honest, just like the guys, you'll find two types of girls at the club. First of all, you have the ones that are willing to get their freak on with just about anybody and think that they're strippers/go go dancers. These girls are usually the younger crowd (19-20) who want some attention. I'm not saying they're all like that but that's my general experience. Then you have the older ones who have been clubbing for a few years and they really are just out to have a good time. Maybe they won't necessarily want to dance with you b/c they're afraid it'll lead to something more. They may strike up the occasional conversation, but you've got to be different with your approach to get them to talk. Try something smiling at a girl first and catching her attention (if she diverts her eyes and doesnt smile, then forget her, move on to the next). If she catches your eye then be sure to eye her a few more times without being over the top (i.e. stalkerish). When you're sure she's caught on (she may look down or away but with a smile on her face) then you can start to approach her and ask her what's her name or mention that you like the way she dances. Try that and see how it goes. Bringing some girlfriends along could help too. Occasionally I've gone up to random club girls and mentioned that my friend thinks they're cute. It worked once or twice.
sanne Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 well, as a guy, I must say that walking up to a girl and asking her to dance is probably the last thing I would ever do. First of all, the music is way too damn loud for any conversation to occur, and to be honest it just seems ackward when your at a club. what I find works best is to start dancing kinda close to a girl, and if she starts to come closer, then move in for the kill. i agree that coming up from behind a girl and freaking her isn't the best idea. what i've found is that most girls in a group are unapproachable unless you have a group of guys with you to dance with all of the girls. i think the most important thing is to get really drunk honestly.
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