hippychick3 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 But what about his ego? First of all, we don't even know IF she's putting on weight. This is not a discussion about OP's perceived lifestyle—we know NOTHING about her eating and exercise habits, the condition of her heart, cholesterol, blood pressure, anything. This is about her BF sounding like a big bully and his continued insistence on saying inappropriate things and treating her badly. I don't see how his accumulated behavior is helping to foster a mutually-beneficial relationship for the both of them. Click through to OP's profile and go have a read. I totally agree that she needn't follow the advice to down a pint of ice cream, but I think that was a figure of speech more than anything else. There are places on this forum if you want a platform about women's health choices and how they impact their relationships. This particular thread is not the place for it, however. The eating a pint of ice cream was completely facetious...She should not allow her boyfriend to control her eating habits.
spiderowl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I do admit comments made me mad for a while. I have been training for many years, trained a lot of people and encountered ignorance of people who damage their health on purpose. Culture that defends such behavior makes me feel uneasy and that I don't want to be part of it. Guy said perfectly reasonable and polite sentence "you need to slow down on the eating because you know how I feel about big girls.". What else to be said? As any young male what he things about getting fat. You might as well be single until mid 30s, because that is the age when males stop caring for female's look... She is healthy 16 y.o. girl. Whatever she does now reflects in the rest of her life. The question is her mentality now - both health related "am I going to be responsible towards my health" and relationship related "am I going to be insecure person or am I going to face reality and judge what is good and bad for both of us, not just my ego?". Ok, I feel uneasy again. It is time to stop this conversation now. It's hard to know where to start with this. Comments like her boyfriend made are designed to make her feel insecure. He's the one who should feel insecure as he's a jerk! We haven't even had chance to consider what stunningly wonderful qualities this guy could possibly have that would give him the right to criticise her. This is not about weight, this is about control. The guy is trying to undermine her self-esteem. If you think that a young woman should be constantly monitoring her weight because some guys are totally superficial and will judge them on it, then you do not know what matters in life. Yes, there are superficial guys and they should be avoided like the plague. They have little to offer any genuine woman. 1
losangelena Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 The eating a pint of ice cream was completely facetious...She should not allow her boyfriend to control her eating habits. Which is exactly how I interpreted it. It's ridiculous that anyone would take that seriously. 2
katiegrl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 But what about his ego? First of all, we don't even know IF she's putting on weight. This is not a discussion about OP's perceived lifestyle—we know NOTHING about her eating and exercise habits, the condition of her heart, cholesterol, blood pressure, anything. This is about her BF sounding like a big bully and his continued insistence on saying inappropriate things and treating her badly. I don't see how his accumulated behavior is helping to foster a mutually-beneficial relationship for the both of them. Click through to OP's profile and go have a read. I totally agree that she needn't follow the advice to down a pint of ice cream, but I think that was a figure of speech more than anything else. There are places on this forum if you want a platform about women's health choices and how they impact their relationships. This particular thread is not the place for it, however. Agree and I really take offense to his comment "We need to stop the conversation now." Who the hell is he anyway....and why pray tell, should we stop a perfectly respectful conversation because it makes HIM uncomfortable? Entitled much? Grow up, if you don't like what we have to say, YOU leave the conversation, you don't demand everyone else stop the conversation. Jesus!
zef Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 On your point a): since when ? I probably missed that lesson in high school I think my primary attributes as a relationship partner are dependability and reliability; on top I had spent 12+ years obtaining various degrees and I'm a professional. Beauty (btw I do think I have it ) is soooo much down on the list of human (female) attributes Agreed for b): BMI should be <25 unless she's a bodybuilder with excess of muscle mass C) is true and I think it should be! We're going for perfection! D) is hilarious her bmi is below 25 even if she's just 5 feet. but if you look at her other threads this boyfriend is bad news.
Vilgefoz Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 OK ... while you make some good points in your post, it's important to keep things in context. This is a 16-year-old girl with a 115-pound body. You're sitting here talking about body shapes and composition? She is not even an adult yet, her body is still developing. Never mind that, based on other threads she's written, it sounds like her teenaged boyfriend is an immature bully who routinely says hurtful and inappropriate things to her. At this moment, that is a bigger issue that OP's weight, if she's even gaining weight. I am personal trainer. And I believe when it comes to health (uh... except alcohol... ) I am responsible adult. This is the exact time when she needs to be as much strict as possible. From health perspective. developing bad habits will reflect in her entire life. Such as: sensitivity to fat gain, insulin level, taste of sweet, muscle, bone strength and composition, overall neural-motor system, mental capabilities. Telling her her health does not matter to the slightest details now is a mistake. The very opposite is true. What I would give to be at her age again and not doing mistakes I did.
hippychick3 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I am personal trainer. And I believe when it comes to health (uh... except alcohol... ) I am responsible adult. This is the exact time when she needs to be as much strict as possible. From health perspective. developing bad habits will reflect in her entire life. Such as: sensitivity to fat gain, insulin level, taste of sweet, muscle, bone strength and composition, overall neural-motor system, mental capabilities. Telling her her health does not matter to the slightest details now is a mistake. The very opposite is true. What I would give to be at her age again and not doing mistakes I did. This thread has nothing to do with health. Your personal trainer advice is not the least bit helpful here and can actually cause more harm than good to an impressionable 16 year old girl. 3
losangelena Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I am personal trainer. And I believe when it comes to health (uh... except alcohol... ) I am responsible adult. This is the exact time when she needs to be as much strict as possible. From health perspective. developing bad habits will reflect in her entire life. Such as: sensitivity to fat gain, insulin level, taste of sweet, muscle, bone strength and composition, overall neural-motor system, mental capabilities. Telling her her health does not matter to the slightest details now is a mistake. The very opposite is true. What I would give to be at her age again and not doing mistakes I did. I used to weigh 150 pounds heavier than I do now. You don't need to lecture me about these things. You don't sound like you're hearing what we're saying. Your posts are OFF TOPIC for this thread. We're not saying her health doesn't matter. Her OVERALL health matters, which is why she needs to dump the boy who tells her: "i peeped that you been gaining weight I didn't want to say anything but I know you were going to get mad...you need to slow down on the eating because you know how I feel about big girls." Why she needs to dump the boy who said: "If you loved me you would give me a blow job." At this very moment, her BF is a BIGGER detriment to her health than her 115-pound frame. Start your own thread in the "health" section if you'd like to continue your train of thought. 2
MidwestUSA Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I am personal trainer. And I believe when it comes to health (uh... except alcohol... ) I am responsible adult. This is the exact time when she needs to be as much strict as possible. From health perspective. developing bad habits will reflect in her entire life. Such as: sensitivity to fat gain, insulin level, taste of sweet, muscle, bone strength and composition, overall neural-motor system, mental capabilities. Telling her her health does not matter to the slightest details now is a mistake. The very opposite is true. What I would give to be at her age again and not doing mistakes I did. No one has said her health doesn't matter. I think you are taking things too literally. The ice cream was a joke. We can't very well tell her to have a glass of wine, can we? And, as a nurse, I'll say if she's 115 pounds, she doing a helluva lot more things right than many kids her age. Brain development is still in progress, that I'll agree on, but there's no need for even a cholesterol check until we're 30 (over here), unless there is some outstanding issue or hereditary concern. She needs to attend school, make good grades, play sports. What kids do. 2
zef Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I am personal trainer. And I believe when it comes to health (uh... except alcohol... ) I am responsible adult. This is the exact time when she needs to be as much strict as possible. From health perspective. developing bad habits will reflect in her entire life. Such as: sensitivity to fat gain, insulin level, taste of sweet, muscle, bone strength and composition, overall neural-motor system, mental capabilities. Telling her her health does not matter to the slightest details now is a mistake. The very opposite is true. What I would give to be at her age again and not doing mistakes I did. shes a minor and at 115 pounds theres no issue. strange how you excuse your own lack of control of alcohol. 2
No_Go Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Here you're on the point - it is MUCH easier to create and keep healthy habits when you are still young. At 16 she's sexually developed and reached maximum height, so I assume the rules for adults apply. But still, why you insist one of the main female assets is their beauty ? I find this such a disturbing statement that I have difficulties to evaluate the rest seriously. I am personal trainer. And I believe when it comes to health (uh... except alcohol... ) I am responsible adult. This is the exact time when she needs to be as much strict as possible. From health perspective. developing bad habits will reflect in her entire life. Such as: sensitivity to fat gain, insulin level, taste of sweet, muscle, bone strength and composition, overall neural-motor system, mental capabilities. Telling her her health does not matter to the slightest details now is a mistake. The very opposite is true. What I would give to be at her age again and not doing mistakes I did.
No_Go Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Btw to the initial post their is nothing wrong or insulting in the statement by the bf that she's gaining weight. That's pure observation, the same as: "you're wearing blue dresses", "you have started using red lipstick". The "insult" comes from distorted perception of females that the beauty is their "main asset". I'm sure the BF told his male buddy you're gaining weight there won't be a tread... the guy will either agree or disagree and there it ends.
Marieclaire15 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I've always come across the opposite guys like big butts and the like. I'M skinny with big boobs doesn't cut it always been told I'm too skinny need more meat on my bones. Just tell if he doesn't like it there's several in line that do.
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