Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Just made final decision to stop the relationship with someone I still care about. We clicked fine, never had an argument, but she was hard to get out of the house after a while. Talked to her many times about her distance and inactivity. Gave her second chance, but nothing changed. She has problems that are factors, but enough was enough. She wants to still be a friend & I want to help her through her situation. But getting over her is tearing me apart.
SuperGeek Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 My advice, give it a rest for awhile and have no contact with her. This isn't forever, but give it a good 90 days. That time will let you process the relationship you just had with her objectively without her bias being interjected through a 'friendship'. Friends right away just isn't a good idea. Good on you for ending it early before it got too serious. A lot of guys don't have the strength to do that.
ExtraSpice Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I am sort of in a similar situation. I broke up with a girl, mostly over personal issues. There were some factors in the relationship that probably contributed to that decision also. Later I realized I could have solved those issues while still being in a relationship with her but it was too late by that time. She wasn't sure if she wanted to get back together in the near future but wanted to remain friends at the least. So not exactly the same situation but I understand the feeling. I tried being friends for a little while but it just made me feel terrible. It is as though something would be triggered every time she would message me. It seemed like I was just pretending to be friends. All I know is that it was obvious I can't be her friend and move past my feelings for her at the same time. So I told her that if she feels that giving it a second chance is not worth it then we need some separation to get over each other. As *SuperGeek* mentioned friends right away just isn't a good idea. I think the best thing for both of you is probably to cut contact with each other. Maybe in the future you can be friends but right now is probably not possible. In my case I gave her some time to think about whether she wants to give the relationship a second chance. During this time we are not in contact and if the answer comes back as a no then the best way moving forward would def be no contact. It doesn't make the breakup any easier even though you can rationalize the reasons for it. You would probably just have to go through the phases of a break up and eventually heal but that process would be a lot faster and less painful if you weren't in contact with her. Best of luck!
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