The guy ignores me for 3 days

[Zippy2000]

Hmmm, no answer. I think I ll try again.

[Zippy2000]

Hellooooooooo! LOL

[Zippy2000]

Well, as you can see I replied 5 times and to phone some one 8 times is way to crazy.

 

Calm down and let him come to you.

 

Three days isnt a lifetime. Id worry if it was a week or a fortnight but 3 days! Come on!

[ScienceGal]

I think the overall issue here is you flying off the handle and obsessively and excessively calling and messaging him. Why would you act that way? You must already feel insecure with yourself, the relationship, or both. What's going on? What are the "issues" you alluded to?

[Stephanie91]

Whoa! Calling 8 times in a space of 3 days. I d retreat into my man cave.

I agree, I should've left him alone I don't even know what happened to me...but he remains quiet now and I am not sure for how much longer. He has never ignored my calls, he also has never gone more than 3 days without contacting me...is there a chance he could still be back? Could this be just a petty excuse to break up with me?

[Stephanie91]

I think the overall issue here is you flying off the handle and obsessively and excessively calling and messaging him. Why would you act that way? You must already feel insecure with yourself, the relationship, or both. What's going on? What are the "issues" you alluded to?

Just a very strong chemistry...

[Stephanie91]

Well, as you can see I replied 5 times and to phone some one 8 times is way to crazy.

 

Calm down and let him come to you.

 

Three days isnt a lifetime. Id worry if it was a week or a fortnight but 3 days! Come on!

So basically my reaction is the reason he's backing off right now...maybe he was upset with me for not picking up the phone, but now he's freaking out by my compulsive calling/texting...I will just take a chill pill and see what happens...

[ScienceGal]

Maybe answer the last questions I asked.

[Amalyn]

I feel like there has to be a lot more to this situation than OP is leading on. Sure she acted completely ridiculous with her excessive calling and texting and has probably pushed him away to some extreme. But I really feel like there's something missing to this story.

[Stephanie91]

Maybe answer the last questions I asked.

Well, issues like age gap ( he's 35 and I am 23), he was whining about it for a while then stopped, then there's his jealousy, his insecurities...but I like him so much, ever since we met, he mentioned many times that he is incredibly drawn to me and that he loves spending time with me. We're not talking marriage or anything, and I am not ready for that either as I want to grad school first. I just go with the flow for now and want to build a strong relationship, but this situation just kills me. I've never been so crazy over a guy,we have a great chemistry and we have hours long conversations, always share our problems and concerns, he's always communicated and his silence now is very strange and out of character. There was a time when he was going through some family stuff, and had problems at work and was really stressed, but even then he wouldn't ignore my calls/texts. This is the first time he's rejecting me like this and I don't seem to find any distractions...just crying all the time like a baby.

[Stephanie91]

So he finally texted with some BS excuse which makes it worse than his silence...just shows how much of a manipulative ****ing liar he is...his explanation of ignoring me for 2.5 days was because he called me again and again and then got himself busy and didn't "notice" my texts and calls...wow...i hoped he would be a little more honest and apologized for being a douche, but no, he's just lying to me...i haven't replied yet and I don't even know what to say...

[Zippy2000]

So he finally texted with some BS excuse which makes it worse than his silence...just shows how much of a manipulative ****ing liar he is...his explanation of ignoring me for 2.5 days

 

I say again! Its ONLY 3 days. Theres no contract drawn up in any relationship to say you have to speak every day. Some couples just get on fine talking every other day.

 

You sound angry at him in your post. I dont think you`re right for each other the way you openly talk to strangers on the net about him.

 

Shame on you.

[Stephanie91]

Shame on me? I haven't done anything though. I'm just stupid enough to be in love with a liar like him. Why couldn't he just be a man tell me the truth? How could you completely out of touch for 3 days? Just tell me you didn't feel like talking to me or come up with a better excuse...his lies are like an insult to my intelligence...like i'm stupid enough to believe that horse crap

[katiegrl]

Shame on me? I haven't done anything though. I'm just stupid enough to be in love with a liar like him. Why couldn't he just be a man tell me the truth? How could you completely out of touch for 3 days? Just tell me you didn't feel like talking to me or come up with a better excuse...his lies are like an insult to my intelligence...like i'm stupid enough to believe that horse crap

 

Girl...I hear ya...lying is a dealbreaker for me.

 

I told my bf (now ex)...very early on, do not ever lie to me.

 

You need space, tell me.

 

I piss you off, tell me.

 

You want to go to a strip club with friends, tell me!

 

Well, after six years, he lied to me .....and I broke up with him. It was other things too, but the lying part, unforgivable. For me.

 

Lying = dealbreaker!

 

All he (your bf) had to say was be needed a couple days space.

 

What you gonna do?

[Qboro90]

You said you and this guy have been dating for 6-7 months correct? It doesn't sound like the relationship is defined at all. Is he your boyfriend? Are you his gf? Or are you just seeing each other? It's strange that you are ok with him not contacting you in the past for no greater than 3 days. That shows that you're not heavily dependent on this guy and don't need constant contact, yet your behavior with this recent issue is saying the opposite. That you need to hear from him and want to know what he's been doing. Which I think is reasonable if you are exclusive with him.

 

Do you want to talk him him daily? Do you usually reach out and let him know what you're doing over the week/weekend when you're not together? If you don't divulge that info then he may be giving you a taste of your own medicine and you don't like it. Did you tell him that you were going out to a club/bar on Friday night?

 

As a guy... If I hadn't spoken to my gf. And then tried calling her, and couldn't hear her bc of loud music, and she didn't call me back immediately or text me to let me know "hey, I'm out at___, can barely hear you. I'm gonna step outside and call you back. Gimme 5" then I would be sketched out. Plus playing phone tag probably made him feel like you were doing it deliberately so it's just him being spiteful by not calling back or talking to you because he might've been more pissed off then you were.

 

Or he might be a shady guy doing shady things. You should know his character better than anyone here to figure that out. Seems odd that you wouldn't discuss with each other where you'd be over the weekend if you've been together for 7 months.

[Leigh 87]

If a guy is really into you, after 7 months (how long you claim to have been dating your bf) after SEVEN months he should be crazy in love with you by this time frame. A few too many calls wouldn't deter a guy who was in love with you; sure, he would be put off and alarmed if he was emotionally healthy and not insane himself, but if he was SMITTEN with you he would not let a one off, isolated " crazy" episode end the relationship. Something tells me there is more to this story than you have let on.

[Leigh 87]

I have asked around and all the men I asked said that they would NOT ignore/break up with a girl who they thought could be " The One", over such a trivial matter.

 

 

They all said it would alarm them (incessant calls) but they all echoed a resounding " NO" to when I asked " would you ignore/break up with a girl you were REALLY into, over 8 missed called in a 3 day period"

 

 

Honestly, a guy who was really falling for you and in love with you would NOT throw in the towel over repeated phone calls....they would ask wtf you were thinking and question your behaviour but they wouldn't just ignore you like this UNLESS there is more to the story that you're letting on.......

 

 

Seriously posters. Picture this: you are dating someone special, it's 6 - 7 months and you're in love. You are all over each other and in the honeymoon phase and you REALLY would love it if things worked and you cannot fathom wanting to quit spending time together UNLESS they did something totally insane.

 

 

Would you honestly ignore a person for DAYS and break it off over a few missed calls from them? If you were HEAD over heels in love, in an otherwise amazing relationship?

 

 

If you would throw away an otherwise great relationship over a few too many missed calls, then you must think true chemistry and true compatibility must grow on trees.......

[Leigh 87]

I say again! Its ONLY 3 days. Theres no contract drawn up in any relationship to say you have to speak every day. Some couples just get on fine talking every other day.

 

You sound angry at him in your post. I dont think you`re right for each other the way you openly talk to strangers on the net about him.

 

Shame on you.

 

 

 

 

Hang on.

 

 

It is not ONLY 3 days to SOME couples.

 

 

Many couples are smitten with each other and have to chat every day.

 

 

For SOME, even going TWO days without contact is too much for them.

 

 

You cannot paint all relationships with the same brush. SOME couples have a fixed pattern of chatting daily. So of course 3 days of no contact would be odd.

 

 

My bf and I didn't text excessively when not together at all. AT ALL. Yet we were on each others mind way too much to just NOT send a small " thinking of you" each others way.........

 

 

Obviously, these two have been in contact regularly, and the pattern of daily contact was broken. The OP had a good reason to be anxious.

 

 

Just because it is ONLY 3 days for YOU, is totally irrelevant to many couples!

[Stephanie91]

I have asked around and all the men I asked said that they would NOT ignore/break up with a girl who they thought could be " The One", over such a trivial matter.

 

 

They all said it would alarm them (incessant calls) but they all echoed a resounding " NO" to when I asked " would you ignore/break up with a girl you were REALLY into, over 8 missed called in a 3 day period"

 

 

Honestly, a guy who was really falling for you and in love with you would NOT throw in the towel over repeated phone calls....they would ask wtf you were thinking and question your behaviour but they wouldn't just ignore you like this UNLESS there is more to the story that you're letting on.......

 

 

Seriously posters. Picture this: you are dating someone special, it's 6 - 7 months and you're in love. You are all over each other and in the honeymoon phase and you REALLY would love it if things worked and you cannot fathom wanting to quit spending time together UNLESS they did something totally insane.

 

 

Would you honestly ignore a person for DAYS and break it off over a few missed calls from them? If you were HEAD over heels in love, in an otherwise amazing relationship?

 

 

If you would throw away an otherwise great relationship over a few too many missed calls, then you must think true chemistry and true compatibility must grow on trees.......

well he doesn't break up with me, he texted and apologized and had some BS excuses for not returning my calls. He is exclusive, he said he's been seeing only me ever since we started going out, yet I have gone out with another guy couple of times but didn't take it any further since I liked this one more...anyways, I just texted him back, because I am a weak ass like that and we'll see where it goes from now on...but i know I should not go crazy and call so many times when he's busy or whatever. Thanks everyone for your time and input I really appreciate that.

[Qboro90]

well he doesn't break up with me, he texted and apologized and had some BS excuses for not returning my calls. He is exclusive, he said he's been seeing only me ever since we started going out, yet I have gone out with another guy couple of times but didn't take it any further since I liked this one more...anyways, I just texted him back, because I am a weak ass like that and we'll see where it goes from now on...but i know I should not go crazy and call so many times when he's busy or whatever. Thanks everyone for your time and input I really appreciate that.

 

Would he be pissed off if he found out you've went out with other guys during the last 7 months of seeing him? Or is he aware that you did that? Have you always liked him this much or did it start being stronger once he started ignoring you? If it's the latter then you should see that it's because of a deeper issue psychologically.

 

The dynamics of your relationship with him still don't seem clear. How often do you see one another? Have you met his friends? Family?

[Stephanie91]

speaking of breakups btw, there was a time when he was whining over our age gap and I was sick of his jealousy, so I tried to break things off. Like twice, over the phone...but then he started crying, not hysterically, but still tears rolling down his cheeks, and he's 30 something so mature enough...he once had a weird convo with me over where the relationship is headed and that he was confused about the future and i said that i hate the "relationship talk" and I truly do...i prefer doing than talking, at least with a guy I like...anyways, after that convo I assumed it was his way of ending things but the next day he called and apologized and said he was only discussing our situation. But this happened in August...

[Stephanie91]

Would he be pissed off if he found out you've went out with other guys during the last 7 months of seeing him? Or is he aware that you did that? Have you always liked him this much or did it start being stronger once he started ignoring you? If it's the latter then you should see that it's because of a deeper issue psychologically.

 

The dynamics of your relationship with him still don't seem clear. How often do you see one another? Have you met his friends? Family?

He doesn't know about me dating someone else for a short period of time, if he did he would probably even more jealous and obnoxious...and I started liking more after sexual intimacy, if you must know, lol. Made him wait for 3 months...

[Qboro90]

He doesn't know about me dating someone else for a short period of time, if he did he would probably even more jealous and obnoxious...and I started liking more after sexual intimacy, if you must know, lol. Made him wait for 3 months...

 

How often are you with one another?

 

Can you see how your posts are contradicting ?

 

One one you'll say how in love and how much you care about this guy and how he's the one. Then in the one above you talk about wanting to break up with him twice already and him being jealous and begging for u to stay. You also didn't like him enough to stay loyal if you went out with other guys during your relationship.

 

You can be mad at him for not calling for a few days, but deep down you should know that you've done far worse than that by going out with other men behind his back. Might wanna pick your battle here

[11012015]

He doesn't know about me dating someone else for a short period of time, if he did he would probably even more jealous and obnoxious..

 

There it is. What we didn't know (and what everyone suspected). So you aren't completely honest with him but calling him a liar?

Edited December 28, 2015 by 11012015

[Stephanie91]

There it is. What we didn't know (and what everyone suspected). So you aren't completely honest with him but calling him a liar?

Wait a sec, people, before you throw all the stones at me, let me explain...I started dating 2 guys at the same time, one of those guys was him. So i dated them both for about 3-4 months or so but never had sex with any of them...during that time I realized I liked this one better so I became exclusive with him. He's told me he hasn't seen anyone cept me either. So I wasn't cheating, plus you're not considered a cheater unless you're committed to someone/engaged...but he is a liar, yes.