The guy ignores me for 3 days

December 27, 2015

So...long story short, my guy has been ignoring me for 3 days. And I have called 8 times and left 4 text messages still no response. Now on Friday he called me on my phone and I was at a loud place and didn't hear it. So I tried to return his call but he never answered. Then an hour later he called again and this time I didn't hear it either ( I was still at the loud place) and since I did not know he was going to call me at that particular moment I put my phone back into my bag. So when I tried to return his second missed call he didn't pick up. So i left another message. Last night I called and messaged with no response from him. Today morning I texted again saying things like his behavior is confusing to me and he's never been so quiet before. We've always communicated about our "issues", but a petty thing like a missed phone call would make him so mad?

I told my friend about this she says he's probably jealous of you because he's older and wants to teach you a lesson by playing mind games or trying to control you. I am not so sure though, is it possible that it's his way of ending things? Will he ever contact me again or is this over? I really like him and would do anything to be with him, but when he doesn't communicate I cannot change anything...Please, people, I need some advice I feel so miserable for the past 3 days or so and can't stop crying :(

December 27, 2015

If he called you on Friday, twice, which calls you did not pick up, how can you say he has been ignoring you for three days?

And for the record, calling eight times plus four text messages is obsessive. He may think you are a bit whacko tbh...

In any event, stop calling, and wait for him to get back to you.

After all your calls and texts, sounds like he needs a bit of space, which I suggest you give him.

December 27, 2015

If he called you on Friday, twice, which calls you did not pick up, how can you say he has been ignoring you for three days?

And for the record, calling eight times plus four text messages is obsessive. He may think you are a bit whacko tbh...

In any event, stop calling, and wait for him to get back to you.

After all your calls and texts, sounds like he needs a bit of space, which I suggest you give him.

I agree, I went a little crazy with follow up calls/texts...but only because I care. I am afraid I won't hear from him ever again

December 27, 2015

So...long story short, my guy has been ignoring me for 3 days. And I have called 8 times and left 4 text messages still no response. Now on Friday he called me on my phone and I was at a loud place and didn't hear it. So I tried to return his call but he never answered. Then an hour later he called again and this time I didn't hear it either ( I was still at the loud place) and since I did not know he was going to call me at that particular moment I put my phone back into my bag. So when I tried to return his second missed call he didn't pick up. So i left another message. Last night I called and messaged with no response from him. Today morning I texted again saying things like his behavior is confusing to me and he's never been so quiet before. We've always communicated about our "issues", but a petty thing like a missed phone call would make him so mad?
I told my friend about this she says he's probably jealous of you because he's older and wants to teach you a lesson by playing mind games or trying to control you. I am not so sure though, is it possible that it's his way of ending things? Will he ever contact me again or is this over? I really like him and would do anything to be with him, but when he doesn't communicate I cannot change anything...Please, people, I need some advice I feel so miserable for the past 3 days or so and can't stop crying :(

Friday. Prime dating night. You are at a loud place (i.e. club/bar). For some reason, he is not there with you. He calls but can't get a hold of you. To him, it appears that you don't prioritize him enough to get out of the club to have a few minutes of chat with him. He calls a few more times. No go. All night, no connection. It appears that you were either hiding something or don't want to be bothered talking to him during that night. Is it over? No. You don't end it with 3 days. He is hurt and older guys just take the time to cool down and maybe hope that you will come up with an explanation of what happened (rather than resume like nothing unusual happened).

P.S. Don't listen to your friend. She doesn't know what she is talking about. Not everything is jealousy and controlling.

December 27, 2015

You should give contacting him a rest. Sounds like he's playing games and those suck and only make for terrible, unhealthy relationships. If he is trying to "teach you a lesson" he's being your father... not your boyfriend. Don't waste tears on someone that would play with your feelings. Best of luck to you.

December 27, 2015

I agree, I went a little crazy with follow up calls/texts...but only because I care. I am afraid I won't hear from him ever again

Okay but please know that your behavior would have the opposite effect -- that being by calling and texting so many times, you are actually pushing him away.

It's suffocating and a huge turn off.

December 27, 2015

You should give contacting him a rest. Sounds like he's playing games and those suck and only make for terrible, unhealthy relationships. If he is trying to "teach you a lesson" he's being your father... not your boyfriend. Don't waste tears on someone that would play with your feelings. Best of luck to you.

I don't sense he is playing games or teaching her a lesson.

What lesson?

He called, she did not pick up, but has since called him eight times and sent four text messages..

He feels suffocated, turned off.

December 27, 2015

I agree, I went a little crazy with follow up calls/texts...but only because I care. I am afraid I won't hear from him ever again

I've been in the same situation ... wait for him to call and if he doesn't don't wait around he's just waiting for you to kiss his butt

December 27, 2015

I don't sense he is playing games or teaching her a lesson.

What lesson?

He called, she did not pick up, but has since called him eight times and sent four text messages..

He feels suffocated, turned off.

Still not getting why OP said he had been ignoring her for three days.

Again, he called twice on Friday, calls which she did not pick up.

How is that him ignoring her for three days?

She should have called him back once, and waited for him to call back.

Not gone off the deep end and obsessively called eight times plus four text messages.

If she had just waited for him to call after her first message, none of this shyt would be happening.

Stephanie, Does he have a history of playing games, being controlling?

December 27, 2015

OP, what kind of "issues" have you two had before? I ask because it seems odd that your friend would assume he's jealous and trying to teach you a lesson without any history of such behaviour. Has he given you the silent treatment before?

Stop contacting him. You say you'd do anything to keep him, which is a tad concerning. You didn't do anything wrong. If this is truly his way of "teaching you a lesson", you do not have a healthy relationship. Step back now. Don't panic. And do not call or text again.

I suspect he will come around but I also think there's a bit of backstory here. What's your relationship like in general, OP?

December 27, 2015

I am just so upset right now, cannot focus on anything, constantly checking my phone and fearing he'll never call. It's just such a petty thing to get mad at, there were times when he would text me back hours later and I never made a scene out of that let alone ignore him intentionally for days. If I leave him alone will he call back?

December 27, 2015

And to Stephanie, what exactly did you say in all these calls and messages?

We're you angry? Accusatory? Emotional? Desperate?

If so, that didn't help.

December 27, 2015

I am just so upset right now, cannot focus on anything, constantly checking my phone and fearing he'll never call. It's just such a petty thing to get mad at, there were times when he would text me back hours later and I never made a scene out of that let alone ignore him intentionally for days. If I leave him alone will he call back?

MAYBE.

But you need to CHILL.

Stash your phone somewhere and go do something else. If the weather is nice, go outside and take a walk. Obsessing over this isn't going to help, and if he is going to call you, worrying about it isn't going to make him call any faster.

December 27, 2015

OP, what kind of "issues" have you two had before? I ask because it seems odd that your friend would assume he's jealous and trying to teach you a lesson without any history of such behaviour. Has he given you the silent treatment before?

Stop contacting him. You say you'd do anything to keep him, which is a tad concerning. You didn't do anything wrong. If this is truly his way of "teaching you a lesson", you do not have a healthy relationship. Step back now. Don't panic. And do not call or text again.

I suspect he will come around but I also think there's a bit of backstory here. What's your relationship like in general, OP?

He's never ignored me like this. We may not text for 2 days but usually he always texts/ calls me the next morning. This is the first time he is intentionally not taking my calls and not answering my texts...that is why I am so shocked. And yes, he is a little jealous but nothing crazy. We had arguments before, I tried to break things off but he cried and I changed my mind, plus I am incredibly attracted to him.

December 27, 2015

I am just so upset right now, cannot focus on anything, constantly checking my phone and fearing he'll never call. It's just such a petty thing to get mad at, there were times when he would text me back hours later and I never made a scene out of that let alone ignore him intentionally for days. If I leave him alone will he call back?

How long have you been dating him?

And you have a better chance of him calling if you leave him alone, rather than if you keep calling.

Try to alleviate your anxiety.

Deep breaths, go for a run, yoga, something.

Do not contact him again, until he contacts you.

December 27, 2015

And to Stephanie, what exactly did you say in all these calls and messages?

We're you angry? Accusatory? Emotional? Desperate?

If so, that didn't help.

the first couple of texts were really friendly things like..Sorry i missed your call, get back to me whenever you get a chance...my last one was a little emotional though, I said that his silence was killing me and that I was confused by hi behavior and sent a crying emoji...i'm such a weak ass...

December 27, 2015

How long have you been dating him?

And you have a better chance of him calling if you leave him alone, rather than if you keep calling.

Try to alleviate your anxiety.

Deep breaths, go for a run, yoga, something.

Do not contact him again, until he contacts you.

Been together for 6-7 months...

December 27, 2015

the first couple of texts were really friendly things like..Sorry i missed your call, get back to me whenever you get a chance...my last one was a little emotional though, I said that his silence was killing me and that I was confused by hi behavior and sent a crying emoji...i'm such a weak ass...

No way will most men come near a woman who's sending out tearful emojis. If he circles back around, he'll wait and do it when you seem a bit more ... relaxed.

Just seriously, put the phone down, stop posting here and go outside.

December 27, 2015

Still not getting why OP said he had been ignoring her for three days.

Again, he called twice on Friday, calls which she did not pick up.

How is that him ignoring her for three days?

She should have called him back once, and waited for him to call back.

Not gone off the deep end and obsessively called eight times plus four text messages.

If she had just waited for him to call after her first message, none of this shyt would be happening.

Stephanie, Does he have a history of playing games, being controlling?

He is ignoring me for 3 days, on Friday when he intentionally did not take my follow up calls, yesterday and today...

December 27, 2015

So...long story short, my guy has been ignoring me for 3 days. And I have called 8 times and left 4 text messages still no response.

-----

**Now on Friday he called me on my phone and I was at a loud place and didn't hear it. So I tried to return his call but he never answered. Then an hour later he called again and this time I didn't hear it either ( I was still at the loud place) and since I did not know he was going to call me at that particular moment I put my phone back into my bag. ****

------

So when I tried to return his second missed call he didn't pick up. So i left another message. Last night I called and messaged with no response from him. Today morning I texted again saying things like his behavior is confusing to me and he's never been so quiet before. We've always communicated about our "issues", but a petty thing like a missed phone call would make him so mad?
I told my friend about this she says he's probably jealous of you because he's older and wants to teach you a lesson by playing mind games or trying to control you. I am not so sure though, is it possible that it's his way of ending things? Will he ever contact me again or is this over? I really like him and would do anything to be with him, but when he doesn't communicate I cannot change anything...Please, people, I need some advice I feel so miserable for the past 3 days or so and can't stop crying :(

For a girl who is so obsessively crazy attracted to her boyfriend, and given your reaction now, I find it odd you would intentionally put your phone in your bag .... assuring you would not hear it when he called back. Why would you do that?

If I called my bf, and was waiting for a call back, I would never put my phone in my bag, for the simple reason, I need to hear it when he called back! Especially since I missed his first call due to not hearing it..

HE may have thought YOU were playing games, and now, not that he is trying to teach you a lesson, he may just be tired/turned off of the cat and mouse game.

Just a thought. Something doesn't sound quite right.

Edited December 27, 2015 by katiegrl

December 27, 2015

For a girl who is so obsessively crazy attracted to her boyfriend, and given your reaction now, I find it odd you would intentionally put your phone in your bag .... assuring you would not hear it when he called back. Why would you do that?

If I called my bf, and was waiting for a call back, I would never put my phone in my bag, for the simple reason, I need to hear it when he called back! Especially since I missed his first call due to not hearing it..

HE may have thought YOU were playing games, and now, not that he is trying to teach you a lesson, he may just be tired/turned off of the cat and mouse game.

Just a thought. Something doesn't sound quite right.

Well I do like him a lot but I am not glued to my phone 24/7 and what's the big deal if I missed a few calls? He called me only an hour later after the first missed call, was I supposed to attach the phone to my chest within that hour? I did not ignore him at least and tried to get a hold of him as soon as I checked my phone...by now he's probably really turned off by my obsessive texting/calling...hope he calls me back though.

Edited December 27, 2015 by Stephanie91

December 27, 2015

Well I do like him a lot but I am not glued to my phone 24/7 and what's the big deal if I missed a few calls? He called me only an hour later after the first missed call, was I supposed to attach the phone to my chest within that hour? I did not ignore him at least and tried to get a hold of him as soon as I checked my phone...by now he's probably really turned off by my obsessive texting/calling...hope he calls me back though.

You say what is the big deal if you missed a few calls and then call a one full day (Saturday morning until Sun morning when you posted) a 3 day no-calling break up.

December 28, 2015

It sounds to me like he is fed up about something (maybe you doing this things all the time). By the way you describe some things it also sounds like you are kind of obsessed with the guy. Maybe you're a clingy gf who knows...

but he is deff fed up about something. Something similar happened to me except I never called or text like crazy. I just waited patiently and he finally contacted me 2 months later to tell me the "real" reason why he was ignoring me, and the reason was not even what I thought he was angry about. Anyways eventually a week later we broke up in good terms. This time I least I knew it was over bc we both talked about it.

His behavior is certainly not healthy and something is deff up. So I'd suggest get yourself psychologically ready to break up with him at some point eventually.

December 28, 2015

Whoa! Calling 8 times in a space of 3 days. I d retreat into my man cave.

December 28, 2015

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The guy ignores me for 3 days

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