Raindrop100 Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Hi if a boyfriend always set double standards for you and himself., such as having a lot of "girlfriends" but restricting your social circle, always late but expect you to be punctual, out of job a few times but expect you to be very capable, never do housechores but expect you to be very good at doing housechores, not very rich but expect to make a lot of money or come from a very rich background, what will you think/do?
Fallen_Angel Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 What would I do? Based on your information, I'd dump him! Barring that, at the very least a serious discussion is in order. To me it sounds as though your boyfriend does not respect you...or worse, wants you to be his mom!
st8toftheheart Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Yeah, have a discussion and if he doesn't agree or doesn't have a valid arguement for his reasoning, and he's not willing to change. Leave.
Author Raindrop100 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Posted June 2, 2005 Yes, I had tried to sort things out with him but he felt pressurised to change and treated me more badly after that. He's the spoilt brat at home and never laid his finger on any housechore. We broke off 7 months ago. I have always been puzzled whether I did the right thing or should I be more tolerant for his shortcomings. I did miss him on and off for the past few months whenever I recollected the sweet memories we had together. Till today I am quite sure that the breakup was really a blessing in disguise as I have just found out that he has just been fired from his job AGAIN and was asked to pack and go immediately from his overseas posting in Indonesia and is leaving his new Indonesian girlfriend very shortly. I thought he should be getting more mature as he's turning 33 this year. Seems like LEOPARD CAN'T CHANGE ITS SPOTS.
st8toftheheart Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by Raindrop100 I thought he should be getting more mature as he's turning 33 this year. Seems like LEOPARD CAN'T CHANGE ITS SPOTS. I'm 36, and I can tell you when you reach this age its very hard to change. Not impossible but difficult. Accepting new things, people, ideas, way of lifes. All become more difficult to accept if we haven't already accepted them. Our reasoning? Well its served me this far, why change? I'm comfortable with it. It usually takes a pretty big event for them to come around. If they care about you enough, you leaving should be something that can inspire that change. If they don't then that's says something as well.
Author Raindrop100 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Posted June 2, 2005 You are right. He didn't love me enough mainly because I don't come from a rich family and I caught him lying many times. He likes girls who can take his words on face value and most importantly RICH..
Treasa Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by Raindrop100 I recollected the sweet memories we had together. What sweet memories? Cleaning his bathroom while he was busy getting fired or chasing girls? Yeah, sounds like a great guy.
laRubiaBonita Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 well he would certainly not last long with me.....i am terminally late!
RecordProducer Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 If a guy loves you and believes in the relationship, he won't give up and let you go. But the fact that a man is running after a woman doesn't necessarily mean he loves her (sex, money, etc. could be the motive too). Men generally chase things they can't have or lose against their own will; it's the hunter in them that wakes up in such situations. When my 6-year old son says he finished his dinner and I ask him "can I have this last bite then?" he says "No!" I say "OK," but then he realizes he doesn't really want it as he is not hungry. So as he got what he wanted, he is not interested in it again. He says: "OK, finish it." But the moment I put it in my mouth he exclaims: "No! Wait! I want it!" Often he eats it. Sometimes I just put it in my mouth and eat it. When I do, he just smiles. He doesn't really care when it's already gone forever. So what I'm saying is that they might run after the woman, but as soon as they realize she is gone forever, they won't really regret it unless they're really in love with her.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by Raindrop100 Hi if a boyfriend always set double standards for you and himself., such as having a lot of "girlfriends" but restricting your social circle, always late but expect you to be punctual, out of job a few times but expect you to be very capable, never do housechores but expect you to be very good at doing housechores, not very rich but expect to make a lot of money or come from a very rich background, what will you think/do? Run. Run away fast!
RecordProducer Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Sorry, I replied in the wrong thread. This post was supposed to be in this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=496810#post496810 and it is now.
Author Raindrop100 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart I'm 36, and I can tell you when you reach this age its very hard to change. Not impossible but difficult. Accepting new things, people, ideas, way of lifes. All become more difficult to accept if we haven't already accepted them. Our reasoning? Well its served me this far, why change? I'm comfortable with it. It usually takes a pretty big event for them to come around. If they care about you enough, you leaving should be something that can inspire that change. If they don't then that's says something as well. Hi st8toftheheart I hope you don't get offended. What I meant was I thought he has changed his work attitude and determined to do well in his new job, so that he won't get fired again and again. Our country is a very small island, words spread around very fast and he might not be able to survive with a poor track record.. I do agree the point that he did not love me enough. He's a very self-centred and chauvinistic person and has not loved anybody enough. He treated his mom (with legs problem) like a maid, I can imagine if I were to marry him, I'd be treated like a maid too.
Author Raindrop100 Posted June 3, 2005 Author Posted June 3, 2005 Hi thanks everyone for all your time and valuable feedback...I think I have learnt quite a fair bit from each of you...
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