eyeam Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I recieved an email from my ex on Christmas Day "Merry Christmas From me and my family Anna" Urrrrgh... Why? It just hurts to see. We spit last November and I didn't receive any Christmas wishes last year? I started another thread about this a while back "ex girlfriend contacting me but has a boyfriend" I'm getting mixed signals from her.. Or not. Should I reply with the same, is it rude not to? or should I just stay hard NC?
justanotherguy1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I recieved an email from my ex on Christmas Day "Merry Christmas From me and my family Anna" Urrrrgh... Why? It just hurts to see. We spit last November and I didn't receive any Christmas wishes last year? I started another thread about this a while back "ex girlfriend contacting me but has a boyfriend" I'm getting mixed signals from her.. Or not. Should I reply with the same, is it rude not to? or should I just stay hard NC? I got the same thing. after she was dropping hints on getting back together, i came out and asked her if she wanted to and she said no. i stopped talking and a few days after got the christmas message. Your ltting this bother you too much. who cares whats her motive, move on with your life and be happy, its not your job to keep people in your life, its there job to make an effort and stay. who leaves leaves. Screw em. 1
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I recieved an email from my ex on Christmas Day "Merry Christmas From me and my family Anna" Urrrrgh... Why? It just hurts to see. We spit last November and I didn't receive any Christmas wishes last year? I started another thread about this a while back "ex girlfriend contacting me but has a boyfriend" I'm getting mixed signals from her.. Or not. Should I reply with the same, is it rude not to? or should I just stay hard NC? This is precisely why you block after breaking up...to avoid receiving texts, feeling bad and/or allowing yourself to get drawn back in emotionally. I have no idea if my ex sent me a Merry Christmas text.. and don't care ....because I blocked him after breaking up with him. You do this for you....so you can move on. 1
Sar112 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Nope, but I wish I had done! Saying that, unless it's something positive, I think hearing from an ex especially so long after a split/without contact, can just mean old feelings resurfacing. I would send a short but civil reply - nothing that warrants a response and then do my best to forget about it. It sounds as though it may have been a blanket text so not too much to overthink about.
Jax13 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I got a Merry Christmas message from my ex almost exactly the same as OP's. After she asked me about christmas and told me about how her and her family were playing games and what not. Was really friendly and kind of reminded me of who she had been when we were together. I also got a Merry Christmas message from her best friends and sister. Then her parents sent me a Facebook message that said "Merry Christmas, we miss you and love you. keep Praying" That one was tough because I know that everyone wants us to get back together, everyone else knows what she'd doing is out of character for her and nobody understands.
Author eyeam Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 breadcrumbs? ... Either way, **** it!! 2
Blanco Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Nope, and I was grateful for it. The last few days have been busy, enjoyable, and memorable. Hearing from her would've compromised that, I have to believe.
sowhynot Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 More of a Christmas Pudding Crumb than a breadcrumb. But a crumb is a crumb is a crumb and best ignored and the means of delivery blocked. Having said that, I haven't done the later and so I've definitely got some closure by not receiving a Christmas Pudding Crumb or a Birthday Cake Crumb a few weeks ago. So I suppose there might be an advantage in not blocking or deleting contact details if you can trust yourself not to use them in the difficult first few weeks after a breakup - and not be hanging on hope that ex. will contact you. 2
Author eyeam Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 When I've been in a relationship - I have never contacted an ex... I don't understand why they do it? . I suspect it's to keep you dangling on a piece string "just in case"? She can't be that happy in her new "perfect" relationship? The fact that she thought of me on Christmas Day, while spending it with her family baffles me? It wasn't a generic email either.. Because she'd posted it from one of her previous emails (not a new email) So it was clearly meant for me.
Author eyeam Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 It's my birthday at the beginning of Feb. I predict her next email will be then.. I just know she is going to try and come crawling back when her current relationship fails. I had an ex last month (from 5 years ago?) mail me.. With sorrys and complements.. Let's meet, I get it now etc etc... I literally haven't spoken to her in 4 years at least. Bananas
losangelena Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I did not get a MC text from my ex, nor did he get one from me. Better that way, I suppose. 3
Chronotrgr Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I got a Merry Christmas, then she blocked me, the whole thing ruined my day, made me feel desperate to see her and speak to her and made me feel insane, even now the pain is taking it's time to die down, I think once this festive period is finally over I can start to recover again, but honestly, that Merry Christmas really did me over, I've never felt pain like it.
Author eyeam Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 I got a Merry Christmas, then she blocked me, the whole thing ruined my day, made me feel desperate to see her and speak to her and made me feel insane, even now the pain is taking it's time to die down, I think once this festive period is finally over I can start to recover again, but honestly, that Merry Christmas really did me over, I've never felt pain like it. Yup. It just pissed me off more than anything else tbh. This woman bores me to tears now. The message was cold and impersonal (knowing her - deliberately so) so, why bother to send one!? Ridiculous. So passive aggressive. Btw. I sent a reply (2 days late): "merry Christmas to you too. Richard"
offroader Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Thats why i cant wait for work to start again, i deal with the public so it will help keep my mind off of things. You need to get together with friends as much as possible, no sitting idle and letting your mind go crazy. I broke up 4 weeks ago from a 7 year relationship, 3 years married, she decided to twxt me late at night and during our chat she told me she had already been on a blind date, that screwed my head over the holidays. Good luck buddy.
SuperGeek Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 yes a few of them did. Usually it's just the online exes who have become online acquaintances after years of non-communication. I just wish them a merry christmas back and don't think much of it. Note, being a guy, this doesn't happen that often, because women tend to move on pretty fast and have a new guy in their life at which point, they have forgotten I ever existed
SuperGeek Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Block that number from texting you. Also temporarily block her from facebook for awhile. Tell her straight up not to communicate with you for awhile. The only reason she told you she is on a date with another man is to make you feel like crap. Learn from this and filter all her communications channels from your life until you no longer care what she thinks. Geek I broke up 4 weeks ago from a 7 year relationship, 3 years married, she decided to twxt me late at night and during our chat she told me she had already been on a blind date, that screwed my head over the holidays.
Author eyeam Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Note, being a guy, this doesn't happen that often, because women tend to move on pretty fast and have a new guy in their life at which point, they have forgotten I ever existed She does have a new guy. Bizarre
ExtraSpice Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I got a Merry Christmas text as well. I replied cordially and we exchanged a few messages and that was the end of it. But without a doubt the text screwed up my whole weekend. It is easier to move on if you aren't thinking about the person but once they message you it is as though your memories get refreshed. As to why an ex would send a merry Christmas text, I don't know. I have an ex and we are acquaintances at the most right now. I would send her a facebook message on her birthday but I wouldn't really message or text them for holidays. So I wonder if you are on their mind and sending a text makes them feel better. Maybe they miss you. Or maybe it is nothing more than just a message. A question that probably is difficult to answer and difficult to get out of your mind too.
Author eyeam Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 That's the question tho isn't... Why? It just goes around and around in your head
ExtraSpice Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 That's the question tho isn't... Why? It just goes around and around in your head That is indeed the question. We can never find out what is in their mind, all we can do is assume. If I think of reasons why I would text my ex a holiday greeting, well a few pop up. The truth is if I were completely over my ex and had moved on, the though of texting her for a holiday would not even occur to me. The only thing I would do is birthdays and that is only because facebook reminds you of peoples birthdays. The only time I can see myself texting my ex regarding holidays is if we ended up being good friends, which rarely happens. So I would think that if I were not over my ex I would text them a holiday greeting in hopes that maybe they think about me. Whether it is your conscious or subconscious making the decision, it is a nice feeling to know that this person out there wants you. Also when someone moves on you lose that control you had over them. One text from you is no longer going to get their hearts racing and get their hopes up high. Maybe part of it is to feed breadcrumbs in order to maintain that control. Now I am not saying these are cold calculated decision but I feel that these feelings play a part. Another could purely be an impulse. I am sure even if the person is over you and has moved on with somebody else, that does not mean they can erase the memory of you. Maybe at that moment in time a memory pops and it makes them think "maybe I should text him/her". Last one could be that they are genuine in their holiday greeting. Maybe it is naive of them but by sending the holiday greeting they may feel as though they are doing something nice and courteous. But again I think we can only assume and it is that uncertainty that really is the killer. Whatever the reason behind the text, in my view it a selfish need to satisfy something in ones self. I can't say I am not guilty of having done the same at some point in time. But doesn't make it any better or any easier to understand. Whether any of that made sense, I don't know. I felt like I went on a tangent there. 1
dobielover Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 All of them who aren't married. Every single one.
Author eyeam Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 who aren't married. This would imply "trying to keep their options open" no? Giving you juuuust enough to keep you sweet without leading you on too much.
dobielover Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 This would imply "trying to keep their options open" no? Giving you juuuust enough to keep you sweet without leading you on too much. Oh no. These are dudes I've passed on a lonnnnng time ago, who keep trying to get me back. These aren't guys who are trying to keep me sweet. These are desperate ploys to get back in my good graces.
ExtraSpice Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Oh no. These are dudes I've passed on a lonnnnng time ago, who keep trying to get me back. These aren't guys who are trying to keep me sweet. These are desperate ploys to get back in my good graces. Sorry I am gonna go off topic, is your quote from the TV show Helix?
Author eyeam Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 (edited) Well .. I'm in the opposite situation. I was trying to win her back for awhile. When she (eventually) told me she was in a relationship and "happy" I took the moral high ground, wished her the best with it and politely walked away. Since that time she sent me a confusing email, saying "it was really nice what you said to me in your last mail (me gushing) but, I just hope it's genuine and you are not trying to mess me around" (?) and "hhhmm I'm a bit confused now" "I hoped we could be on good terms and reach out from time to time" etc etc asking me about my parents, dog, job, music etc. Telling me she's at her witts end with her stomach issues and miserable with it... Moan moan complain. Then at the end of her mail said "I'm glad you're happy I am very happy too" ? That was awhile ago. I've been dating and happy having fun and met a beautiful, smart woman. It's as if she can sense it? Like she knows I've moved on finally.. And now the message? I know her well, and it would'nt have been out of politeness or some sense of moral obligation? There's some motive there I'm sure.. and the fact that she was clearly spending the day with her family and I pop into her head??? On Christmas Day? At 9:30 in the evening? Edited December 29, 2015 by eyeam
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