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He wasnt interested...then suddenly (without anything happening in between) he is?

Hopeful30

By Hopeful30
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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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This may sound childish but I really am clueless. About a month ago I contacted a guy on Facebook who had attended the same event as me. He said he didnt recognize me so I let it be.

 

Couple days ago I have a friend request and a message saying hi. I dont understand... I did the same a month ago and he was interested. Why now?

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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Who knows why. They real question is, are YOU still interested? Let that be your guiding principle here.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Maybe he was dating someone then?

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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Who knows why. They real question is, are YOU still interested? Let that be your guiding principle here.

 

Nope lol aint that a b*tch

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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Maybe he was dating someone then?

 

Maybe. But I didnt ask him out or hit on him. It was purely friendly, but maybe he saw through that lol

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

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Maybe. But I didnt ask him out or hit on him. It was purely friendly, but maybe he saw through that lol

 

Since *you* were just being "purely friendly" when you sent your friend request, maybe that is all he is doing too.

 

Being friendly...adding *friends* to Facebook.

 

Some people really like to wrack them up, makes it look like they have many friends and are popular.

 

If he were interested, I would think he would try and engage you in some way, not just send an arbitrary *friend request*.

 

People read too much into things sometimes.

 

Jmo.

Ic1 Established Member

Ic1

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Who knows why. They real question is, are YOU still interested? Let that be your guiding principle here.

 

Exactly.

 

What's happened recently besides him friending you on Facebook? Any messages?

 

If you really need to know why at this point look at it from his perspective. Is he the type that just tries to have as many friends as possible on FB? Was he bored one day and decided to chat with someone new online? You have nothing else to go on, so don't assume anything.

losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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Nope lol aint that a b*tch

 

Then I think in this case, it doesn't really matter why. It's kind of a moot point if you're not interested.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Why not ask him in a friendly manner....like "I thought you didn't recognize me? Did you get your memory back?" lol

 

TBH you are reading into this way too much.

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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Exactly.

 

What's happened recently besides him friending you on Facebook? Any messages?

 

If you really need to know why at this point look at it from his perspective. Is he the type that just tries to have as many friends as possible on FB? Was he bored one day and decided to chat with someone new online? You have nothing else to go on, so don't assume anything.

 

I sent him a request prior, which he declined. Then he sent another a month later. That's where I'm confused.

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

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He's bored. Either he's looking for a one night stand or stopped dating someone and is going through his previous "options".... Fishing and seeing who will bite.

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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This may sound childish but I really am clueless. About a month ago I contacted a guy on Facebook who had attended the same event as me. He said he didnt recognize me so I let it be.

 

Couple days ago I have a friend request and a message saying hi. I dont understand... I did the same a month ago and he was interested. Why now?

 

Apparently, guys need time to "think". :)

  • Like 1
truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

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This may sound childish but I really am clueless. About a month ago I contacted a guy on Facebook who had attended the same event as me. He said he didnt recognize me so I let it be.

 

Couple days ago I have a friend request and a message saying hi. I dont understand... I did the same a month ago and he was interested. Why now?

 

I agree with others... you like this guy? That's all that really matters here.

 

You got his attention, now he's here. What are you going to do?

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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People take social media waaaay too personally.

 

It's possible he spends very little to zero time on FB, attending to messages, friend requests, etc.

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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People take social media waaaay too personally.

 

It's possible he spends very little to zero time on FB, attending to messages, friend requests, etc.

 

It's not so much about social media itself. I go on FB twice or three times a month if that. I'm trying to understand the psychology behind it. I'm sure we're all aware how FB brings out issues for many people who use it.

 

I'm trying to dig behind the male brain and how they use social media. I suppose he could be bored, sure. In any case, I declined his invitation :p What can I say, I don't have time for games. Just curious what he thinks he's doing lol I see no harm in asking

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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It's not so much about social media itself. I go on FB twice or three times a month if that. I'm trying to understand the psychology behind it. I'm sure we're all aware how FB brings out issues for many people who use it.

 

I'm trying to dig behind the male brain and how they use social media. I suppose he could be bored, sure. In any case, I declined his invitation :p What can I say, I don't have time for games. Just curious what he thinks he's doing lol I see no harm in asking

 

I don't think there's much psychology behind this one.

 

The answer is probably simple. He was dating someone and saw through your intial request, or he was bored and thought he'd send out a feeler.

 

I really don't feel it's more complicated than that.

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losangelena Established Member

losangelena

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I don't think there's any harm in asking/wondering, either. I'm just not sure there's much of a point to it, as in, you're probably not going to get a very satisfying answer.

 

I mean, a month ago he said he didn't recognize you, so to circle back and do it now, I suppose could mean:

 

A) He doesn't remember you, and maybe you came up as "someone you may know" and he friended you even if he's not quite sure who you are.

B) All of a sudden he DOES remember you.

C) He's playing some kind of weird game.

 

I do think it's a bit odd that he said he didn't "recognize you." That's a hard thing to come back from and say, "hey, I actually DO recognize you," a month later, like he had amnesia or something. In that case I'd say he's a pretty lousy liar or just really hoping you're dense.

 

Either way, H30, I think your energy can be better used elsewhere. You say you met him at an event? What was your interaction like? You obviously talked long enough to find out his name.

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