StayingAlive Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) Hey guys, I've been going out and dating a girl for almost 3 months. She has been gone since last sunday (a week already), last thing she said was that she was not doing great and that she was into a very tough problem... I've tried calling her, but she would never answer. I texted her once and sent a voice message saying that I'm worried about her and can count on me if she needs something, but she hasn't even seen those two messages even though she's been online many times and updated her profile picture once during the week. We both have been into more than 10 dates, they all were amazing, she never cancelled one or said that she couldn't go out, we really had a lot of confidence, we would even kiss and had sex once, last date was awesome because I felt she was getting closer to me, I even helped her a lot in some issues she had and she told me I was a great guy who she trusts a lot because I was always there. So, what should I do guys? should I keep waiting more and give her some space and time or just move on already? I think I've done enough by texting and calling. I cannot find a reason why she would just stop talking to me, maybe I'm the one being selfish for thinking like that because she may be in real trouble. I know where she lives, I even know her parents, but I think going to her place would be a little desperate. I didn't say Merry Christmas because I don't know if that would've been apropriate. I feel really confused because I know she really trusted me, she would even reply back for courtesy to guys she considers a little annoying, and I know that because she shows me her convos without me asking for that, so why wouldn't she talk to me? I feel like hanging in the air, how can I know what to do if I don't even know what's really going on. I've been trying to have a lot of patience, but it will run out some time. Thanks a lot! Edited December 27, 2015 by StayingAlive
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Sorry this has happened, OP. I can't imagine how frustrated you must be. I think she should at least have had the courtesy to acknowledge your message and communicate with you in some way. If she's had time to update her profile picture, she's had time to send you a quick note. I couldn't imagine suddenly dropping out of contact with someone I'd dated for a few months without at least giving them a little more clarity, ex. "Hey, experiencing a family problem/health issue but thank you for your concern. I will get in touch when it smooths over." Or something to that effect. Since it is clear she doesn't want to talk, I would stop reaching out. I would also not wait around for her. After three months, I feel she at least owes you the courtesy of letting you know she received your messages and she'll be in touch when whatever this crisis is passes. Keeping you waiting when you are obviously worried isn't a good sign. I have a bad feeling this is her way of fading, though. You say she's been in contact with other guys - to what extent? I would be concerned that she simply didn't have the cojones to tell you she's met someone else and is hoping instead that you'll take the hint and leave her alone. 1
Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 She didn't have the balls to tell you she's ending it. 6
Author StayingAlive Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) Sorry this has happened, OP. I can't imagine how frustrated you must be. I think she should at least have had the courtesy to acknowledge your message and communicate with you in some way. If she's had time to update her profile picture, she's had time to send you a quick note. I couldn't imagine suddenly dropping out of contact with someone I'd dated for a few months without at least giving them a little more clarity, ex. "Hey, experiencing a family problem/health issue but thank you for your concern. I will get in touch when it smooths over." Or something to that effect. Since it is clear she doesn't want to talk, I would stop reaching out. I would also not wait around for her. After three months, I feel she at least owes you the courtesy of letting you know she received your messages and she'll be in touch when whatever this crisis is passes. Keeping you waiting when you are obviously worried isn't a good sign. I have a bad feeling this is her way of fading, though. You say she's been in contact with other guys - to what extent? I would be concerned that she simply didn't have the cojones to tell you she's met someone else and is hoping instead that you'll take the hint and leave her alone. Short extent, she acted cold to them. I just feel so frustated, this is really hard because before getting to know her I was having a bad time with my life in general, then she appears and motivates me a lot to get better, she did, now I just feel worse than what I was before knowing her... I still cannot believe she could do something like this days before christmas and new year. It even gets worse because she makes me worry, feel hanging in the air, and still gives me a little hope... After three months disappear just like that from one day to another... Edited December 27, 2015 by StayingAlive
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Short extent, she acted cold to them. I just feel so frustated, this is really hard because before getting to know her I was having a bad time with my life in general, then she appears and motivates me a lot to get better, she did, now I just feel worse than what I was before knowing her... I still cannot believe she could do something like this days before christmas and new year. It even gets worse because she makes me worry, feel hanging in the air, and still gives me a little hope... After three months disappear just like that from one day to another... It is certainly a crappy thing for her to do. You don't deserve that. Much as it sucks, I still very strongly suspect that she has in fact met someone else. The only silver lining is that she's just showed you she isn't ready for a mature relationship. She doesn't understand the importance of respectful communication and therefore wouldn't make a very good partner. Do you mind if I ask how you met, and how old she is?
Author StayingAlive Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 It is certainly a crappy thing for her to do. You don't deserve that. Much as it sucks, I still very strongly suspect that she has in fact met someone else. The only silver lining is that she's just showed you she isn't ready for a mature relationship. She doesn't understand the importance of respectful communication and therefore wouldn't make a very good partner. Do you mind if I ask how you met, and how old she is? Thanks a lot, I guess I'm gonna have to grab my balls, get on my feet and keep going... I hope I get over this as soon as possible. One last thing, maybe a hint... she wrote that last message at 4 am on monday, and 2 days later she updates her profile picture at 3 am... What the hell? LOL
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Thanks a lot, I guess I'm gonna have to grab my balls, get on my feet and keep going... I hope I get over this as soon as possible. One last thing, maybe a hint... she wrote that last message at 4 am on monday, and 2 days later she updates her profile picture at 3 am... What the hell? LOL I don't think the times are important. She's obviously up late at night. Not much else to read into. Soon enough you'll be past this. It sounds like it was still rather casual at three months anyway, no?
Author StayingAlive Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 I don't think the times are important. She's obviously up late at night. Not much else to read into. Soon enough you'll be past this. It sounds like it was still rather casual at three months anyway, no? Yeah, she's 21 and I am 25, and we met in the bus while I was on a short trip near the city we live in... I will update if something comes up even though I think nothing will happen... Thanks a lot for reading and giving me you opinion and advice, I do appreciate it.
Poutrew Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Yes, to what the other posters have been telling you. Do not attempt any contacts with her. If she contacts you in the future, reply along the lines of..."so the other guy(s) didn't work out and you are back to me?..." Now if it's true she'll say stuff like "I was confused", "I chose you", or sum such. If she tells you her mom died and the facebook messaging she was doing was to contact relatives for the funeral...well, play it like your heart tells you (but I'd still want to see the grave for proof 'cause I'm basically a bitter guy who has lost most faith in humanity ). But yeah, sounds like she chose the coward's fade...
angel.eyes Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 One last thing, maybe a hint... she wrote that last message at 4 am on monday, and 2 days later she updates her profile picture at 3 am... What the hell? LOL Okay. So she isn't lying comatose in a ditch somewhere. She just chooses not to respond to you. I know it sucks, but at least you know it's over. At least she didn't pull a slow fade on you. I would stop trying to contact her. It's pointless.
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Yes, to what the other posters have been telling you. Do not attempt any contacts with her. If she contacts you in the future, reply along the lines of..."so the other guy(s) didn't work out and you are back to me?..." Now if it's true she'll say stuff like "I was confused", "I chose you", or sum such. If she tells you her mom died and the facebook messaging she was doing was to contact relatives for the funeral...well, play it like your heart tells you (but I'd still want to see the grave for proof 'cause I'm basically a bitter guy who has lost most faith in humanity ). But yeah, sounds like she chose the coward's fade... I agree with this, and please be clear -- she is NOT a nice person, she is inconsiderate and cruel, so pls take the blinders off, and move on from this coward. I have no respect for people who choose this path to end a relationship ...men or women. It is weak and cruel! Please please please block her and take steps to get over her and move on. There is NO excuse for that shyt....it's horrible. And so is she IMO. 1
Author StayingAlive Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) Yes, to what the other posters have been telling you. Do not attempt any contacts with her. If she contacts you in the future, reply along the lines of..."so the other guy(s) didn't work out and you are back to me?..." Now if it's true she'll say stuff like "I was confused", "I chose you", or sum such. If she tells you her mom died and the facebook messaging she was doing was to contact relatives for the funeral...well, play it like your heart tells you (but I'd still want to see the grave for proof 'cause I'm basically a bitter guy who has lost most faith in humanity ). But yeah, sounds like she chose the coward's fade... I will definetely not attempt any contact with her anymore, I did enough already and I won't lower myself anymore till I get to the ground. LOL at the rest of your comment, it was kinda funny xD Okay. So she isn't lying comatose in a ditch somewhere. She just chooses not to respond to you. I know it sucks, but at least you know it's over. At least she didn't pull a slow fade on you. I would stop trying to contact her. It's pointless. What would be the difference if she had pulled a slow fade on me? I agree with this, and please be clear -- she is NOT a nice person, she is inconsiderate and cruel, so pls take the blinders off, and move on from this coward. I have no respect for people who choose this path to end a relationship ...men or women. It is weak and cruel! Please please please block her and take steps to get over her and move on. There is NO excuse for that shyt....it's horrible. And so is she IMO. Thanks a lot, you made it very clear and straight, I like your comment, no Bullsh*ting around. Edited December 27, 2015 by StayingAlive 1
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 You should show that she is very important to you. And you will make everything just being together with her! Don't give up' date=' dude)[/quote'] Oh man, do you ever have a lot to learn....
Xiomn Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Wow what a b****. I'd be pissed. She is clearly ignoring you and hoping you get the hint to move the hell on because she doesn't have the testies to tell it straight. Absolutely hate this in women. Drives me nuts up the wall wondering what the hell happened. By far number 1 pet peeve in dating.
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Wow what a b****. I'd be pissed. She is clearly ignoring you and hoping you get the hint to move the hell on because she doesn't have the testies to tell it straight. Absolutely hate this in women. Drives me nuts up the wall wondering what the hell happened. Do you hate it in men too? Or just women. Cause BOTH men and women do this....in case you hadn't noticed. 4
Xiomn Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Do you hate it in men too? Or just women. Cause BOTH men and women do this....in case you hadn't noticed Yes. But I'm a man who is attracted to solely women so I thought it appropriate to just mention women in my sentence. I noticed. 1
Author StayingAlive Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Thanks a lot for you comments, guys. I do appreciate them all. I'm about to delete all trace of her and get over this shyt right now. If she ever comes back like nothing would've happened, I'll update, but I'm pretty sure I will tell her to just stay away from my life. 1
Author StayingAlive Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 I won't get into details, but looks like, looks like she found someone else. I will keep moving on as I was already doing.. I feel better though because I have an answer, so now I sure know what to do. Thanks again all of you! And have a happy new year.
nicco Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Glad you found closure. Did you ever ask her to be your girlfriend? If not, what were you waiting for? Next time move a little faster, because most girls will not ask a guy out. Three months is a long time.
sin miedo Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 I won't get into details, but looks like, looks like she found someone else. I will keep moving on as I was already doing.. I feel better though because I have an answer, so now I sure know what to do. Thanks again all of you! And have a happy new year. I would imagine y'all had to be exclusive by 3 months, right? If so, that's totally ****ed up, soooo immature and cowardly for someone to dip out like she did. If I was in your shoes, I would be devastated but happy that it didn't progress further and her flaking out at a later stage. Either way, I feel for ya. Get some friends together and try your best to forget about that piece of scum.
Author StayingAlive Posted January 2, 2016 Author Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) So she contacted me as if nothing would've happened... Wtf? Lol she just said "hey, how are you doing?". Whatever, I'm already moving on. Edited January 2, 2016 by StayingAlive 1
TheArtist Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 "hey, how are you doing?" Yeah, that's hardly an apology, that's guilt. She just wants to be sure that you're OK, but it's for her own benefit, not yours. Don't answer it until something sincere comes through, if then.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 Yeah, that's hardly an apology, that's guilt. She just wants to be sure that you're OK, but it's for her own benefit, not yours. Don't answer it until something sincere comes through, if then. A big 2nd to this! Ignore her OP.
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