Jimmyjackson Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) I've been speaking to this girl, sometimes I feel she likes me because she initiates conversations and we've kissed but other times she is very quiet and I feel as though she's pulling away. We've talked about what we want and stuff, she's said how she doesn't want anything serious but not just sex either(makes no sense) and I told her I don't want anything too serious either. I asked her out and she said yeah but then flaked on me and went out with her friends instead, I decided to join my friends this night also and I seen her out a few hours later, she was constant around me like a bad smell, kept kissing me and flirting etc. She said to me while we were chatting that she is hot and cold? (this was Wednesday). After this she doesn't really make much effort to communicate the next few days despite seemingly showing high levels of Interest in me the night before. I seen her last night and we spoke for a couple of minutes but she didn't say much then texted me loads of drunken nonsense when she went home. I guess I want to know why is this girl so hot and cold with me? One minute it seems she likes me, the next she doesn't. Should I even bother with her if she's constantly pushing and pulling? She even said herself she is hot and cold when we were out. Should I just ignore her and let her come to me (if she wants to that is)? Edited December 27, 2015 by Jimmyjackson
Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 She's playing you with the 'hot & cold' tact. She has an interest in you, but wants you to come on your knees to her. I'd say drop the ball when it's hot and don't waste your time anymore. That way she knows you're not interested anymore when she has your attention. This type of person is making the foundation for a relationship to be built poorly. (Don't think you need a stable relationship for only long term.)
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Meh, forget about her. She's not interested enough, but frankly, you also told her you're not looking for anything serious. Why would she continue to come around? You both apparently want something casual, so not sure what the problem is.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Meh, forget about her. She's not interested enough, but frankly, you also told her you're not looking for anything serious. Why would she continue to come around? You both apparently want something casual, so not sure what the problem is. Well after I told her that she continued to speak to me and we kissed afterwards too a few times so didn't think it had any influence really
Stephanie91 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I've been speaking to this girl, sometimes I feel she likes me because she initiates conversations and we've kissed but other times she is very quiet and I feel as though she's pulling away. We've talked about what we want and stuff, she's said how she doesn't want anything serious but not just sex either(makes no sense) and I told her I don't want anything too serious either. I asked her out and she said yeah but then flaked on me and went out with her friends instead, I decided to join my friends this night also and I seen her out a few hours later, she was constant around me like a bad smell, kept kissing me and flirting etc. She said to me while we were chatting that she is hot and cold? (this was Wednesday). After this she doesn't really make much effort to communicate the next few days despite seemingly showing high levels of Interest in me the night before. I seen her last night and we spoke for a couple of minutes but she didn't say much then texted me loads of drunken nonsense when she went home. I guess I want to know why is this girl so hot and cold with me? One minute it seems she likes me, the next she doesn't. Should I even bother with her if she's constantly pushing and pulling? She even said herself she is hot and cold when we were out. Should I just ignore her and let her come to me (if she wants to that is)? honestly, I think you're not the only guy she's flirting with. Girls are just like guys, they date around, not necessarily sleeping around but there are other guys around her. That is why she is so hot and cold. Don't go after her, don't chase, but every time you meet try to be the best version of yourself. And if she continues to waste your time like that, unless you're in love with her, move on. 1
MzLady Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 She's playing games... sounds like you might be the back up plan (sorry to say that). But if she really was interested, she wouldn't have flaked on your to go our with her friends. Best of luck to you
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Should I just leave her be? If she wants to contact me she knows how to...
Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Should I just leave her be? If she wants to contact me she knows how to... She's going to contact you, but just enough to play. Don't respond!
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 She's going to contact you, but just enough to play. Don't respond! These games they play, are they subconscious? Whenever I've had a girl really into me it's because I've been chased but without meaning to be, if that makes sense?
Stephanie91 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Should I just leave her be? If she wants to contact me she knows how to... Well this is what you do: if you like her (really like her) then don't burn the bridge, remember, walking away is always possible and it's easy to do. But if you don't have strong feelings for her then maybe you shouldn't even bother. Here's the thing, speaking from my own experience, I have cut off ties with guys I was angry at but then I regretted it as soon as I realized I lost my chance with them. So walking away should be the last resort especially if you really like her and she gives you a hope...
Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 These games they play, are they subconscious? Whenever I've had a girl really into me it's because I've been chased but without meaning to be, if that makes sense? They can be subconscious actions, but they're not subconscious intentions. No matter if they know the strategy they're pulling, it's because they want you only on their terms. And if you go crawling to them in such a way, best of luck in the relationship.
Space Ritual Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Go bang one of her friends, Jimmy. You'll pretty much find out right away whether she is hot or cold. LOL! I Know that was sophomoric but seriously just like choices at a Buffet, young people around other good looking people at a bar or club sometimes they want to see what's on the menu on the other side of the sneeze guard. sometimes it will look appetizing, sometimes it will taste like an old shoe. But sample they must If you are expecting a long term commitment from this girl you should not hold your breath. Unless you are going to demand she never leave your side or look at anyone else with the promise of a bullet to the head if she does, this is just something that is part of being young and good looking. I'm neither anymore but I used to be...lol
Buddhist Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) I guess I want to know why is this girl so hot and cold with me? One minute it seems she likes me, the next she doesn't. Should I even bother with her if she's constantly pushing and pulling? She even said herself she is hot and cold when we were out. Should I just ignore her and let her come to me (if she wants to that is)? Because she has mental health issues. Don't stick your dick in crazy it never ends well. Edited December 27, 2015 by Buddhist
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Because she has mental health issues. Don't stick your dick in crazy it never ends well. They're all crazy
Buddhist Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 They're all crazy Says a lot about the company you keep then. 1
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Well this is what you do: if you like her (really like her) then don't burn the bridge, remember, walking away is always possible and it's easy to do. But if you don't have strong feelings for her then maybe you shouldn't even bother. Here's the thing, speaking from my own experience, I have cut off ties with guys I was angry at but then I regretted it as soon as I realized I lost my chance with them. So walking away should be the last resort especially if you really like her and she gives you a hope... I think it's more an ego thing to be honest, when she was chasing me I didn't care as much but now the tables have turned and she has dropped her interest it's bothered me haha.
Author Jimmyjackson Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 She's playing games... sounds like you might be the back up plan (sorry to say that). But if she really was interested, she wouldn't have flaked on your to go our with her friends. Best of luck to you I think you're right, either another guy or an ex possibly.
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