raydeeyo Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 hi loveshack community i'm new here. it's difficult for me to talk about my feelings in real life so here i am. i'm feeling lost and a little numb...how do i get through this?
Sar112 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Remember that there will be other 'loves' in your life. If this is meant to be then the person will realise and they will come back to you. Do all you can without contacting them to show them that you can get on with life without them. If you do want them back, this is the best chance you stand at achieving it. Just remember, it will take a long time, but time will heal you, and, once you meet someone new it's likely that this person will become a distant memory that you can look back positively on. Just concentrate on yourself, keep away from what your ex is doing and take each day as it comes. Each day that passes where you haven't spoken to them or tried to check up on what they are doing, means one day closer to you feeling ok again. So praise yourself when you achieve it. Take care of yourself.
Author raydeeyo Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) i didn't want to do it but it had to be done. i feel like this is the best for the both of us but i cant stop thinking about her. i feel like a rope in a tug of war match between my head and my heart...we were together for 4 years but all we've done the last 2 years was fight and try to stay together...i feel exhausted Edited December 27, 2015 by raydeeyo
HazzaManazza Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Hey, I know how it feels, 10 weeks ago my Russian, now ex girlfriend broke up with me and I loved her more than anything in this world. She left me for someone else, she was my first love too and we'd only been together for a year and were making plans 10 years into the future! She said, what if you'll leave me one day, and I said Daria I will never leave you, you will leave me. Turns out I was right after all, she was being moody when I last texted her and said she liked someone else. I thought she was the one, we were so unbelievably!!!close and I loved everything about her. I would have given my life for her. We even made plans ten years in the future and she loved me so much, even now I struggle to accept that it only lasted a year, we were the effect couple and I am distraught we only lasted a year, she was my first true love that wasn't unrequited and you wouldn't believe it if you knew how much she loved me, she's broken up and come back to me a few times before but she promised on her life she'd never leave me and that she would never have anyone else. Morale of the story is never trust a girl no matter how much they love you or claim to. You would never believe she left me if you saw us in our prime, and you'd be so shocked how much she changed. Sure she had some really difficult times but I was always there for her and gave her so much love and that's how she repaid me for everything I've done for her. E.g her maths teacher was in love with her and kissed and touched her against her will and talked to her about his fantasies of having sex with her, but I gave her al the support I could and tried my best to make her feel so special! I would have given my life for her. Sounds like we're in the same boat, don't worry dude it will get better with time, relationships are really hard And it rarely works out. do you have any interests, go to the gym, go out with friends! Do everything to clear your mind of her, but also give yourself time to grieve. Cry if you need to, it helps clear your mind. 10 weeks on and I'm still a mess but defo better than before, when I found out she was with someone else I was in such a state, I didn't eat for days, I couldn't sleep, I cried all night, I drank, smoked, took codeine pills, that hit me harder than the breakup. No matter what though, we are going through the same thing and we can use that as an advantage to help each other, if you want of course. Btw idk about you but for me finding a new girl easily allows me to forget about my "previous interest". Let me know how you're doing, best wishes
buddha84 Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Ya gotta take off the rose-tinted glasses Hazza. No offense to you, but you kind of sound like I did at 10 weeks. I'm now 6 months from my breakup and I started to realize that the things I convinced myself that I loved about the person were actually my own attached delusion. I mean, sure, there were good times, but it's not until you start meeting new women/men that I think you realize there were qualities that your ex lacked and that they weren't that perfect. You can even realize this being single (which I did). One day I was walking thinking about all the ways I could have supported her more, done more, and all the things I already did, and I realized that she just required WAY more support than I could give. I also know I wasn't perfect in the relationship, but she left me for another guy because she "thought she could do better". On another note, you sound like you are on a good path to get over them - there will still be days were you might remember them and the times you had, but I now really lack any desire to rekindle things. I personally believe that once you have a breakup, and the person leaves you for another, that is when you need to shut the door. It's just disrespectful to do that and says a lot about how they view you. Thing is, there's tons of women/men out there who will be completely interested in your life and who you are once you are over your ex and not making the conversation about them. There's people who don't know you, but who probably would like to get to know you.
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