Too broken to love again

[seethelight]

Hi all, 26 year old male here. A huge thank you in advance for your advice. Blessings to all.

 

So I just got dumped during this Christmas by this girl I was seeing since the start of the year as she couldn't forgive me for meeting my ex. It was just a casual meet up which I kept from her because I didn't want her to worry but I eventually told her anyway (after the meet up) and she has lost all trust in me. I really regret my actions. I told myself that she was my last hope in love as she was different from the rest and I really liked her.

 

Prior to this, I was in a relationship with my ex and spent 2 years getting over her. It was a really tumultuous time. I couldn't sleep properly for a long time and struggled with anxiety.

 

I'm sick of the panic attacks, the nauseating feeling in my gut and the only thing stopping me from death is the fear of going to hell. I've been emotionally scarred from the previous relationship and it took me awhile to open up my heart to another girl only to have it shattered again.

 

I'm really losing faith in the idea of real love and sincerely feel that I'm too broken to love again.

 

How do I get out of this nightmarish rut? I am miserable. I feel hopeless.

Edited December 27, 2015 by seethelight

[K2z]

I feel the exact same way. I am 20 years older than you.

 

But everybody says differently. There's maybe a tiny glint of hope.

 

I don't expect much from myself right now. Don't expect much from yourself either. Just waking up and going through the motions is all we can do for a while.

[Hoosfoos]

I don't post much on the site anymore but the title of your post caught my eye because it is exactly the way I feel also. I too am in my mid-forties.

 

I can't give you much advice except to point out that you are still young and you have a ton of living ahead of you. Disappear completely from your exes life, block her on all social media and try to put your life together on your own.