lv728n Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Asked out a girl. She replied: “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?”. Does anyone else think that saying “I wouldn’t mind that” is really insulting? I didn’t ask her if she’d mind going out with me after all…I just asked her out period. It seems like going out with me is a chore for her, or isn't a potentially positive experience, based on those words. Or am I just reading into things?
losangelena Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Asked out a girl. She replied: “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?”. Does anyone else think that saying “I wouldn’t mind that” is really insulting? I didn’t ask her if she’d mind going out with me after all…I just asked her out period. It seems like going out with me is a chore for her based on those words. Or am I just reading into things? Mmm ... tough to say. My gut reaction says that you are reading into things a bit. That just sounds like a colloquial way to say, "sure!," or maybe she doesn't want to sound overeager? How do you know her? Did you meet her online? Have you interacted before? How has she seemed? I doubt she'd be going out with you if it were a "chore." 1
AspenBaldwin Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 She doesn't care either way. Move on kid.
basil67 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Asked out a girl. She replied: “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?”. Does anyone else think that saying “I wouldn’t mind that” is really insulting? I didn’t ask her if she’d mind going out with me after all…I just asked her out period. It seems like going out with me is a chore for her, or isn't a potentially positive experience, based on those words. Or am I just reading into things? I'm wondering if there are cultural issues at play. I'm Australian and we all do understatements - so to me, it's hardly a negative. Perhaps she's also Queen of the Understatement. Oh, you're offering me a glass of fine Champagne? I wouldn't mind that. I also wouldn't mind if you wanted to go and buy me a lovely piece of jewellery. Get the picture? 4
Space Ritual Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Asked out a girl. She replied: “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?”. Does anyone else think that saying “I wouldn’t mind that” is really insulting? I didn’t ask her if she’d mind going out with me after all…I just asked her out period. It seems like going out with me is a chore for her, or isn't a potentially positive experience, based on those words. Or am I just reading into things? Maybe she was just taken aback and surprised you asked her out? But I think she could take it or leave it. Could be she is more interested in her career than seeing someone right now. I would not dwell on it and accept it at face value. Which means go ask someone else out.
Beach Guy Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Go on the date and see how it turns out. Have fun!
Wewon Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 My first reaction is to say that you're reading into things, but I'm notorious for not paying attention to the impact of wording details. I've had people explain to me the massive difference between, "You look nice." and "You look nice, today." (apparently the later is slick insult that implies that you normally don't look so nice).
PrettyEmily77 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Asked out a girl. She replied: “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?”. Does anyone else think that saying “I wouldn’t mind that” is really insulting? I didn’t ask her if she’d mind going out with me after all…I just asked her out period. It seems like going out with me is a chore for her, or isn't a potentially positive experience, based on those words. Or am I just reading into things? It'll largely come down to whether she does actually get back to you once she's figured her work schedule for next week - that should give you a clear answer. Anything other than that is conjecture, at this point. 3
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I don't find it insulting at all....it sounds very casual. If she said "I guess I could"....that is insulting. 1
bathtub-row Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 It's most likely just a figure of speech that she uses. I wouldn't make too much of it if I were you.
xcupid Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I don't take it as insulting but I wouldn't hold my breath that she will "get back to you." That's what I'd be more concerned about - not a lot of enthusiasm in that reply. 3
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 My first reaction is to say that you're reading into things, but I'm notorious for not paying attention to the impact of wording details. I've had people explain to me the massive difference between, "You look nice." and "You look nice, today." (apparently the later is slick insult that implies that you normally don't look so nice). LOL...or how about *you look great....for your age.* I am only 37, but apparently that is old to some people....but I look great regardless. Thanks! Or sometimes I get "your make up looks great"! My response....I am not wearing any make up, but thanks! These comments (not compliments) are mostly, if not always, from women....go figure.
Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I don't think you can interpret her intent based solely on those choice words. “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?” 1. She has a quiet tone of voice, and is obviously shy due to her eyes being afraid to looking directly at you and her shoulders are very high up, covering her neck. But she has a smile on her face. Meaning = "I'd love to, just I'd be really ashamed to have to reschedule. So let me make sure it'll work?" 2. She rolls her eyes are you as she says the first part, and flips her phone out and takes awhile to check her schedule with no attention to you. There's an awkward gap in conversation. Meaning = "Yeah right, get lost before I have to tell you NO!" 3. When you ask, she turns a bit more towards you (not fully), but gives full eye contact during her statement. Her tone of voice is seductive and she keeps her shoulders down and back in a relaxed way. Meaning = "Let's get together, but I want to make sure you put some effort into it."
road Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Asked out a girl. She replied: “I wouldn’t mind that…can I get back to you once I figure out my work schedule for the next week?”. Does anyone else think that saying “I wouldn’t mind that” is really insulting? I didn’t ask her if she’d mind going out with me after all…I just asked her out period. It seems like going out with me is a chore for her, or isn't a potentially positive experience, based on those words. Or am I just reading into things? You know just because a man finds a woman attractive does not mean she has to find him just as desirable. So her response can be see wants to go out with you but has to really check her schedule. Or ooooooooooew, not if you were the last man to ever ask her out, though she wants to let you down easy without having to say no and then have the awkward moment of silence for the next few minutes. Wait a week ask again you get the same stall response then take it as a no and try your chances with another woman.
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Perhaps she was just trying to be coy... a bit elusive so as to avoid sounding too enthusiastic... which she may have been! I could see myself responding that way...with a wink wink at the end or something. It is probably the opposite of what you are assuming it means! 1
StBreton Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I'd take it as slightly coy and maybe an invitation to engage in some playful banter. What was your follow up to her response? Did you tease her a little? Flirt with her? Sometimes I give funny non committal responses to flirt with a guy. It's my way of gauging if the guy is witty/playful. 3
Amalyn Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I don't find this response insulting. I think she might actually be really busy with work. I say go on the date and take it from there. Try to read her body language.
Glitters Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 There is nothing insulting , in my opinion. She has to check her schedule, what's insulting in that ?
singlelife Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Perhaps she was just trying to be coy... a bit elusive so as to avoid sounding too enthusiastic... which she may have been! I could see myself responding that way...with a wink wink at the end or something. It is probably the opposite of what you are assuming it means! Yeah. Women do try to be busy so they aren't looking easy.
WaitingForBardot Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) My first reaction is to say that you're reading into things, but I'm notorious for not paying attention to the impact of wording details. I've had people explain to me the massive difference between, "You look nice." and "You look nice, today." (apparently the later is slick insult that implies that you normally don't look so nice). Reminds me of a story... Many years ago my wife had clients visiting from out of town. She was escorting them back to her building from the visitor's entrance (~5-6 min walk) and three separate people remarked "you look really nice today" as they walked by. After the 3rd time, one of her clients looked at her and said "What do you usually look like?" ..lol.. ...and OP no, I wouldn't find her response off-putting at all. Edited December 27, 2015 by WaitingForBardot 1
Recommended Posts