Fuerza Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I need some serious help here because I'm so damn confused. I've got to know a guy I really like on paper (haven't had the time to meet up with him as I'm in the midst of my finals) but he seems to send some really confusing signals. The beginning of our conversations were very sexual where he would send me pics of his boner, talk sexual but I never sexted back, I'm just not that type of girl that does that with a stranger lol. Since than he has been sending signals that he really seems to like me, asks me for pictures of myself(pretty often, which makes me wonder why he wants them lol?), asks when we can meet up and stuff, telling me I'm his type of girl because we have some things in common. However, he also has said to me that he knows I'm looking for more bf material and he just doesn't know if he's that kind of guy but he wants to meet up and see from there. During all this he has also been on dates with other girls and screwing those girls. Last time he told me, he had like 3+ dates a week and I started ignoring him after that because I got major player vibes from him. After a week of me ignoring me, he initiates contact, asking how I am and asking for a cute picture of me. I didn't send him a picture of me because hey I don't like being the back up girl. If he is dating multiple girls, why not ask t those girls for a picture lol? So this is the situation for now, we do click, have things in common and I definitely want to meet up with him but for now I just wonder if he is maybe just looking for another fling again. And I really don't have the time for that. But why initiate contact with me if he is just looking for a fling? Just seems too much effort as he can get whomever he wants. Opinions? :/
smackie9 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Hah that's his game hun....to confuse you, to make you second guess, and hope he could be genuine. He's working every angle to get you and anyone else in the sac...why does he keep trying? Because you keep replying to his messages. Block/delete, move on.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) It couldn't be much clearer that he's after sex. If that's all you want from him, proceed. But he's a typical player. He wants to get you in bed, and he's not gone to that much effort. All he's done is text you, correct? I wouldn't meet up with him. To answer your other question, he probably is asking the other girls for pictures too. And lord knows what he's doing with them. Guys like him will put out feelers everywhere until they get a bite. Where did you meet this guy? Edited December 26, 2015 by ExpatInItaly 1
preraph Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Look, anytime a guy sends you a picture of his boner, there's no mixed signals anymore. All he wants is sex and he's not looking for a nice girl. He's looking for any girl. He's not looking for a girlfriend. He's looking for a warm mouth. You need to think more of yourself and ditch this guy pronto. 1
Author Fuerza Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 Hah that's his game hun....to confuse you, to make you second guess, and hope he could be genuine. He's working every angle to get you and anyone else in the sac...why does he keep trying? Because you keep replying to his messages. Block/delete, move on. That's the thing, he will say things like 'I don't like talking sexual with you because I only do that with girls I end up having sex with', I've been ignoring him for multiple times now but he keeps reaching out. It couldn't be much clearer that he's after sex. If that's all you want from him, proceed. But he's a typical player. He wants to get you in bed, and he's not gone to that much effort. All he's done is text you, correct? I wouldn't meet up with him. To answer your other question, he probably is asking the other girls for pictures too. And lord knows what he's doing with them. Guys like him will put out feelers everywhere until they get a bite. Where did you meet this guy? Sex is nice, but not with him, especially not knowing he multidates and tells me about his sexual escapades with his latest girl. I met him on Tinder, which says enough I guess lol. He only has texted me yes, sends me pictures of himself usually or with his friends. But that's really it, no phone calls or anyhing. Look, anytime a guy sends you a picture of his boner, there's no mixed signals anymore. All he wants is sex and he's not looking for a nice girl. He's looking for any girl. He's not looking for a girlfriend. He's looking for a warm mouth. You need to think more of yourself and ditch this guy pronto. That was in the beginning though, after he got to know me he for some reason he didn't want to talk sexual because he only does that with girls he ends up having sex with (what he said). Anyway, it's not like I had my hopes on this guy or something, if anything I've friendzoned him a looong time ago and don't care that much anymore. Somewhere though I was kind of hoping though he'd be different with me!
mssweet Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Just block him. Of course he is a player. It is very obvious. He will continue to communicate with you if you keep responding. He is clearly looking for sex, and you will just be another notch in his belt.
Author Fuerza Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 Just block him. Of course he is a player. It is very obvious. He will continue to communicate with you if you keep responding. He is clearly looking for sex, and you will just be another notch in his belt. Nah I won't block him, I'm not that type of girl. I'll just tell him straight out how I feel and see how he responds. He's shared quite some personal things and just blocking him out of the blue would be immature of me.
oberkeat Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Look, anytime a guy sends you a picture of his boner, there's no mixed signals anymore. All he wants is sex and he's not looking for a nice girl. He's looking for any girl. He's not looking for a girlfriend. He's looking for a warm mouth. You need to think more of yourself and ditch this guy pronto. I think you're right about this being a matter of self esteem. No woman with real self respect would continue to communicate with this guy or consider dating him, IMO. So this is the situation for now, we do click, have things in common and I definitely want to meet up with him but for now I just wonder if he is maybe just looking for another fling again. And I really don't have the time for that. But why initiate contact with me if he is just looking for a fling? Just seems too much effort as he can get whomever he wants. Opinions? :/ Sounds to me like OP is still intrigued with this dude despite all the warning signs about him. Not surprising: he sounds like the type of unavailable, aloof, disrespectful man that most women prefer these days. 1
Author Fuerza Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 I think you're right about this being a matter of self esteem. No woman with real self respect would continue to communicate with this guy or consider dating him, IMO. Sounds to me like OP is still intrigued with this guy despite all the warning signs about him. Not surprising: he sounds like the type of unavailable, aloof, disrespectful man that most women prefer these days. It's not a matter with my self-esteem at all, let's make that very clear. Yes he might be looking for a booty call preferably but I also think he's looking for something stable if he meets it. I've made it very clear to him that I'm not the type that does one night stands or whatever, but he keeps contacting me. That doesn't make sense, as he can literally get sex from any girl he likes. I've also ignored texts from him but he still reaches out to me, so maybe there is a part of him that is generally interested in me. The thing that bothers me is that I seem to be this side-chick, or B-plan which I absolutely hate and I'll confront him about that. But I think he's the insecure one in this whole story, maybe he likes the easiness of having one night stands and is scared of a relationship. That's just what I'm reading off of him. Btw your last sentence is disgusting and very condescending, shame that you talk about women like this.
katiegrl Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I think you're right about this being a matter of self esteem. No woman with real self respect would continue to communicate with this guy or consider dating him, IMO. Sounds to me like OP is still intrigued with this dude despite all the warning signs about him. Not surprising: he sounds like the type of unavailable, aloof, disrespectful man that most women prefer these days. I don't know about "most" women, but it is obvious the OP is intrigued by this disrespectful bozo. A guy I have not even met yet sends me a pic of his boner = immediate next. Block, delete, next. Ick! Just curious Fuerza...why would you continue interacting with him after that? Sending you a pic of his boner is the ultimate in disrespectful behavior. What were you thinking? Just curious. 3
oberkeat Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 It's not a matter with my self-esteem at all, let's make that very clear. Yes he might be looking for a booty call preferably but I also think he's looking for something stable if he meets it. I've made it very clear to him that I'm not the type that does one night stands or whatever, but he keeps contacting me. That doesn't make sense, as he can literally get sex from any girl he likes. I've also ignored texts from him but he still reaches out to me, so maybe there is a part of him that is generally interested in me. The thing that bothers me is that I seem to be this side-chick, or B-plan which I absolutely hate and I'll confront him about that. But I think he's the insecure one in this whole story, maybe he likes the easiness of having one night stands and is scared of a relationship. That's just what I'm reading off of him. Btw your last sentence is disgusting and very condescending, shame that you talk about women like this. Your behavior and actions is what indicates to me that you like this kind of disrespectful treatment this guy is giving you. You say that you are uncomfortable being a side chick or sex object, and yet you continue to communicate with this guy anyway and still want to see him. Maybe you like the attention. Or the challenge of trying to tame a bad boy.
Author Fuerza Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 I don't know about "most" women, but it is obvious the OP is intrigued by this disrespectful bozo. A guy I have not even met yet sends me a pic of his boner = immediate next. Block, delete, next. Ick! Just curious Fuerza...why would you continue interacting with him after that? Sending you a pic of his boner is the ultimate in disrespectful behavior. What were you thinking? Just curious. He didn't send me a pic of his boner right away. First few weeks we had really nice conversations, he was really nice and respectful. At some point, after those few weeks, I had sent him a picture of me and he got turned on by it(not my cleavage or whatever, just my hair), resulting in him sending a picture of himself in his boxers with a boner. I made it clear after that, that I did not want any sexual talks or whatever and he apologized saying he won't say or show anything sexual. I ignored him for a while after that but he kept reaching out, wanting to know more about me but I kept at a distant which he felt right away. He than said he will do all the effort that is needed for me to open up again. Guys that send me immediate boners, get a block right away from me too, but I knew him for a longer while, we were flirting in that conversation and things happen I guess lol. But yes I'm intrigued with this guy, I'm keeping him at a distance because I know he's in it for the sex but for some reason my gut is telling me wants more but he is being very careful about it.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Nah I won't block him, I'm not that type of girl. I'll just tell him straight out how I feel and see how he responds. He's shared quite some personal things and just blocking him out of the blue would be immature of me. Immature in what way? I don't see how it's immature to shut down a man who is clearly only trying to get in bed. This guy clearly isn't mature himself. He has told you about how he has sex with other women. He sent you unsolicited nudes, for heaven's sake. Trust me when I say that etiquette and respect is not high on his list of priorities. I seriously don't think you'll hurt his feelings if you don't speak to him again.
smackie9 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 If he was truly looking for something more solid if he found it, he is going about it the wrong way......oh wait he is lying because he is a con artist.....I believe this is a player works no? It's called manipulation, pulling the wool over your eyes.....
oberkeat Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 It's not a matter with my self-esteem at all, let's make that very clear. Yes he might be looking for a booty call preferably but I also think he's looking for something stable if he meets it. I've made it very clear to him that I'm not the type that does one night stands or whatever, but he keeps contacting me. That doesn't make sense, as he can literally get sex from any girl he likes. I've also ignored texts from him but he still reaches out to me, so maybe there is a part of him that is generally interested in me. . I think there's something narcissistic about this bolded line here. It is as if you are turned on by the idea that the jerk would choose you over other women. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 He didn't send me a pic of his boner right away. First few weeks we had really nice conversations, he was really nice and respectful. At some point, after those few weeks, I had sent him a picture of me and he got turned on by it(not my cleavage or whatever, just my hair), resulting in him sending a picture of himself in his boxers with a boner. I made it clear after that, that I did not want any sexual talks or whatever and he apologized saying he won't say or show anything sexual. I ignored him for a while after that but he kept reaching out, wanting to know more about me but I kept at a distant which he felt right away. He than said he will do all the effort that is needed for me to open up again. Guys that send me immediate boners, get a block right away from me too, but I knew him for a longer while, we were flirting in that conversation and things happen I guess lol. But yes I'm intrigued with this guy, I'm keeping him at a distance because I know he's in it for the sex but for some reason my gut is telling me wants more but he is being very careful about it. Careful? He is telling you that he's dating and having sex with other girls. He sends you pictures of his genitals and you've never even met him. By whose definition is that careful? Don't fool yourself OP. I say this because a guy who really wants something more doesn't behave this way. At the risk of sounding condescending, (and I don't mean to be, honestly), do you have much dating experience? He is pulling classic player moves and you don't appear to recognize them. 1
Author Fuerza Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 I think there's something narcissistic about this bolded line here. It is as if you are turned on by the idea that the jerk would choose you over other women. That's not what I meant. I meant that if he has 20 other women he could easily contact to have sex with, why would he keep reaching out to me when I've been pretty darn difficult... Careful? He is telling you that he's dating and having sex with other girls. He sends you pictures of his genitals and you've never even met him. By whose definition is that careful? Don't fool yourself OP. I say this because a guy who really wants something more doesn't behave this way. At the risk of sounding condescending, (and I don't mean to be, honestly), do you have much dating experience? He is pulling classic player moves and you don't appear to recognize them. Don't worry, I appreciate your opinion really. I completely understand your point of view and trust me I do feel the same way but for some way I also feel intrigued by him and keep saying to myself 'what if he IS looking for something serious in the end'? You're spot on too, I don't have much dating experience, just broken up with my ex for few months now and the conversations I've had with this guy were nice even if it included a boner pic lol. No dating experience = coming to you guys here for advice!
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 That's not what I meant. I meant that if he has 20 other women he could easily contact to have sex with, why would he keep reaching out to me when I've been pretty darn difficult... Don't worry, I appreciate your opinion really. I completely understand your point of view and trust me I do feel the same way but for some way I also feel intrigued by him and keep saying to myself 'what if he IS looking for something serious in the end'? You're spot on too, I don't have much dating experience, just broken up with my ex for few months now and the conversations I've had with this guy were nice even if it included a boner pic lol. No dating experience = coming to you guys here for advice! He already told you he's not looking for a relationship. Believe him. I'd have saved myself a lot of confusion and hurt if I'd actually listened to guys who told me that. He's reaching out to you because a lot men like the challenge; but for a player, it's like a conquest. It's an ego-booster to finally get the girl to give in when she's been resisting. It doesn't mean he'll stick around after. If he wanted something more, he'd ask you for a proper date. And he certainly wouldn't be telling you about the other women he's having sex with.
dobielover Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 LOL those are not mixed signals, those are very clear signals that he's just looking for pu$$y. His comment to you that he thinks you're looking for a relationship but is willing to meet up and see is just his way of saying, "You want a boyfriend, and I'm not into that, but once we meet up, I bet I can manipulate you into wanting to bone down here and again and keeping you on a string."
Xiomn Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Wow I read the OP and the guy sounded like a paedophile or 100% creep.
Author Fuerza Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 He already told you he's not looking for a relationship. Believe him. I'd have saved myself a lot of confusion and hurt if I'd actually listened to guys who told me that. He's reaching out to you because a lot men like the challenge; but for a player, it's like a conquest. It's an ego-booster to finally get the girl to give in when she's been resisting. It doesn't mean he'll stick around after. If he wanted something more, he'd ask you for a proper date. And he certainly wouldn't be telling you about the other women he's having sex with. That's the thing, he only told me that he doesn't know if he is the bf type of guy BUT he is looking for something serious in the end. I agree with you though and have discussed this with him. LOL those are not mixed signals, those are very clear signals that he's just looking for pu$$y. His comment to you that he thinks you're looking for a relationship but is willing to meet up and see is just his way of saying, "You want a boyfriend, and I'm not into that, but once we meet up, I bet I can manipulate you into wanting to bone down here and again and keeping you on a string." Yeah good point! Update: I've discussed it with him and the thing he says is that at this point he's a bit scared of commitment because of previous relationships. He did admit that he does feel a connection with me and that I'm his type of girl. At this point I've friendzoned him, I enjoy our conversations but that's it. I want someone, who's ready to be in a relationship not a player. On to the next!
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 That's the thing, he only told me that he doesn't know if he is the bf type of guy BUT he is looking for something serious in the end. I agree with you though and have discussed this with him. Yeah good point! Update: I've discussed it with him and the thing he says is that at this point he's a bit scared of commitment because of previous relationships. He did admit that he does feel a connection with me and that I'm his type of girl. At this point I've friendzoned him, I enjoy our conversations but that's it. I want someone, who's ready to be in a relationship not a player. On to the next! How on earth can he possibly come to this conclusion when he's never even met you? He's full of crap and he knows it; he's just hoping you will fall for it. Good job friend=zoning him. I can guarantee he is not looking for the same things you are.
MzLady Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Uggzzz... he's running the "but you may be the game changer" game on you. You're not the one... if he felt any type of respect for you, he wouldn't have been sending dick pics from the get go. You're a challenge to him right now.. just be careful...
Author Fuerza Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 How on earth can he possibly come to this conclusion when he's never even met you? He's full of crap and he knows it; he's just hoping you will fall for it. Good job friend=zoning him. I can guarantee he is not looking for the same things you are. Yeah completely agree, he just thinks that because we have lots of things in common I guess. He did say that we should meet up first and see from there if there's a click. But that's just not happening. Uggzzz... he's running the "but you may be the game changer" game on you. You're not the one... if he felt any type of respect for you, he wouldn't have been sending dick pics from the get go. You're a challenge to him right now.. just be careful... Yup that's how it felt to me too, which is super annoying. Why be careful, do you think he'll go to extremes to win his "challenge prize"?
ExpatInItaly Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Yeah completely agree, he just thinks that because we have lots of things in common I guess. He did say that we should meet up first and see from there if there's a click. But that's just not happening. Yup that's how it felt to me too, which is super annoying. Why be careful, do you think he'll go to extremes to win his "challenge prize"? I think this poster meant for you to be careful not to fall for his lines, because you'd probably get hurt.
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