Do you think uncertainties are really the driving force for love?

[casey.lives]

I think that: when it's meant to be, it's just meant to be. Sometimes people don't come into our lives to reflect the love we have in us, but the hate or indifference. It happens as it happens.

[Qboro90]

You never read my article I wrote for a website:

 

Here is an article I wrote:

 

As humans, we lack the ability to accurately see the future. We only know the present and what has already happened in the past. In life we take risks everyday not knowing 100% certainty what the outcome would be. We can make educational guesses and be almost certain, but again, we can never 100% know what the result is. Life throws surprises at us from time to time.

 

This same principal applies to relationships and love. Imagine back when you had your very first boyfriend or girlfriend. You probably endured hardships with each other which eventually resulted in a breakup. But if you were able to accurately see the future and know that you could overcome those hardships and live a very happy life together, you may have rethought your decision to breakup in the first place. Thus, eliminating your desire to date other people and ultimately never meeting the significant other you are currently with.

 

Now, you are probably thinking, "well I can't imagine not being with my current SO." But remember you can never grieve what you never had in the first place. The underlying reason why you moved on to date other people is because life is unknown. You only know what you have experienced so far. You seek better outcomes not really knowing what lies on the other side. You only can hope and convince yourself what options are good based on what you have already endured.

 

Now, this is really going to throw you off. The events that happens in the present dictates future outcomes. You may look at an ex now and think, "how did I like him in the first place?" People do change, some for the better and some for the worst. But how do you know if you would of stayed with him back then that the person you see now might be different? How do you know that if you stayed with him or her in the first place that he or she could of turned out to be an ultra attractive and charming person different than what you see now? This, you will never know. Because you chose a different path in life.

 

So, if we had the devine power to see the future, you may never be with the person you are with now. You may still be with an ex and be having a happier life and not even know it or you could be with someone else. Or...you could still be with the person you are with now.

 

I did read it. I wish I could have the 2 minutes it took to read through it back in my life. If I could go back and see the future and know that reading that article would be a giant waste of time I would've never read it and I would be much happier. Why you want to continue riding this merry go round of completely useless hypotheticals and "what ifs" is beyond me.

 

When everyone tells you that you need therapy and are obsessing about something at an alarming rate... What's that tell you?

[MidwestUSA]

I did read it. I wish I could have the 2 minutes it took to read through it back in my life. If I could go back and see the future and know that reading that article would be a giant waste of time I would've never read it and I would be much happier. Why you want to continue riding this merry go round of completely useless hypotheticals and "what ifs" is beyond me.

 

When everyone tells you that you need therapy and are obsessing about something at an alarming rate... What's that tell you?

 

If you read post #14, you may see that there's a failure to listen? Or comprehend? Not sure which.

 

Thank you for properly contacting 'would have'.

[loverage21]

If you read post #14, you may see that there's a failure to listen? Or comprehend? Not sure which.

 

Thank you for properly contacting 'would have'.

 

What I am saying is love for your partner is "false love" because there is potential to have had greater love elsewhere but you never experienced that and therefore, it is unknown to you.

[loverage21]

And I am feeling suicidal again

[loverage21]

Let's say you have door #1 and door #2. Each door leads to different paths in life. But you don't know what is behind either of these doors. But once you choose a door and enter it, you will never know what is behind the other door. The sequence of events that happen behind door #1 run parallel to the events that occur behind door #2, but it is a different path that you will never know.

So you choose door #1. Behind door #1 you meet the love of your life. You can't imagine being with anyone else.

But behind door #2, there was the love of your life that was better, but since you chose door #1, you would never know that so you just go by with what you have in that moment.

 

This goes with my "uncertainties theory"

 

Calling this the "door theory"

Edited December 29, 2015 by loverage21

[dichotomy]

Some call it the multiverse. Each and every choice you can make, or that can happen - does happen - resulting in different you's and different lives you live - branching out in infinite realities. Many doors, many loves, many losses.

 

Whoa....

[newmoon]

i just watched If/Then... same thing. tons of movies and shows and plays and books all explore this idea. we all could have been, if only.. but you can't move forward in life living in regret or the land of what-if. gigs syndrome.

[loverage21]

i just watched If/Then... same thing. tons of movies and shows and plays and books all explore this idea. we all could have been, if only.. but you can't move forward in life living in regret or the land of what-if. gigs syndrome.

 

But the love you feel for your current love is "false love" because you wouldn't be having these feelings for your current SO if everything worked out with your ex. You wouldn't have explored other options, thus, you wouldn't of met your current SO.

 

You can only hope it wouldn't of worked out with an ex.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Now imagine, if only for just a moment or two,

that time was not finite, but rather, a 'pointer' to you,

in a dimension that where your 'realities' are a choice,

in which you are privy to each doors' contents and voice!

[Buck Turgidson]

But the love you feel for your current love is "false love" because you wouldn't be having these feelings for your current SO if everything worked out with your ex.

 

Total nonsense. The feelings you feel for your current partner are true feelings because they exist. What might have been in another universe has no bearing whatsoever on the "truthfulness" of your feelings.

[loverage21]

i just watched If/Then... same thing. tons of movies and shows and plays and books all explore this idea. we all could have been, if only.. but you can't move forward in life living in regret or the land of what-if. gigs syndrome.

 

But the fact that if you had the ability to know what was behind door #1 and door #2, you would select the most appealing. But you make a choice based on the unknown, and while you selected a door with a good outcome, you may have a better outcome with the other door. But you wouldn't know that.

 

My crush and the girl I dated very short term, Alexa, if her bf would of known what had happened was a misunderstanding, they would likely still be together today. But even if not, it is a 50/50 chance.

[GingerVixen]

Life is about making choices and dealing with their possible consequences. If you're not ready for the consequences you're not ready to be an adult.

[loverage21]

Life is about making choices and dealing with their possible consequences. If you're not ready for the consequences you're not ready to be an adult.

 

But the love your partner has for you is "false" if the potential of love can be better elsewhere and he doesn't know.

[GingerVixen]

But the love your partner has for you is "false" if the potential of love can be better elsewhere and he doesn't know.

 

Well IMO this is an unhealthy extrapolation of the grass is greener syndrome. You can never be happy if you're always wondering if you'd be happier doing something else or dating someone else.

 

Just live the moment and stop wondering

[Got it]

But the love your partner has for you is "false" if the potential of love can be better elsewhere and he doesn't know.

 

No. That isn't true. It isn't false. With your logic it may not be the "strongest" but it doesn't make it false.

 

And if love isn't real until you have exhausted all potential for better love out there then no one is truly in love as the potential is always there. Statistically we would be able to love multiple people if we could meet the world's population, so there are many people you will love, albeit in different ways/degrees.

[Got it]

And I am feeling suicidal again

 

Get professional help.

[loverage21]

No. That isn't true. It isn't false. With your logic it may not be the "strongest" but it doesn't make it false.

 

And if love isn't real until you have exhausted all potential for better love out there then no one is truly in love as the potential is always there. Statistically we would be able to love multiple people if we could meet the world's population, so there are many people you will love, albeit in different ways/degrees.

 

But if you knew ahead of time that if you and your ex could of had a successful relationship in the first place despite all the hardships, then you would of never gone on to loving other people, thus you would of never met your current SO.

[loverage21]

Get professional help.

 

 

I am on meds.

 

What should I do? Be hospitalized again?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

And I am feeling suicidal again

 

I am on meds.

 

What should I do? Be hospitalized again?

 

Yes, if you are feeling suicidal you need to get help.

[loveflower]

For God sake! Can you please just forget about love and relationship? at least for awhile...

 

do some excises, such as gym, swim, snow sports...that will do you wonder for both physical and mental health. and find a hobbit.

 

just live life on your own, and forget about the opposite sex for awhile?

 

man, I thought I was obsessed, but you are over the top!

[Got it]

But if you knew ahead of time that if you and your ex could of had a successful relationship in the first place despite all the hardships, then you would of never gone on to loving other people, thus you would of never met your current SO.

 

again no. What you deem successful and what I do are two totally different things. Staying with him, even when we were at our best, would have been ultimately settling. I never loved him with the depth I love my husband now. It just didn't happen even as teens.

 

We were successful for all intents and purposes for most of our relationship. At least based on your standards. It wasn't enough for me.

[Got it]

And yes, if you are on meds and still feeling suicidal then you need to call the emergency line for your therapist and go to the hospital. You are not healthy and it is very discerning that the meds have not helped you at all with your obsession. You need to be very honest with your therapist and let him/her know what you are thinking/doing.

 

I hope you commit to yourself the care and love you desire.

[loverage21]

I never loved him with the depth I love my husband now. It just didn't happen even as teens. [/Quote]

 

But what if you can have part of both? You may have not loved your teen boyfriend as much back then but how do you know you wouldn't have loved him now just as much as you love your current husband? You don't.

 

Except with one, you were able to experience adolescence together and with the other, you didn't.

[clia]

But what if you can have part of both? You may have not loved your teen boyfriend as much back then but how do you know you wouldn't have loved him now just as much as you love your current husband? You don't.

 

Except with one, you were able to experience adolescence together and with the other, you didn't.

 

Who cares about experiencing adolescence together? Twenty or thirsty years from now you will barely remember your adolescence.

 

Are you really trying to impress us all with the newfangled idea that we can't see into the future? It's cute how you seem to think no one has ever realized that before, or that the decisions we make dictate the outcome and can change our lives. Robert Frost even wrote a poem about it!