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Do you think uncertainties are really the driving force for love?

loverage21

By loverage21
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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Or just about anything in life.

 

Think about this scenerio. If you knew what the future holds and you knew that you and your now ex could of had a successful relationship, would there be a breakup in the first place? Would you ultimately have never loved your current SO?

 

Another example. The situation with my crush Alexa. If she and her ex knew what had happened between them was a misunderstanding and they knew if they stuck it out that they could of made it work, wouldn't it thus eliminate the outcomes of her dating other people?

 

So in another sense, she could of had a better outcome staying with her ex but doesn't know that because of a committment to another SO.

 

Make sense?

TheArtist Established Member

TheArtist

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You mean like fate? That we all have a path? I like to think we're in control of what where we end up and who with, which would mean that your ex would also have control of where they end up and who they're with.

 

I know what you mean though, that if that girl had just wanted it to work a little harder, then you wouldn't be with the love of your life now. I get it.

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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You mean like fate? That we all have a path? I like to think we're in control of what where we end up and who with, which would mean that your ex would also have control of where they end up and who they're with.

 

I know what you mean though, that if that girl had just wanted it to work a little harder, then you wouldn't be with the love of your life now. I get it.

 

Not even just that.

 

If you had the devine power to accurately see the future, and you know if you stick with that person despite having a low point in the relationship, that you will likely be just as happy if not happier staying with that person...would you even bother dating other people?

 

Do you believe things happen for a reason OR do you think that we unknowingly leave something (like a relationship) that has the potential but just don't know it?

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Not even just that.

 

If you had the devine power to accurately see the future, and you know if you stick with that person despite having a low point in the relationship, that you will likely be just as happy if not happier staying with that person...would you even bother dating other people?

 

Do you believe things happen for a reason OR do you think that we unknowingly leave something (like a relationship) that has the potential but just don't know it?

 

O...M....G, the same question being asked in a different form :rolleyes: - but I'll bite.

 

No, none of us know what the future holds. We also sorta don't have control of it - to a point.

 

If you believe in God, then you believe you have a pre-ordained path. But, you still have "free will". So, when do you know if God has His hands on the steering wheel instead of you? Hard to know. All you can do is try your best to make informed decisions in life.

 

Now when it comes to God, what I "do" believe is that when you keep on trying something and/or going down a certain path and it ain't working - that may be a sign God wants you to go into a different way. Like for the longest I've been trying to get X job and I can't. I was offered said job, after fighting for it so long - then I sat down, did the "pro's/con's" and realized that it was not in my best interests to take that job. So, I guess it took me a long time of "stubborn" to figure out that God didn't want that job for me cuz God knows best...That's why some people literally say and believe in "putting it in God's hands" and pray for His guidance when it comes to life.

 

In life, regardless if God or you is in control - fact is when you make "one" decision, you GAIN something(s) and you LOSE something(s). In other words, if Alexa stays with her bf - despite their issues - she may lose out on a guy who wouldn't have those "issues" they had (her LOSS - if staying with him). But, at the same flip of the coin, she and this guy will work it out and move past their "issues" (her GAIN - if staying with him).

 

Another example?

 

A woman who decides to have kids straight out of college - she may lose out on starting her career, but, at least she'll get having kids out of the way while she's still young and when the kids get older, she can go back to school.

 

Now, if that same woman put off having kids straight out of college and decided to pursue her career - probably by the time she's ready to settle down (30s) her fertility is dropping and guys don't find her as dateable as when she was in her 20's.

 

So again, in life - everytime we make a decision - we gain and lose "something" and often time(s) we won't know it until we make the decision. But the beautiful thing about life is, we have the ability to seek out knowledge before we make a particular decision...So, if you're considering marrying someone, take the time to get to know them and don't rush into anything - so you minimize your "risk" in making a bad decision. And still, if you flub up and make a bad decision? Don't stick around and make it worst. If you married too young, to the wrong person, etc...don't have ten kids with them...cut your losses once you figure out you made a mistake and move on.

 

Ever hear of that saying: "When one door closes, another one opens..."?

Edited by Gloria25
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Got it Established Member

Got it

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I don't understand the point of the question. There is no way to know that, so why worry about it? Life is not meant to be spent looking backwards. If I could predict the future with the ex then I could predict the future with my current SO and I would have seen the level of love, attraction, and connection I have with him that I didn't have with my ex husband. The love I have with current SO is unprecedented and only rivaled by the love I have for my new daughter.

 

To have been able to see this future would have dropped me to my knees i the best way possible. No matter how great things were with my ex, no matter how high the high to ever compare.

 

What you are asking for is comparing apples to oranges.

 

And why the need to have this come true? Why does this sit on you so much? This is not healthy.

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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I don't understand the point of the question. There is no way to know that, so why worry about it? Life is not meant to be spent looking backwards. If I could predict the future with the ex then I could predict the future with my current SO and I would have seen the level of love, attraction, and connection I have with him that I didn't have with my ex husband. The love I have with current SO is unprecedented and only rivaled by the love I have for my new daughter.

 

To have been able to see this future would have dropped me to my knees i the best way possible. No matter how great things were with my ex, no matter how high the high to ever compare.

 

What you are asking for is comparing apples to oranges.

 

And why the need to have this come true? Why does this sit on you so much? This is not healthy.

 

Take it back even FURTHER than that. Let's say BEFORE you broke up with your ex husband you could foresee the future and know that if you stuck it out you two would be happy together. You would of chose to stick with him and you would of not met your current husband or had your current kids. But that would of been OK because you would of stuck it out with your ex knowing everything would of been all good

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Take it back even FURTHER than that. Let's say BEFORE you broke up with your ex husband you could foresee the future and know that if you stuck it out you two would be happy together. You would of chose to stick with him and you would of not met your current husband or had your current kids. But that would of been OK because you would of stuck it out with your ex knowing everything would of been all good

 

There are degrees of 'happy and successful' in relationships.

 

I could possibly have ended up moderately happy with my ex had a crystal ball told me it would work out. But short of him having a personality transplant, there is simply no way I could have been as happy with him as I am with my now husband.

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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There are degrees of 'happy and successful' in relationships.

 

I could possibly have ended up moderately happy with my ex had a crystal ball told me it would work out. But short of him having a personality transplant, there is simply no way I could have been as happy with him as I am with my now husband.

 

But how do you know his personality could of actually been better if you wouldnt of left him in the first place? How do you know things could of been better than you think if you would of stuck with him in the longrun? You don't! That is where the uncertainty comes in.

 

But what if you could of actually had a better relationship with him then than you do with your current SO? But instead, you wouldn't know that because of how life played out afterwards. Therefore, while the love you may be experiencing with your current SO might be real, it is based on the unknown and because the potentially better outcome never played out.

 

The chances? Probably very slim. But it is still a chance. Even if it is only 0.0000001% likely. And instead, you are throwing away a potentially better outcome and don't even know it.

 

Thus, you are living life in the unknown with uncertainties abound.

Edited by loverage21
basil67 Established Member

basil67

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But how do you know his personality could of actually been better if you wouldnt of left him in the first place? How do you know things could of been better than you think if you would of stuck with him in the longrun? You don't! That is where the uncertainty comes in.

 

But what if you could of actually had a better relationship with him then than you do with your current SO? But instead, you wouldn't know that because of how life played out afterwards. Therefore, while the love you may be experiencing with your current SO might be real, it is based on the unknown and because the potentially better outcome never played out.

 

The chances? Probably very slim. But it is still a chance. Even if it is only 0.0000001% likely. And instead, you are throwing away a potentially better outcome and don't even know it.

 

Thus, you are living life in the unknown with uncertainties abound.

 

I know it wouldn't have been better because he would have required a personality transplant. And because 24 years later, I've heard through the grapevine that his personality traits which drove me away still exist.

 

Also, I am not a gambler. I wouldn't stick around for a 10% chance - let alone a 0.000001% chance.

Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

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No. Uncertainties are not the driving force in love. I can guarantee this. :bunny::bunny:

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Take it back even FURTHER than that. Let's say BEFORE you broke up with your ex husband you could foresee the future and know that if you stuck it out you two would be happy together. You would of chose to stick with him and you would of not met your current husband or had your current kids. But that would of been OK because you would of stuck it out with your ex knowing everything would of been all good

 

Shoulda........coulda........woulda.......

 

 

Its either good or its not...Works or it doesn't....I could go to a restaurant and order a nice steak dinner and be satisfied, or I could think what if I went to another place, maybe its better....

 

You are driving yourself nuts over this, man....

 

TFY

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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Shoulda........coulda........woulda.......

 

 

Its either good or its not...Works or it doesn't....I could go to a restaurant and order a nice steak dinner and be satisfied, or I could think what if I went to another place, maybe its better....

 

You are driving yourself nuts over this, man....

 

TFY

 

Actually, if OP were to take anything away from this, he should learn that it's either 'should have', or 'should've'.

 

If I see 'should of', 'would of', or 'could of' one more time. Argh. Granted, he's not the only one here who does it, but there's nothing else he'll take away from here. He needs serious help.

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Shoulda........coulda........woulda.......

 

Its either good or its not...Works or it doesn't....I could go to a restaurant and order a nice steak dinner and be satisfied, or I could think what if I went to another place, maybe its better....

 

You are driving yourself nuts over this, man....

 

TFY

 

Lol....

 

They actually had a Sex and the City episode with that title (Coulda, woulda, shoulda...). And not sure if it was this episode or another, but Carrie looked up some guy she made out with in high school. Guess where he ended up at/as? A waiter who couldn't even really remember her. So, I guess she dodged that bullet!!!:laugh:

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Actually, if OP were to take anything away from this, he should learn that it's either 'should have', or 'should've'.

 

If I see 'should of', 'would of', or 'could of' one more time. Argh. Granted, he's not the only one here who does it, but there's nothing else he'll take away from here. He needs serious help.

 

What I am saying is that if there was a possibility to see the future accurately I guarentee relationship outcomes would be much much different.

 

It is either you choose path A or path B. If you choose one path you can't know exactly what it would of been like if you chose the other. You can only guess or be only 99% certain but you can never be 100% certain.

 

And then you meet that ex later in life and be like "yea I shouldny of stayed with him, he became a train wreck" but you never know. He might of been the most attractive guy if you hadn't of left him.in the first place.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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And then you meet that ex later in life and be like "yea I shouldny of stayed with him, he became a train wreck" but you never know. He might of been the most attractive guy if you hadn't of left him.in the first place.

 

My ex became an even worse trainwreck after I left him. I took it as proof that leaving was the right decision. If he lacks the resilience to a) address relationship issues while I'm still there.....and then b) falls apart because the relationship ended then he's a very poor bet for future life.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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What I am saying is that if there was a possibility to see the future accurately I guarentee relationship outcomes would be much much different.

 

It is either you choose path A or path B. If you choose one path you can't know exactly what it would of been like if you chose the other. You can only guess or be only 99% certain but you can never be 100% certain.

 

And then you meet that ex later in life and be like "yea I shouldny of stayed with him, he became a train wreck" but you never know. He might of been the most attractive guy if you hadn't of left him.in the first place.

 

Not enough facepalms. Sorry.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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Take it back even FURTHER than that. Let's say BEFORE you broke up with your ex husband you could foresee the future and know that if you stuck it out you two would be happy together. You would of chose to stick with him and you would of not met your current husband or had your current kids. But that would of been OK because you would of stuck it out with your ex knowing everything would of been all good

 

No I wouldn't have. Sure I may have been happy with him but as happy? No. So if I could see into the future in that one area then I could see into the future in my other relationship as well, as I could see the future.

 

You seem to see happiness as one level. And it isn't like that. I was happy with my ex but never at the level or the depth I am with my husband. So sure, it was good enough, and could have stayed good enough, but I wasn't willing to settle for good enough any longer.

 

Again you want to twist reality, situations and behavior to back end into this final scenario and I can't figure out why? Life is always about what door you open and what ones you leave closed but if you spend your life focused on the unopened doors you are never truly living your life.

 

I will say again, no matter what hypothesis you put out there, I will NEVER want to have stayed with my ex, I would never have been as happy and will NEVER regret divorcing. We were good, things were compatible but life is too short for that. And I am so much happier where I am now then having stayed together as is he. Neither of us would want what you continue to try and push.

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brightstars New Member

brightstars

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Let's say that a couple is having a break up but they know they will be together again after two years. Even if they knew it during that time if they have different needs they won't choose to be into a bad relationship. They won't be able in the current situation to know how they will be feeling in the future because they will only feel confusion and have negative emotions at that time. The problems that caused the break up would still be there. We shouldn't also forget the experiences and maturity of people. People constantly change and after two years they would have different experiences which may lead them to different choices so it really depends on the situation and the circumstances as also on the personality and experiences of each person.

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Let's say that a couple is having a break up but they know they will be together again after two years. Even if they knew it during that time if they have different needs they won't choose to be into a bad relationship. They won't be able in the current situation to know how they will be feeling in the future because they will only feel confusion and have negative emotions at that time. The problems that caused the break up would still be there. We shouldn't also forget the experiences and maturity of people. People constantly change and after two years they would have different experiences which may lead them to different choices so it really depends on the situation and the circumstances as also on the personality and experiences of each person.

 

Yeah, it's like the Butterfly Effect and Project Almanac movies - try to go back in time and do a "repeat" on things cuz you know the future and you mess up something else.

 

But seriously, I just looked at the title of this thread again - I'm sorry, but I don't jump into a pool "hoping" there's water at the bottom. I better see a full pool of water before I jump. In other words, "uncertainties" should NEVER be the driving force in dating someone - much less marrying and/or having kids with them.

 

Yes, when you decide to be with someone you sorta take a "leap of faith", but you take that leap of faith based on the time you took to get to know that person. In other words, you take time to properly "date" them for 1 1/2 - 2 years (not shacking up, being friends, co-workers, LDR), so when you decide to take that leap of faith, you know enough about them to sorta be able to "predict" how it will turn out.

 

So, in the case of Alexa and her ex-bf...they met/dated when they were "kids/teenagers" what in the world would they know about each other and life to make an informed decision and/or actions to make it work in the long run? IMO, all those "high school/college sweethearts" survive cuz they jump into having kids and starting a family - not cuz there's an actual "connection" between them. So, one day when the kids are 18, up and out - oh, they wanna blame "Mid-life crisis" for divorcing when in fact they married w/o really the marriage about wanting each other for the long run and/or got lazy and didn't "nurture" the marriage/RL (i.e date nites).

 

So based on your theory, sorry, Alexa would have less than 1% chances of rekindling with her ex-bf and working it out - regardless if they stayed together from their high school times. Why? CUZ THEY WERE KIDS. Now as adults, they more than likely are not even the same person. They probably wouldn't even want to date each other. But yea, if they try to unite based on the malarky fantasy/nostalgia that this thread and your other threads are based on - even "if" they kick it off - it won't last for long once reality sets in.

 

I'm done, I'm really done with these threads...it's the same question being asked over and over. People have posted their experiences/opinions - yet the OP won't make a decision either way. So, I guess we can expect endless threads asking the same stuff over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.....

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Yeah, it's like the Butterfly Effect and Project Almanac movies - try to go back in time and do a "repeat" on things cuz you know the future and you mess up something else.

 

But seriously, I just looked at the title of this thread again - I'm sorry, but I don't jump into a pool "hoping" there's water at the bottom. I better see a full pool of water before I jump. In other words, "uncertainties" should NEVER be the driving force in dating someone - much less marrying and/or having kids with them.

 

Yes, when you decide to be with someone you sorta take a "leap of faith", but you take that leap of faith based on the time you took to get to know that person. In other words, you take time to properly "date" them for 1 1/2 - 2 years (not shacking up, being friends, co-workers, LDR), so when you decide to take that leap of faith, you know enough about them to sorta be able to "predict" how it will turn out.

 

So, in the case of Alexa and her ex-bf...they met/dated when they were "kids/teenagers" what in the world would they know about each other and life to make an informed decision and/or actions to make it work in the long run? IMO, all those "high school/college sweethearts" survive cuz they jump into having kids and starting a family - not cuz there's an actual "connection" between them. So, one day when the kids are 18, up and out - oh, they wanna blame "Mid-life crisis" for divorcing when in fact they married w/o really the marriage about wanting each other for the long run and/or got lazy and didn't "nurture" the marriage/RL (i.e date nites).

 

So based on your theory, sorry, Alexa would have less than 1% chances of rekindling with her ex-bf and working it out - regardless if they stayed together from their high school times. Why? CUZ THEY WERE KIDS. Now as adults, they more than likely are not even the same person. They probably wouldn't even want to date each other. But yea, if they try to unite based on the malarky fantasy/nostalgia that this thread and your other threads are based on - even "if" they kick it off - it won't last for long once reality sets in.

 

I'm done, I'm really done with these threads...it's the same question being asked over and over. People have posted their experiences/opinions - yet the OP won't make a decision either way. So, I guess we can expect endless threads asking the same stuff over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.....

 

What I am saying is that life in itself is built on uncertainties and the unknown. We don't 100% know what the future holds. We can only know what happens in the present moment and what has already happened.

 

If we could accurately see the future and know that the person we are with now is the best despite current hardships, there would be no need to break up and date other people.

 

Now, we could predict the future based on likelihoods, but we can never be 100% certain about anything in life.

 

How do you know that if you would of stuck it out with an ex that the future with him wouldn't be the best? You can guess based on what you see now, but you never fully know.

 

It is like this: a boy and a girl date when they are in high school. They break up. The girl marries another guy. 40 years down the road she finds out the guy she dated in high is school is charming and a millionaire. She would of never guessed that back when she was younger.

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Here is an article I wrote:

 

As humans, we lack the ability to accurately see the future. We only know the present and what has already happened in the past. In life we take risks everyday not knowing 100% certainty what the outcome would be. We can make educational guesses and be almost certain, but again, we can never 100% know what the result is. Life throws surprises at us from time to time.

 

This same principal applies to relationships and love. Imagine back when you had your very first boyfriend or girlfriend. You probably endured hardships with each other which eventually resulted in a breakup. But if you were able to accurately see the future and know that you could overcome those hardships and live a very happy life together, you may have rethought your decision to breakup in the first place. Thus, eliminating your desire to date other people and ultimately never meeting the significant other you are currently with.

 

Now, you are probably thinking, "well I can't imagine not being with my current SO." But remember you can never grieve what you never had in the first place. The underlying reason why you moved on to date other people is because life is unknown. You only know what you have experienced so far. You seek better outcomes not really knowing what lies on the other side. You only can hope and convince yourself what options are good based on what you have already endured.

 

Now, this is really going to throw you off. The events that happens in the present dictates future outcomes. You may look at an ex now and think, "how did I like him in the first place?" People do change, some for the better and some for the worst. But how do you know if you would of stayed with him back then that the person you see now might be different? How do you know that if you stayed with him or her in the first place that he or she could of turned out to be an ultra attractive and charming person different than what you see now? This, you will never know. Because you chose a different path in life.

 

So, if we had the devine power to see the future, you may never be with the person you are with now. You may still be with an ex and be having a happier life and not even know it or you could be with someone else. Or...you could still be with the person you are with now.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Here is an article I wrote:

 

As humans, we lack the ability to accurately see the future. We only know the present and what has already happened in the past. In life we take risks everyday not knowing 100% certainty what the outcome would be. We can make educational guesses and be almost certain, but again, we can never 100% know what the result is. Life throws surprises at us from time to time.

 

This same principal applies to relationships and love. Imagine back when you had your very first boyfriend or girlfriend. You probably endured hardships with each other which eventually resulted in a breakup. But if you were able to accurately see the future and know that you could overcome those hardships and live a very happy life together, you may have rethought your decision to breakup in the first place. Thus, eliminating your desire to date other people and ultimately never meeting the significant other you are currently with.

 

Now, you are probably thinking, "well I can't imagine not being with my current SO." But remember you can never grieve what you never had in the first place. The underlying reason why you moved on to date other people is because life is unknown. You only know what you have experienced so far. You seek better outcomes not really knowing what lies on the other side. You only can hope and convince yourself what options are good based on what you have already endured.

 

Now, this is really going to throw you off. The events that happens in the present dictates future outcomes. You may look at an ex now and think, "how did I like him in the first place?" People do change, some for the better and some for the worst. But how do you know if you would of stayed with him back then that the person you see now might be different? How do you know that if you stayed with him or her in the first place that he or she could of turned out to be an ultra attractive and charming person different than what you see now? This, you will never know. Because you chose a different path in life.

 

So, if we had the devine power to see the future, you may never be with the person you are with now. You may still be with an ex and be having a happier life and not even know it or you could be with someone else. Or...you could still be with the person you are with now.

 

Well please, will you get back with this Alexa and let us be?!?

 

YES, she was your high school sweetheart and you missed out on her. If you continue to second guess it, you're gonna miss out on the best thing ever PLEASE GET BACK WITH HER AND STOP ASKING ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER!!!

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Well please, will you get back with this Alexa and let us be?!?

 

YES, she was your high school sweetheart and you missed out on her. If you continue to second guess it, you're gonna miss out on the best thing ever PLEASE GET BACK WITH HER AND STOP ASKING ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER!!!

 

She is NOT my high school sweetheart. I didn't meet her until I was 21 and she was 18. I never knew her before that. I was upset when I found out she had someone else as a high school sweetheart.

 

This is not about Alexa. This is a deep thought that just came to my mind.

Qboro90 Established Member

Qboro90

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What I am saying is that if there was a possibility to see the future accurately I guarentee relationship outcomes would be much much different.

 

It is either you choose path A or path B. If you choose one path you can't know exactly what it would of been like if you chose the other. You can only guess or be only 99% certain but you can never be 100% certain.

 

And then you meet that ex later in life and be like "yea I shouldny of stayed with him, he became a train wreck" but you never know. He might of been the most attractive guy if you hadn't of left him.in the first place.

 

Whoo the hell caressss!!!? No **** life would be different if people could accurately tell the future. Did you just realize that? The entire point of life is that we are defined by the decisions we make and how we learn from them if it's the wrong decision.

 

If I answered question 72 on my SAT's with B instead of C then my grade would've been 10 points higher which could've made the difference in me getting accepted into a different college. Which therefore would've changed the entire course of my life and the people in it. If I had a pop tart for breakfast instead of a donut, maybe I wouldn't have stopped to use the restroom on my way to work. Maybe if I didn't stop I would've been in a fatal car accident and died.

 

What the heck do you want to get out of this thread? That it'd be nice to tell the future? Great. Move on.

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Whoo the hell caressss!!!? No **** life would be different if people could accurately tell the future. Did you just realize that? The entire point of life is that we are defined by the decisions we make and how we learn from them if it's the wrong decision.

 

If I answered question 72 on my SAT's with B instead of C then my grade would've been 10 points higher which could've made the difference in me getting accepted into a different college. Which therefore would've changed the entire course of my life and the people in it. If I had a pop tart for breakfast instead of a donut, maybe I wouldn't have stopped to use the restroom on my way to work. Maybe if I didn't stop I would've been in a fatal car accident and died.

 

What the heck do you want to get out of this thread? That it'd be nice to tell the future? Great. Move on.

 

You never read my article I wrote for a website:

 

Here is an article I wrote:

 

As humans, we lack the ability to accurately see the future. We only know the present and what has already happened in the past. In life we take risks everyday not knowing 100% certainty what the outcome would be. We can make educational guesses and be almost certain, but again, we can never 100% know what the result is. Life throws surprises at us from time to time.

 

This same principal applies to relationships and love. Imagine back when you had your very first boyfriend or girlfriend. You probably endured hardships with each other which eventually resulted in a breakup. But if you were able to accurately see the future and know that you could overcome those hardships and live a very happy life together, you may have rethought your decision to breakup in the first place. Thus, eliminating your desire to date other people and ultimately never meeting the significant other you are currently with.

 

Now, you are probably thinking, "well I can't imagine not being with my current SO." But remember you can never grieve what you never had in the first place. The underlying reason why you moved on to date other people is because life is unknown. You only know what you have experienced so far. You seek better outcomes not really knowing what lies on the other side. You only can hope and convince yourself what options are good based on what you have already endured.

 

Now, this is really going to throw you off. The events that happens in the present dictates future outcomes. You may look at an ex now and think, "how did I like him in the first place?" People do change, some for the better and some for the worst. But how do you know if you would of stayed with him back then that the person you see now might be different? How do you know that if you stayed with him or her in the first place that he or she could of turned out to be an ultra attractive and charming person different than what you see now? This, you will never know. Because you chose a different path in life.

 

So, if we had the devine power to see the future, you may never be with the person you are with now. You may still be with an ex and be having a happier life and not even know it or you could be with someone else. Or...you could still be with the person you are with now.

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