DC77 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I've unwittingly sought advice from the woman my ex may have been sleeping with after me...Several months ago I went to a running race to cheer on the guy I was dating. He introduced me to an awesome group of women athletes that he trained with. A couple of us talked about training and hiking but I have not reached out to any of them out of respect for my now ex. He no longer lives anywhere close, so when another friend suggested doing a triathlon, this one gal came to mind to talk to about training. I have contacted her (haven't heard back yet but it is the holidays). But! I now have information that she has likely been sleeping with my ex and is in love with him. Talk about a well ***** moment... I'm actually still processing feelings for him and have been working to smooth things over for the sake of the mutual friends that we have. It has been very unusual that I haven't been able to remain amicable with an ex. This one has been different. He pushed me away saying he didn't have feelings for me, but has been hurt and upset that I left. He has been responsive when I contact him but still remains at a distance. But he did manage to wish me happy birthday. I felt like I was making slow progress with amiability and relieving tension in the group, and I was in a pretty good place about everything. Then I stumbled myself into this! And now that I look back, she may have even been pursuing him while we were still together. He always insisted he wasn't interested and that she was a training friend. But he would show me her texts and I know all too well how women operate...I am not 100% positive, but now it is all I can think about. I'm trying to wait for a response. It seems wrong to come out and ask but a part of me just wants to know!
Author DC77 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) I suppose I didn't ask any direct questions. Should I address this with her since I sent the email? Would it be wrong to ask? I found out looking up her services on FB. She's a personal trainer, and since we had conversed in the past, I tapped her for training. I admire her as an athlete but have to admit I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. Anger tht she may have pursued him while we were together. Doubt and insecurity in myself. It's tough not to compare myself to her. I feel like I don't measure up. I am the one that broke up with him, but because he said things that made it almost impossible for me to stay. And she seems to be so many of the things I wasn't. And I had asked friends if he was dating anyone. They said no, which I'm having feelings of betrayal if it's true. At this point it is speculation though. Names haven't been named but she has some very personal posts about dating and being dumped that sound way too much like my ex and align with the timing of his departure. And has used some of the same catch phrases that my ex would say. I know coincidence can exist, but... I'm feeling a lot if things and I'm having difficulty processing. Finding out your ex has/had a fling and you know her is bad enough. Reaching out to that person without knowing is even worse. Feeling like an azz. And a little low about myself. Words of encouragement are appreciated. Edited December 26, 2015 by DC77
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