QueenDafine Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) So lately I just got back with my ex who I used to be very in love with. When we first got back together things were so good and it was so good to be back with someone I'd been missing for a long time. However... things went downhill after the first fight we got into since reuniting and a lot of hurtful things were said. I was wiling to get over it and we completely forgave eachother but after that I was insecure and having doubts about his intentions and the health of the relationship itself. I ended up moving temporarily four hours away for my job and it's been about two months so far doing long distance ad things have been pretty bad. Our communication is really bad and it's mostly on my part. I've found that my doubts are getting bigger and bigger and the fact that he's so far away and I haven't seen him makes more time to let negative thoughts in. I can tell he's really trying to make this work and I do still want him but I can feel I'm slowly falling out of love with him.. my mind and my gut and my intuition is very strong and I just get bad feelings about our relationship.. we've been on about two breaks both lasting an average of a week because he just cannot go without talking to me and no matter how many times I tell him I wnat space he will always blow up my phone a few days later. And I reply because that person inside me doesn't want him feeling depressed about me. But it's all chewing me up and I feel like I can't possibly go on longer doing this. I have no idea why I feel like this but I cannot get it out of my head. I go hours without replying to him, even after he sends me 10 messages, whereas before I couldn't even go an hour without talking to him and I'd reply within seconds. I meann.. we havent spoken on the phone in two weeks. We make plans to but usually they dont happen because one of us is busy. I'm not sure what to do, to break it off with him or not because deep down I still wnat him and I don't want to lose him. I don't know if it's because he's just my main companion and has been for a long time or if I could just be going through a rough patch. I would like to express this to him but I feel like I've already put enough anxiety and burden into his feelings by being so distant, he's also going through a family crisis right now and he would blow up if I told him. I know he has an idea because he's becoming quite desperate which makes me feel really caged and uneasy. Asking for space isn't easy anymore because he just won't do it. I think my insecurities and doubts are eating me up. I know I should communicate them to him but I really don't think it's a good idea right now. I'm so confused on what to do.. Ps. Sorry about the title I was supposed to change that! Ahaha. Edited December 26, 2015 by QueenDafine
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 You say you still want him and don't want to lose him, but your behaviour indicates the exact opposite. I think you're not all that into him anymore and you feel like his presence and attempts to contact you is more of a nuisance at this point. Going on breaks and whatnot indicates that there is a bigger problem with compatibility. Time to break up for good, I think. 1
Author QueenDafine Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 I guess I have hope that we can fix this once I communicate this to him. Hope is the only thing that has kept us together this long.. I guess there more to it than that but yeah its definitely frustrating and stressful for me. I don't want to lose him, what I mean is I don't want him out of my life completly
ExpatInItaly Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I guess I have hope that we can fix this once I communicate this to him. Hope is the only thing that has kept us together this long.. I guess there more to it than that but yeah its definitely frustrating and stressful for me. I don't want to lose him, what I mean is I don't want him out of my life completly This isn't a good sign. It's not a good sign because it sounds like you don't communicate with him all that much to begin with. What steps do you feel need to be taken to rectify this? Avoiding his messages and only speaking on the phone every couple weeks isn't the way forward. You either want to fix it or you don't. But the way it's going now is going to kill any remaining connection.
Author QueenDafine Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Every time I try to speak to him about the relationship he gets really distant and won't wanna talk to me or have a tantrum. Besides the fact that he's going through alot right now I guess it's safe to say I don't communicate well with him at all and haven't been for a while and I guess I'm trying to avoid the problem by ignoring him. I just dont even trust him anymore. I feel like me ignoring him has pushed him to maybe go to another female for comfort because thats what he does.. and hes so selfish and constantly complains and always lies to me and can be extremely fake. There'sf mlre bad than good i cpuld list about him. It all just feels really toxic to me and I cant handle it anymore. I think we can fix this, when I see him in two weeks. If im not feeling it anymore after we see eachother I'll know what to do. I guess that's a last shot at our relationship.
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