katiegrl Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I think SNL should do a runnng skit on OLD ...that would be hilarious. Might call out people on their ridiculous behavior and how OLD has changed dating ...and not for the better. I see what you're saying though ...it seems hilarious ...but not for real world application. LOL...SNL did a spoof on texting, and how ridiculous much of it is ....with Eli Manning. Super funny, it's on You Tube (can't post the link from my tablet). Yeah, a spook on OLD would be super funny too!
The Way I Am Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Don't ask him to remove the profile. Don't waste your time on someone you have to force to do things with ultimatums - especially this soon. Test if what someone else said is true about updating FB pic updating your app profile. If your profile doesn't update by changing your fb profile, then you know he updated it on purpose (and will know it's a lie if he uses that as a reason and it's not the case). Ask him about why his profile changed and if he's still looking. If his answer doesn't mesh with what you want from him right now, tell him you two aren't on the same page and so it's time for you to move on. 2
IronZ Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 You're in her shopping cart. She's still shopping, though. She hasn't checked out yet, so, in the end, she might buy you or remove you from her cart and buy someone else. That's one way to put it.. lol. On my third date last night we actually grew a lot closer. That's how it felt anyway. Towards the end she got a lot closer to me physically. Held me, kissed me more. It really felt like we had a good connection. I'll see where it goes but it's definitely a bummer knowing she's still at the very least keeping her options open, considering it's going really well. Still, no reason to give up on something. We'll cross that bridge when we're ready to make the relationship thing official. OP - how did it end up going? Did you ask him about it?
Vilgefoz Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) I've been going on dates with a guy I met online for about 2.5 months. He's 23 years old and we met on Coffee Meets Bagel app. On our last date, we had a conversation about how we feel how things are headed. He said he's looking for a long-term relationship and that he really likes me and he hasn't seen anyone else since he started seeing me. He has also introduced me to one of his friends. I also told him I feel the same way about him and that I'm not interested in dating other people as well. Today I noticed he changed his profile picture on the dating app. I'm 100% sure he just changed it today because when I looked at his profile a few days ago, his pictures were still the same. We just had the conversation a couple of days ago and we have another date coming up. I don't know what to make of this. Should I confront him or let things be? We're not official yet but I thought he implied exclusivity with that last conversation we had. well, above all I think the guy should dump YOU 1) You are discussing him on public forum with anonymous people 2) After 2.5 month of knowing him you are considering dumping him for changing his profile picture. 3) on the top of that you are making witchy plans to create false account and lure him to the trap instead of...you know...talking to him directly, maybe? Men have word for such women (and those supporting these advice) - crazy. The is virtually female version of The Pickup Artist trash where narcissistic low-confidence person asks "I met a girl on party. She said she has BF but after a couple of drinks she is willing to touch. Should I bang her?" And the answers are "Hell yeah man! You are alpha male! Give her nice hump! If her BF was strong enough she would never let you do it. " The very same thing, just opposite gender. Immature. Bitter. Toxic. Edited December 28, 2015 by Vilgefoz
Xiomn Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) The real cynic in me would try to make plans with him on the same day of his date with the fake profile and watch what excuse he comes up with This OP. Create fake, message him, see if he tries to set up a date then message him trying to set up a date on the same day as fake profile lady and see what excuse he comes up with. If he talks BS leave that SOB. I would do it, because humans are curious creatures. Edited December 28, 2015 by Xiomn
Gaeta Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I think if a woman is inclined to do that....she should just dump him instead. Because, yes of course he is keeping options open and searching/dating other women, there is no other reason why (1) he would still be on line/have an active profile, and (b) change his photo. So save your energy setting up the fake profile, and just stop dating him. Always follow your gut. I am recently single, and my philosophy when dating will be, if I am insecure or troubled enough to create a thread on a message board, or entertaining the idea of creating a fake profile to catch him, something is terribly terribly wrong and it is best I just move on. Just me though. The fake profile thing would work, if you have a tendency to second guess yourself though. If he responds to it, you will know for sure. Me? Wouldn't need it. I have good instincts, and would just know by his actions and how he treats me. You do what is right for you. I 100% agree with you BUT some inexperienced women do not have that wisdom or strength to walk away on a hunch and need to have the cruel truth opened up in front of them. When I suggest to create a profile it's not to verify the man's worthiness, if he is online he isn't. I am suggesting to create a fake profile because I know that's what these women need to let go. They need to see it for themselves to let go. 1
loverboy69 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I've been going on dates with a guy I met online for about 2.5 months. He's 23 years old and we met on Coffee Meets Bagel app. On our last date, we had a conversation about how we feel how things are headed. He said he's looking for a long-term relationship and that he really likes me and he hasn't seen anyone else since he started seeing me. He has also introduced me to one of his friends. I also told him I feel the same way about him and that I'm not interested in dating other people as well. Today I noticed he changed his profile picture on the dating app. I'm 100% sure he just changed it today because when I looked at his profile a few days ago, his pictures were still the same. We just had the conversation a couple of days ago and we have another date coming up. I don't know what to make of this. Should I confront him or let things be? We're not official yet but I thought he implied exclusivity with that last conversation we had. He's keeping his options open. The guy is only 23 (still a baby in the grand scheme of things) and likely not ready to settle down. To be fair though you are still looking at the dating app so either you are keeping your options open too or just stalking his profile out of insecurity. He's probably still getting daily or weekly hits from other girls on the dating site as it is. Don't get confrontational with him. Things are too new. Once you guys are at the point when things are formally exclusive you both should turn off your dating profiles.
Gaeta Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 To be fair though you are still looking at the dating app so either you are keeping your options open too or just stalking his profile out of insecurity. None of the above. She's a smart woman aware of the BS happening online. She's looking out for herself. 1
GingerVixen Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I've been going on dates with a guy I met online for about 2.5 months. He's 23 years old and we met on Coffee Meets Bagel app. On our last date, we had a conversation about how we feel how things are headed. He said he's looking for a long-term relationship and that he really likes me and he hasn't seen anyone else since he started seeing me. He has also introduced me to one of his friends. I also told him I feel the same way about him and that I'm not interested in dating other people as well. Today I noticed he changed his profile picture on the dating app. I'm 100% sure he just changed it today because when I looked at his profile a few days ago, his pictures were still the same. We just had the conversation a couple of days ago and we have another date coming up. I don't know what to make of this. Should I confront him or let things be? We're not official yet but I thought he implied exclusivity with that last conversation we had. Girl... That may hurt or sound blunt but you're just dating the guy. You're not exclusive. You can't ask him for anything. He doesn't owe you anything. While I was dating a guy from OkCupid - ONLY DATING - I changed my profile picture a million times. If he ever confronted me about this that would be a major dealbreaker because DAMN I was not his girlfriend! We were only dating! However that may be a sign he is open to meeting other people besides you.... If you're not okay with this you're not ready for dating. Because if you're only dating someone you have to deal with the fact this person may be dating other people besides you.
The Way I Am Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 Girl... That may hurt or sound blunt but you're just dating the guy. You're not exclusive. You can't ask him for anything. He doesn't owe you anything. While I was dating a guy from OkCupid - ONLY DATING - I changed my profile picture a million times. If he ever confronted me about this that would be a major dealbreaker because DAMN I was not his girlfriend! We were only dating! However that may be a sign he is open to meeting other people besides you.... If you're not okay with this you're not ready for dating. Because if you're only dating someone you have to deal with the fact this person may be dating other people besides you. This is true. You can't make demands of him. (Tho even if you were exclusive, I don't believe in telling people what to do but instead making your wants and needs known then deciding how you want to respond if they don't meet those.) But not all of it is totally applicable in this case, OP because you had a talk with him that left you with the impression that you were about to be exclusive. So it's valid that you're alarmed by him still actively seeking other dates when you thought things were at a different stage. I don't think you have to be "officially" exclusive to be bothered enough to reconsider your options. Actively looking for new dates isn't consistent with developing the feelings that should be there when you become exclusive with someone and having talks with them suggesting it's leading to exclusivity. If you still want to date him, you need to at least talk to him to see if it feels like he deliberately misled you or if you two are not on the same page. Did you have that meet up you had scheduled?
Recommended Posts