My sister flirts with everyone i'm seeing

[Poutine]

Any time i bring my boyfriends home , my sister tries to flirt with them and try to exclude me and hurt me. Every since we were young she has always been trying to hurt me , saying things privately to me to hurt me. No one would know about it because she is very good at turning things around and acting all goodie good. She loves attention , and she gets it , because she is so good at acting everyone loves her. Which i am happy to her but she still bullies me. My childhood is scared , there is no one day that passes by without her bullying me and making me cry. Some general examples are like when i get a compliment from someone " oh you're getting better and better at drawing " she will be there to listen and play along , and then after when there is no one around , her true self will show and she will say " they said youre getting better and better not better than me so dont get so happy " she says all those stuff to hurt me.

 

Now that we re more grown up, she does it so that its so indirect. Like dissing me indirectly , it still bothers me that im the only victim and everyone else doenst see it , im not here to expose anything , but i just need to rant.

 

She loves attention so much that she will flirt with everyone im seeing. She will touch their arm and be like ouuu so big and muscular. And like heyyy can i add you on facebook. she does many many things so get their attention. When someone gives me more attention she naturally wants to take it away form me . thats what i feel like shes doing. She will try to exclude me from conversations while shes talking to my boyfriend and i. There is a fine line from being friend and being flirty or like over friendly. i just dont think she has good intentions.

 

I hurts me so bad but i love her so much because shes my sister. What can i do ? i tried to tell my boyfriend but because my sister is so good at acting is soo good , they wont realize that she used them to hurt me until its all done. Its so bad that im almost soo scared to bring my boyfriend to my parents house for family time.

 

When i do try to confront her about anything she makes me feel stupid because she so good at turning things around and getting herself out of trouble. Shes super good at arguing and making everything seem like its my problem, she is not a simple person at all.

 

does anyone have a similar situation? how did u overcome it ? if you can't fix it , how did you learn to ignore it and not let it bother you anymore?

[Snakechammah]

She sounds toxic and very manipulative. Some people are just born horrible.

 

How old are you both? You sound young.

 

Don't be a doormat to her. Stand up for yourself. The weak will bully the weaker. Don't be a weakling and be assertive. It's good for your all-round development. In future work and dating life too.

 

If you're young, well, learn to disengage whatever remarks she throws your way. Remember, no one can hurt us unless you let them. Don't let them. Brush it off and let it roll like water on duck's back.

 

If you're not young, why are you still living in your parents' place? Get out of there, get your own place, be independent! Remove yourself from her. The minute you get out of her negative energy, you will feel better. Don't include her in things/people that matters to you. Yes, she's family, but if she is detrimental to your well being and somewhat dangerous to your relationship with others, she's not worth to be called family.

 

I see a potential of her wanting to cheat with your future husband, just to "one-up" you. Protect yourself and your future relationship by staying away from her.

 

I wish you all the best!

[loveflower]

 

I hurts me so bad but i love her so much because shes my sister.

 

you are a saint. after my sis said some very hurtful things to me, I wouldn't want to see her again.

[Amalyn]

Sister or not... If my sister treated me like that, she would not be in my life anymore.

[Vilgefoz]

....

 

very interesting.

 

This is a little OT but I am single child and have no experience with siblings. But what you are saying strengthen my belief that Evolutionary Psychologist are closer to revealing true human nature than any other people. It is only natural for siblings to fight for attention - the more attention it gets, the more survival possibilities it gains...

 

Anyway, to the topic: I am sorry for your pain. People are telling you right, be assertive and learn to fight (in a decent way!) - tell what you want, don't let people around to push you. If your sister does something that is wrong, talk to people who have authority over her (your parents? teachers?) and force consequences.

 

 

Good luck!

 

V.

[The Way I Am]

Tell her as long as she continues to act that way, you won't be seeing her. Then stick to that.

 

Explain your actions to your parents so they don't think you're slighting them by not being around when she is. If they're unwilling to see your POV and support your decision, you're better off without them also.

 

 

On the bright side, you could use her as a creep detector for the guys you date. Prep them about how she acts and ask them not to give her attention. Any guy that doesn't politely remove themselves from her attention and focus on you after you've asked them to not fall for her game isn't worth your time.

[Poutrew]

OK, you have got to out-manipulate her. This is how to do it: find some shmuchk at work or school that you know wants a date, but that your don't like. Bring him home and let him meet your sister. Let her do her thing. Then when your friend leaves, tell her in the most hurt tone of voice you have :"Why did God make you so much more beautiful and smart than me? Please don't steal my boyfriend away..." Of course, she will try all the harder to do exactly that. Next, tell your friend when you see him next how much your sister likes him. Tell him you'd bet that if he gives her a call, that she'd go out with him.

 

 

Then, just step out of the way and let nature take it's course. If your sister says to you something like "Why aren't you fighting harder for your boyfriend?", tell her that you are just bowing to inevitability. They will get married and she will move away, and you will finally have her out of your life and stop having to listen to her... problem solved, and no one gets hurt in the process.

[sin miedo]

Do us all a favor and please leave her and move on.

 

Oh wait...