Bobbi7 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I was chatting with this on OLD, we exchanged a few messages, talked about meeting up-and we exchanged numbers. I have 3 current photos on my profile, my face is shown CLEARLY, so is my body. He starts insisting I send him a picture-I told him no, that I have 3 pictures on my profile-that he can see with his eyes, then he saids, "Silly, I need it for my contact list." I was like wth? Since when is it mandatory to people to have a picture for their contacts list on their phone? Obviously, he wants some boobs and ass shots picture. And I'm still talking to a complete stranger because we haven't even met up yet, no, I'm not going to send someone pictures of me via phone. This is like the 2nd time already a guy needs my picture for his "contacts" list. NEXT!
hippychick3 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Just tell him to screenshot your profile pic if he really wants a contact pic. I don't see what the big deal is. All you have to do is tell him you don't typically send pics before meeting up and then change the subject. 1
KatZee Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I've had actual guy friends in real life ask for a picture of myself for the contact picture. You're making the assumption that the guy wants to see your T&A when in fact, all he asked for, was a picture for his contacts. If you just would have sent over one of the pictures that's on the online dating profile, I'm sure that would have been the end of it. I think you jumped the gun entirely with the "NEXT!" And for the record, I input pictures for all my online dating prospects. It helps keep it fresh in my mind who I'm speaking to. I'm just smarter than the dudes who need a picture to save to their phone. I do the whole: screen shot, crop, add, thing. 2
Author Bobbi7 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 Just tell him to screenshot your profile pic if he really wants a contact pic. I don't see what the big deal is. All you have to do is tell him you don't typically send pics before meeting up and then change the subject. That's what I told him, and he still was being pushy about it. And then the last guy that did the same thing he did-wanted to send him a pic before meeting up-I told him no, he got pissy and I never heard from him again. If they want a pic sooo bad they should copy and download a picture of me then.. DUH. They could have at least figured that part out. I'm sure they want the TATAS and ass shot.
hippychick3 Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 That's what I told him, and he still was being pushy about it. And then the last guy that did the same thing he did-wanted to send him a pic before meeting up-I told him no, he got pissy and I never heard from him again. If they want a pic sooo bad they should copy and download a picture of me then.. DUH. They could have at least figured that part out. I'm sure they want the TATAS and ass shot. I've had many men in the past ask for extra pics. I never assumed they wanted dirty pics. I just assumed they liked my pic and wanted to see more of me before the date. Men are visual. The more visuals they have (not necessarily revealing pics), the more excited they get. Also, many men have encountered women in person who had portrayed themselves very differently online. I think they want to make sure you are really who you say you are. A current pic gives them more peace of mind that they are meeting the same person in the profile pic. 4
Gaeta Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I get asked for text extra pictures very often and I have no problem sending them pictures they have not seen online like pictures of me with my dog or with my daughter, holiday pictures, etc. I have never assumed because a man asked for more pictures that he was looking for boob pictures. Once again you are jumping the gun. What do you have to hide that men can't see more than your 3 pictures? This is a man you're about to meet so show yourself and if you send more pictures ask for pictures of him too. 2
Amalyn Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I've had many men in the past ask for extra pics. I never assumed they wanted dirty pics. I just assumed they liked my pic and wanted to see more of me before the date. Men are visual. The more visuals they have (not necessarily revealing pics), the more excited they get. Also, many men have encountered women in person who had portrayed themselves very differently online. I think they want to make sure you are really who you say you are. A current pic gives them more peace of mind that they are meeting the same person in the profile pic. I agree with this. I also have had many men ask for more pictures. I've honestly always assumed that it was because they wanted to make darn sure I was the person in the pictures. You should have just picked the best picture from the 3 on your profile and sent it to him. No harm done. Nexting him is a little extreme - unless he actually asked for nudes. 1
Space Ritual Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 then he saids, "Silly, I need it for my contact list." You would never know where a pic like that was going had you done it. Please do yourself a favor and block this guy. He may be rubbing one out to your pictures he already can see. For all you know he may steal the current ones and put them up on another site as a fake profile and portray himself as you in order to get some more weird thrills. Ladies, if I were any of you that use online dating, I would shudder to think where your pics end up. Maybe on Adult Friend Finder or worse.
Gaeta Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Please do yourself a favor and block this guy. He may be rubbing one out to your pictures he already can see. For all you know he may steal the current ones and put them up on another site as a fake profile and portray himself as you in order to get some more weird thrills. Ladies, if I were any of you that use online dating, I would shudder to think where your pics end up. Maybe on Adult Friend Finder or worse. You like to spread fear don't you. The pictures we put on dating site are public, we understand that. We have no control over who copies them and re-use them, so what? My picture would be copied on adult friend finder, again, so what?
Space Ritual Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I agree with this. I also have had many men ask for more pictures. I've honestly always assumed that it was because they wanted to make darn sure I was the person in the pictures. You should have just picked the best picture from the 3 on your profile and sent it to him. No harm done. Nexting him is a little extreme - unless he actually asked for nudes. Even a headshot can be put on somebody else's body if you are good at photoshop.
Space Ritual Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 No fear mongering at all. Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?
Author Bobbi7 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 I'll send him a pic After our first meeting and if we continue to see each other, I'll be more than happy to send pics. But I'm not going to send one to a guy that I haven't met YET. It's kind of a waste of time to send pics back and forth before our first meeting. And for someone to get pushy about it is a big red flag! And so what if he thinks He might be getting deceived???? What about me? What if I'm texting a sex offender or some dude who isn't even who he says he is! It works both ways. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I get asked for text extra pictures very often and I have no problem sending them pictures they have not seen online like pictures of me with my dog or with my daughter, holiday pictures, etc. I have never assumed because a man asked for more pictures that he was looking for boob pictures. . Actually, I have been reading on women's dating profiles and complaints of men asking for ADDITIONAL photos, when they already have 10 on the profile. I can kind of see why this would be off-putting to a woman who has so many pictures IN her profile already. On the plus side though, it's not like he's asking, "Hey, send me pics of your boobs!"
Timshel Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Nope. My only .02 for you Bobbi is to take all OLD down/delete. Don't even think about dating for a while. Find a good therapist to sort things out. I recommend having a few consult sessions with at least three. Therapists are not one size fits all and having one with whom you are most comfortable and best suits your needs is priceless. Also, it would be really beneficial for you to join a hobby group or free group therapy. My opinion is that pictures are shared during relationships and not swapped with strangers. You have posted an adequate amount to meet for coffee. I don't think that exchanging any more will determine whether or not you are compatible dating partners...assuming that is the goal.
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