Time to Move On?

[StanleyJohn]

This girl and I was dating for about 2 years. I am 19 years old and she is 18 years old. This was my first relationship ever and she considers this her first "real" relationship. Like any relationship, we had our shares of problems. I recently broke up with her because I could not take these problems anymore. They were too much for me and so I broke it off through Skype because we would Skype often and we just so happened to Skype that day. I guess you could say that some of these problems were petty problems such as an two hour response time. We probably fight about these problems more often then we should and I can admit that most of these arguments start because of me. I do have anger issues and I guess that's why so many arguments spark. I can't help it most of the time and it gets to my head. Anyways, when I broke up with her, I knew that I messed up and that I could not go on without her. We both go to different colleges and she dorms at her college while I commute to college. Her college is about 2 hours away from where I live. I decided the day after I broke up with her, I would go see her and try to get her back. When I got there, she did not want to see me or do anything with me, which is fair since I made the mistake of breaking up with her. I tried to talk to her, but she said me coming up to her college was making things worse between us and that she wants me to leave. It hurt me a lot when she said that, but I deserved that since I hurt her so bad mentally and emotionally. I do leave after she told me to. I suppose two days later, we started talking again, but just as "friends" if you want to put it like that. We started skyping again, but just not as often as we used to. One day, we got into an argument again and that was that. I do not remember the exact reason, but it happened. We then texted again, but she was in a different state at the time, going on vacation I guess. We talked and texted, but she told me that we need space while she was there. I honestly could not grant her that because my life sucked without her and I would try to keep texting her even though she said asked for space. I finally gave in and stopped texting for about three days until she came back from the other state. I texted her this time because I need help picking out a present for Christmas. She agreed to come and help me and that's when we started talking again. We both had fun together and it felt like old times before we broke up. We talked as friends and up until yesterday that she told me something. I was telling how I feel about her and that I was trying my hardest for her and then she tells me that it's not fair that I am trying and that she is keeping something away from me. She told me the night that I came up to her college, she went to her friend's house and that she was with another guy. She says that they're just friends and I don't know. I still think not. She told me all they did was sleep on the same bed and that she was on top of him belly faced down and he was too. Honestly, I was furious and upset about this. It made my heart ache and I couldn't think straight even though it was nothing sexual. I suppose it's nothing that big to some, but to me, I never wanted that ever to happen to me. I know that we weren't going out at the time and she was able to do anything she wanted, but it still hurt me because I cared about her. I loved her still. She told me she needed someone to comfort her and he was there. I would never have done that to her because I had high hopes of us getting back together and obviously the feelings were not mutual. She told me to come over to her house (since we're on break from school) and talk about it. It made me less upset about it and we even laid on each other and rubbed each other. She told me that she loves me and that she still cares about, but I do not know what to think of it. She says that she is attracted to me physically and personality wise, but not sexually. So I do not know what that would make us that night. Next day is Christmas, we text and what not. Everything seems to be okay until like 3:30 pm. We were playing an online video game together and then she says that she has to get ready and I had to get ready also because I thought I was going to her house at 4:30 like planned earlier today. She said she would text me back when she was done getting ready. She tells me that it might not be worth the gas and that she wasn't dressed when she texted me. I waited around 5:30 for her to text me back. Then I say okay and then I tell her how I feel about her and that I'm trying to get her back and I do not see any effort from her to get back together. We just argued after that and now we're here. Nothing but "friends" I guess. I still have feelings about her and I really do love her, but I do not think she feels the same way that I do which is okay. I just feel like I'm wasting my time and effort for her. I do not want to move on because I love her and I miss her 24/7, but do you think that's the RIGHT choice to move on?

Edited December 26, 2015 by StanleyJohn

[Strength in Healing]

First off, you have to learn how to create paragraphs. Learn to use the enter key. Lol

 

Secondly, the biggest mistake you can make is think she didn't have sex with that guy. Sleep on top of him but nothing sexual? That's so crazy dude. I'm not trying to hurt you aimlessly; I'm trying to hurt you with the truth so you can move on.

 

And Finally, my strongest advice is see a counselor or psychologist for the anger. Good luck brother.

[Ic1]

It's so obvious she's not going to be with you, and her actions in bed so soon (between her friend and you two 'rubbing') make me think she's not interested in a full-time relationship with anyone right now.

 

I also think you need to see a counselor for not only your anger and arguing more than fun, but there's something else that needs to be address with how long this has played with you chasing & tripping after her.