Rhythm28 Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Knew a girl from work for about 6 years. Kept in touch after she quit and about 2 months ago we ran into each other again and decided to date. Things were great the first week then she began to pull away even though we continuted to see each other for a few more weeks. Finally, I had enough of her ambivelance ( I think she's commitmentphobic) and ended the relationship. I could tell she wanted to end it but she didn't wanna be the one do so (Guilt?) After we both cooled off, we talked on the phone for the next few days but she gave me silly excuses as to why she didn't want to be involved right now. Fine. I didn't like it but I had no choice but to accept it. Not even a week goes by when I'm leaving the club on a Friday night and my cell phone rings. It's her. She's at a casino and wants the phone number of a dealer that we both know. Being a little buzzed I search through my phone not realizing that this mutual friend is standing no more than ten feet from her! She could have very easily obtained the number from her instead of calling me! I call her back, give her the number and get off the phone. The next day I wake up and see that she had callled AGAIN after I had gone to bed. Wasn't sure what to make of it so I waited until almost a week later to call her back. When I called, she didn't remember if she had called me and asked if I wasn't sure I had called her. Whatever. We talked for about 10-15 minutes and I made no reference about when we were gonna get together again or when I could see her again. She told me she'd call me in a few weeks to see how many coupons my restaurant got because she sells ad space for a coupon magazine and it was "based on response". I think she could have just asked me right then and there how many coupons we got! Of course, I wasn't thinking. So now I'm dreading the phone call. I don't carry my cell phone with me anymore. I'm even thinking of changing the number but we have the same friends and she knows where I work. It's not easy because I've known her for a long time. It was her decision to end it. Fine. But each time I talk to her it takes me right back to the day we broke up. It's not easy but I'm doing better. I've also read, "He's Scared, She's Scared" by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol. That book has helped immensely. Any advice? If she wanted no part of me, then don't call me! GRRRRRRRR! I'm not calling her! NC 4 life!
Marshbear Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 What were the excuses she gave you for the break up?
Author Rhythm28 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Posted June 2, 2005 That she was really busy with work (deadlines). She was gonna go back to school soon. She wanted to sleep in her own bed. She moved was another sorta excuse. 20 miles away. No big deal to me. Basically what it came down to is that she couldn't say that she has issues with commitment. All this after she had told me just a few weeks earlier that I was the last guy she'd ever date. Talked about what "our" wedding would be like, etc.
Cheeto Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Rythem...consider yourself lucky it didn't get any more involved!!! Hell...I ended up marrying a woman that STALKED me after 1 date(how stupid is that)...and I've been married to her for 20 yrs now(even more stupid). Well, our son just turned 18 and is getting ready to go into the air force...so I suppose I have done my duty and now am ready to be happy after a good 20 yrs of being b#@#@slapped on a near daily basis and cheated on several times. I'm totally numb to her anymore. She won't go away so I guess I have to. GOOD LUCK and remember if it seems rotten it probably is.
Author Rhythm28 Posted June 2, 2005 Author Posted June 2, 2005 Wow....Ok...Yeah it only lasted a month. Did you know she was commitmentphobic from the get-go?
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