GH3 Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 So my step father and I were having a talk regarding my romantic life, consequently, we sorta touched on intimacy. The only unsettling comment that I found was that he said "a woman can't play the same game as man." Now I know this is a typical response from a parent, but it got me thinking about how so many like-minded people have such a negative opinion on an aspect of me that is none of their business... Actually for that matter, any girl. I'm just curious about other people's opinion. So my question to you lovely people is: what do consider acceptable as far as expressing sexuality goes? For men and women that is
RedRobin Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 These days, it is pretty much anything goes and it only depends on what each person is comfortable with. Your step father likely has good intentions, but is living in a different era. Gender stereotypes for sexuality are outdated. 1
salparadise Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 I think your step dad is referring to the old paradigm wherein women feign demure with regard to sexuality, while men are free to push boundaries. It is sort of an antiquated notion but one that a lot of people hold onto either overtly or in subtle ways. In fact, I'd guess that most people are more comfortable with the man doing the pushing and the woman acquiescing. I'm mostly liberal when it comes to the old gender stereotyping schtick, but I will admit that even with my amazingly progressive girlfriend the old dynamic of the man being the top and the woman the bottom is alive and well––it's how we're wired. She's down for pretty much anything and isn't afraid to say so, but when the clothes hit the floor she prefers that I be the one blurring the lines when it comes to stuff we haven't done before. I say let it flow and be yourself. Sex is best when you think of it as unmasking and removing any pretentiousness that may exist for convention's sake outside the bedroom.
Author GH3 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 Yes but my example it's just an example, removing my situation, I did also think of how a lot of people seem to think that a woman can't use a man yet a man can use a woman, I've definitely seen this happen. It's all about who's emotions are being manipulated and hurt. Yet somehow, it's viewed as the woman loses something either way.
RedRobin Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I think both men and women are wise to avoid users of either gender. Your stepfathers advice is teaching you how to be weak. Lemme guess. He is probably racist and sexist too. Make your own decisions... And make sure whatever you do is on your own terms. Simple. Avoid liars and users. Relationships and sex shouldn't be about power and getting over on someone. Avoid those who think it is.
Author GH3 Posted December 26, 2015 Author Posted December 26, 2015 I think both men and women are wise to avoid users of either gender. Your stepfathers advice is teaching you how to be weak. Lemme guess. He is probably racist and sexist too. Make your own decisions... And make sure whatever you do is on your own terms. Simple. Avoid liars and users. Relationships and sex shouldn't be about power and getting over on someone. Avoid those who think it is. Haha funny you say that. No, he's actually somewhat liberal and he's Caribbean (not that it proves a point, but no he's not racist). He told me that he was telling me this because he wanted me to be "powerful". Which I understood in my current situation what he meant, but I also know things about my relationships that I don't care to tell. The only thing that did bother me is that he was implying that I could only play one role in a relationship because I'm a woman and its not a role I care to play. I don't want to be the bitter angry woman that ignores someone for months and only makes an appearance after I have someone... Because for what? If I'm going to kick someone out of my life, they're out of my life for good, like I have before.
JustGettingBy Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 Acceptable things for a man to do: Whatever his partner finds acceptable Acceptable things for a woman to do: Whatever her partner finds acceptable
stillafool Posted December 26, 2015 Posted December 26, 2015 I hear you OP, my father used to tell me "you can't do what a man does and still be a woman." OMG, would I see red. Just ignore, ignore, ignore. 1
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