ConfusedInOC Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Again, there is no evidence whatsoever of an 'addiction'. One really must be careful with these off-the-cuff non-evidence-based leaps to conclusion. It's bothering her so much she is here for advice. It's far from "off-the-cuff" as she describes it. It's clearly an addiction. And it is far too facile to blame porn for all the ills of mankind. It's also ridiculous to sugget that extended periods of watching porn will turn everyone numb. Again, that it happened to you speaks to your own issues. You aren't everyman - something each of us must keep in mind when we offer advice. Not every man uses logic, common sense, integrity and morals when making conscious decisions. And before you say anything, I am FAR, FAR from perfect in any sense of the word. I'm a sinner and still have much to learn from God and life itself. But as far as making the decision to have pre-marital sex and watch porn, it's my personal opinion that it's an indication of a lack of character. What's the purpose of porn, Moimeme? Give me your "opinion" of what useful purpose porn serves other than to desensitize and the dull the minds of people with little to no imagination. I'm still waiting to hear a logical reason for watching it. Instead of learning how to perform sex poorly from "actors," married couples should be communicating better with each other. And do you or do you not agree that porn demeans/degrades women and teaches men to treat women with disrespect? Here we are talking about date rape and how men should respect women when we know porn teaches how to DISRESPECT women and treat them like whores. And I am really troubled to see women promoting it as a "tool" to help them explore their sexuality. You can't have it both ways. If you want men to respect women, how about starting by not promoting a tool that teaches men to disrespect women?
ConfusedInOC Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by BigB I'm abstaining as well, but not till marriage, just waiting to find the right girl. I don't want to have casual sex, so I'm just biding my time till the next LTR. It's been a little over 6 years. Well I commend you there. I am not the judge of you B, but I think deep down inside you're a good man and have integrity. You will be blessed one day with a wonderful woman who deserves you. You sir, are braver than I. I have faith in God. He has a plan for me! Read Luke chapter 11, verse 11-13 in the new testament to find where I draw my strength in regards to abstinence. God has a plan for me.
moimeme Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 There's no point discussing with someone whose ideas are cast in stone. But for the record, no, I don't agree that porn demeans women nor do I agree that porn teaches men to do so. I think that people who deep down believe that sex is 'dirty' and therefore too nasty for women to sully themselves with might believe that way, but that people who accept that women can be every bit as horny and lusty and raunchy at men understand that what they may be seeing is a woman enjoying herself, too. Yes, there are types of porn that demean women, but this poster has not said her bf is into any of that stuff therefore the concern is unwarranted. And it is not an 'addiction' as addiction is defined.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme There's no point discussing with someone whose ideas are cast in stone. But for the record, no, I don't agree that porn demeans women nor do I agree that porn teaches men to do so. I think that people who deep down believe that sex is 'dirty' and therefore too nasty for women to sully themselves with might believe that way, but that people who accept that women can be every bit as horny and lusty and raunchy at men understand that what they may be seeing is a woman enjoying herself, too. Yes, there are types of porn that demean women, but this poster has not said her bf is into any of that stuff therefore the concern is unwarranted. And it is not an 'addiction' as addiction is defined. Well that's your opinion and you're entitled to it. Can't say that I agree with any part of your statements. She knows what to do and how to handle it. Personally I feel the guy has an addiction and I hope things work out in her favor.
Grinning Maniac Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Good post, man. I think you're on the right track with the "squeezing" thing as well. I noticed the same thing when I first started having sex. After I stopped beating my dick like it stole my TV, sex felt a lottt better. Also nice to see someone else who digs Loveline. Moi, don't even bother. You might as well be speaking to a brick wall. I really wish people would stop throwing the term "addiction" around like candy. It's ridiculous. Anyone so quick to place that label on someone, regardless of the facts, has probably never seen genuine addiction.
moimeme Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Anyone so quick to place that label on someone, regardless of the facts, has probably never seen genuine addiction You are correct, sir!
ConfusedInOC Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by Grinning Maniac Moi, don't even bother. You might as well be speaking to a brick wall. I really wish people would stop throwing the term "addiction" around like candy. It's ridiculous. Anyone so quick to place that label on someone, regardless of the facts, has probably never seen genuine addiction. I find it ironic you're making assumptions about what I do or do not know about addictions. I've seen it first hand in my family and in several others. But, I don't need to prove this to you. You've made some pretty quick assumptions yourself. Have a good one.
Author sumflower Posted June 3, 2005 Author Posted June 3, 2005 Hi guys: Just wanted to thank you all for your input - i can see the discussion has shifted to other debates! I've used the advice from the forum with my BF and he's pretty much agreed to all of it. He's trying to make changes for us which is good and we'll have to experiment in terms of sex in the future....
BigB Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 Originally posted by sumflower Hi guys: Just wanted to thank you all for your input - i can see the discussion has shifted to other debates! I've used the advice from the forum with my BF and he's pretty much agreed to all of it. He's trying to make changes for us which is good and we'll have to experiment in terms of sex in the future.... Cool, sounds like he took it well? I hope everything works out. Post back later and tell us about the mind blowing sex!
Pocky Posted June 4, 2005 Posted June 4, 2005 You may be interested in reading this thread from February: Does yanking it too often adversely affect sexual performance?
Author sumflower Posted June 4, 2005 Author Posted June 4, 2005 thanks for the thread pocky.... just posted something about the big fight my boyfriend and i just had so i'll probably have to wait off before i show him any information! appreciate it tho...
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