It is better to give than to receive

[Andrew86]

I feel like it is better to give than to receive. That's the way I am with everyone in my life especially the woman I have a crush on. She is a work colleague of mine. I've had a crush on her for almost 1 year and a half. I bought her a birthday present back in October. I don't think that buying a birthday gift for a work colleague is a crime. The gift was very cheap. I only spent 6 bucks and I hired a professional to gift wrap it. I spend much more than 6 dollars on gifts for friends and family so I figured there's no harm in buying a birthday gift for my crush. I didn't even leave a note inside.

 

I have baked her cookies for Christmas. Harmless gesture. I can't help that I want to give to my crush and quite honestly I want to give her more than I have been giving but I have purposely held back how much I give so it doesn't look too obvious.

 

But here's the thing. I don't like to receive anything from her. About a week after I bought her candy for her birthday she brings me a bag of candy and encourages me to take a handful but I only took one piece of candy. I did that on purpose because I figure by playing it cool and playing hard to get I can keep her on her toes.

 

It is kind of like a scenario of buying a woman a drink at a bar. If she buys the next round of drinks as a way to show her interest then I won't accept the drink. I'll send it back to her and then offer to buy her another round.

 

I've been doing this dance with my crush for the last 5 months of giving her stuff but not receiving from her. Why? It is better to give than to receive.

 

I guess my question is for the ladies. If a guy likes you and if you like him back and he does nice gestures for you like buying small gifts you like or being extra helpful but he doesn't receive anything back from you then will you at some point stop receiving gifts from him? You notice a pattern that he will want to give but not receive then will you lose interest in him and not want to receive anything from him? He does favors for you but declines any favors you offer him.

[sportygirl89]

I feel like it is better to give than to receive. That's the way I am with everyone in my life especially the woman I have a crush on. She is a work colleague of mine. I've had a crush on her for almost 1 year and a half. I bought her a birthday present back in October. I don't think that buying a birthday gift for a work colleague is a crime. The gift was very cheap. I only spent 6 bucks and I hired a professional to gift wrap it. I spend much more than 6 dollars on gifts for friends and family so I figured there's no harm in buying a birthday gift for my crush. I didn't even leave a note inside.

 

I have baked her cookies for Christmas. Harmless gesture. I can't help that I want to give to my crush and quite honestly I want to give her more than I have been giving but I have purposely held back how much I give so it doesn't look too obvious.

 

But here's the thing. I don't like to receive anything from her. About a week after I bought her candy for her birthday she brings me a bag of candy and encourages me to take a handful but I only took one piece of candy. I did that on purpose because I figure by playing it cool and playing hard to get I can keep her on her toes.

 

It is kind of like a scenario of buying a woman a drink at a bar. If she buys the next round of drinks as a way to show her interest then I won't accept the drink. I'll send it back to her and then offer to buy her another round.

 

I've been doing this dance with my crush for the last 5 months of giving her stuff but not receiving from her. Why? It is better to give than to receive.

 

I guess my question is for the ladies. If a guy likes you and if you like him back and he does nice gestures for you like buying small gifts you like or being extra helpful but he doesn't receive anything back from you then will you at some point stop receiving gifts from him? You notice a pattern that he will want to give but not receive then will you lose interest in him and not want to receive anything from him? He does favors for you but declines any favors you offer him.

 

Depends on what type of guy she likes. I know I won't possibly do anything like cooking for a guy until I am exclusive with a guy. I'll try to split the bill at least once as I feel like that is respectful (at least what I've read on LS). Its hard doing things only to get hurt putting yourself out there. First step is you have to tell her you feel. If she's not receptive don't push it.

[hasaquestion]

I feel like it is better to give than to receive. That's the way I am with everyone in my life especially the woman I have a crush on. She is a work colleague of mine. I've had a crush on her for almost 1 year and a half. I bought her a birthday present back in October. I don't think that buying a birthday gift for a work colleague is a crime. The gift was very cheap. I only spent 6 bucks and I hired a professional to gift wrap it. I spend much more than 6 dollars on gifts for friends and family so I figured there's no harm in buying a birthday gift for my crush. I didn't even leave a note inside.

 

I have baked her cookies for Christmas. Harmless gesture. I can't help that I want to give to my crush and quite honestly I want to give her more than I have been giving but I have purposely held back how much I give so it doesn't look too obvious.

 

But here's the thing. I don't like to receive anything from her. About a week after I bought her candy for her birthday she brings me a bag of candy and encourages me to take a handful but I only took one piece of candy. I did that on purpose because I figure by playing it cool and playing hard to get I can keep her on her toes.

 

It is kind of like a scenario of buying a woman a drink at a bar. If she buys the next round of drinks as a way to show her interest then I won't accept the drink. I'll send it back to her and then offer to buy her another round.

 

I've been doing this dance with my crush for the last 5 months of giving her stuff but not receiving from her. Why? It is better to give than to receive.

 

I guess my question is for the ladies. If a guy likes you and if you like him back and he does nice gestures for you like buying small gifts you like or being extra helpful but he doesn't receive anything back from you then will you at some point stop receiving gifts from him? You notice a pattern that he will want to give but not receive then will you lose interest in him and not want to receive anything from him? He does favors for you but declines any favors you offer him.

 

Seeing that this strategy is proving wildly successful, continue it by all means.

[Andrew86]

Depends on what type of guy she likes. I know I won't possibly do anything like cooking for a guy until I am exclusive with a guy. I'll try to split the bill at least once as I feel like that is respectful (at least what I've read on LS). Its hard doing things only to get hurt putting yourself out there. First step is you have to tell her you feel. If she's not receptive don't push it.

 

Oh I haven't pushed for anything. If anything I have limited contact with her and keep a distance from her. I don't seek out her company.

[burnt]

I feel like it is better to give than to receive. That's the way I am with everyone in my life especially the woman I have a crush on.

I had a pleasant feeling as I started reading the beginning of your post, since I happen to agree completely on the general notion of finding more joy in giving than in receiving.

 

But then … I'm getting a bit of a 'funny' feeling reading the rest of the post.

 

I can't help that I want to give to my crush and quite honestly I want to give her more than I have been giving but I have purposely held back how much I give so it doesn't look too obvious.

That makes perfect sense to me. If someone at the workplace keeps giving too many gifts to one specific person, that looks a bit creepy.

 

I did that on purpose because I figure by playing it cool and playing hard to get I can keep her on her toes.

'Keep her on her toes'? Not sure what you mean, but to me that almost sounds like playing games--and that doesn't sound good.

 

I've been doing this dance with my crush for the last 5 months of giving her stuff but not receiving from her. Why? It is better to give than to receive.

 

Giving gifts to someone is a good gesture--I wouldn't like it if someone was using the idea of gift giving as a tactic or a strategy. When I give gifts to someone I put a lot of thought and time into it and I wouldn't like it if it was returned; at least I would expect an honest answer for why it was not accepted or returned.