2much4 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 I've noticed a lot of guys will drop weird comments about my looks while dating. Some examples: "Your skin is so dark" "your eyes are weird" "your ears are so big" "your hair is so messy" A comment like that are usually followed by a laugh and then they continue picking on and making fun of one particular facial feature. Why do guys say stuff like that? At the same time they pursue me really hard and get upset when I dump them for being insensitive. So I don't think they actually have a problem with my looks. Anyone has experience with this type of behaviour?
lilmissjava Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 I would be like: Good riddance. They are probably deflecting their own physical flaws. 2
Author 2much4 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Posted December 24, 2015 Another great one is "I love big blondes" when you're small and dark. 1
Snakechammah Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Wow, that's really rude! If guys are going to comment on the girl's looks DURING a date, it better be good! Otherwise, why are they dating them?! I've been on a few dates with 3 different guys this year and all of them have commented on my looks. It's mightly uncomfortable, even though it's positive. If it's positive, it makes a girl feel like that's all they are interested in - the looks, and not your personality. I dont know how to react to these compliments, especially if they keep harping on it all night long! If it's negative, well, for me, I'll never see them again - HAHA! I honestly don't know how you have the patience to tolerate someone commenting on your looks negatively. I'd be sooooo pissed! Policy is... if you have nothing nice to say about my looks, and you've asked me out on a date, please shut up and don't date me again.
sin miedo Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Look up "negging." It's a tactic used by guys to prey on girls with low self-worth. A real man never does that! 7
RecentChange Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Seriously?!?!!! I consider myself fairly "average" but have never been told anything other than "you're beautiful" "you're cute" "you're sexy". I have honestly not once had a man insult me like you describe op. Time to take a hard look at the men you are choosing.
angel.eyes Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 I've noticed a lot of guys will drop weird comments about my looks while dating. Some examples: "Your skin is so dark" "your eyes are weird" "your ears are so big" "your hair is so messy" A comment like that are usually followed by a laugh and then they continue picking on and making fun of one particular facial feature. Why do guys say stuff like that? At the same time they pursue me really hard and get upset when I dump them for being insensitive. So I don't think they actually have a problem with my looks. Anyone has experience with this type of behaviour? Nope, and I've dated a lot. TBH they sound socially stunted, and if they're dating someone they find unattractive, desperate. Both are fairly easy to pick up. You need to do a better job of how you pick guys to date. Vet them a little beforehand.
Author 2much4 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Posted December 24, 2015 Seriously?!?!!! I consider myself fairly "average" but have never been told anything other than "you're beautiful" "you're cute" "you're sexy". I have honestly not once had a man insult me like you describe op. Time to take a hard look at the men you are choosing. If you asked the exact same guys who told me that I'm sure they'd tell you they never told me anything different than 'your beautiful'. It's just followed up by weird comments of the sort. Like I said I end up dumping them.
Author 2much4 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Posted December 24, 2015 Look up "negging." It's a tactic used by guys to prey on girls with low self-worth. A real man never does that! describes it pretty accurately! I've noticed guys who do that have VERY low self esteem, are a bit paranoid and usually a bit of control freaks....
smackie9 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 I agree it's negging. Never tolerated it myself.
sin miedo Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 describes it pretty accurately! I've noticed guys who do that have VERY low self esteem, are a bit paranoid and usually a bit of control freaks.... Probably so. It's shocking how many guys think that actually works. I've had some friends suggest I neg my gf to "get complete control of the relationship." There are so many things wrong with that line of thinking...I mean what's wrong with a little mutual respect in a relationship?
loveflower Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Seriously?!?!!! I consider myself fairly "average" but have never been told anything other than "you're beautiful" "you're cute" "you're sexy". I have honestly not once had a man insult me like you describe op. Time to take a hard look at the men you are choosing. maybe you have your things together. sometimes, it has nothing to do with how you really looks, but your social standing. 1
Ic1 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 OP, a theory on a response: Turn the spotlight on them by seriously stating a compliment on their looks. But then pointing out their personality can't match it. -Example Script- Boy: "Your ears are so big!" Woman: "Your goatee is rather sexy." Boy (offset by your confident response): "Well.. thank you?" Woman: "I also appreciate your personality's traits coming out sooner than latter." But if he took your compliment in a way that makes himself feel dominant Boy: "Too bad I wasn't out with a girl that could match my looks!" Woman: "I wish you luck with women, because any real one won't deal with you." Stated calmly and leave. If that was his take on it, best to leave him with the check. 1
Bobbi7 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 that's pretty rude. I've never actually encountered this while on dates...The only damn thing they've told me, was, "You're soo quiet." I was like wth? If he's bored, then he should ****ing leave, no one is forcing him against his will.
dobielover Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 I've only received comments like that from guys on Tinder and Match when I didn't respond. "You know you're not attractive enough to not respond to me, right?" :lmao:
RecentChange Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 maybe you have your things together. sometimes, it has nothing to do with how you really looks, but your social standing. I think that's exactly why. I have a great deal of respect for myself, and command that others treat me with respect as well. Rude D bags don't get a second look, let alone a date.
xcupid Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 I've noticed a lot of guys will drop weird comments about my looks while dating. Some examples: "Your skin is so dark" "your eyes are weird" "your ears are so big" "your hair is so messy" A comment like that are usually followed by a laugh and then they continue picking on and making fun of one particular facial feature. Why do guys say stuff like that? At the same time they pursue me really hard and get upset when I dump them for being insensitive. So I don't think they actually have a problem with my looks. Anyone has experience with this type of behaviour? Doesn't matter whether they have a problem with your looks or not. They're jerks and they're being disrespectful to you. You're doing the right thing by dumping them.
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