Becki Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Im so sad I cant xplain it. One huge loss I could never imagine. Its been said a thousand times over but when it happens to you, its differnt. Especially when you werent expecting it! I had been with my BF for 2 and a half years. And last Thursday he gave up on me. He felt apathetic to our situation and just up and left basically. We dont live particularly close. Thats good. I just wish it didn't hurt trying to come to terms with the fact he isnt mine anymore. I wish I could turn back the clock and say everything I told him tonight, a year ago instead. It wouldn't even be so bad, but my best friend has basically abandoned me because he's finally got his own love interest. What timing! He's been waitin for ages for someone and he finally gets someone, just as I split up with my BF! And now he has better things to do than be with me. I want to be happy for him. But I'm not. I want my life sorting out, but I can't. I hate time. Its too slow. Its not healing me at all. I just thought I'd share how sad I am with this board.
outdated Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Hold on there Becki- It's only been a week. There's a whole lot left to this than what you have now. Wait until the initial shock wears of and then chin up. Live your life and wait and see what happens. He may come crawling back...
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 I'm sorry honey, Almost all of us came to LS to just let it all out. We here understand what your going through. You probably think its can't get any worse than it is right now. But things get worse before they get better. You well be happy again. If you were happy before him, you Will be happy after him. My guy up and left me to on a whim....best thing that ever happened to me. In the beginning, of course, I thought that i was going to fall to pieces. After the pain and anger passed me, I moved on and it is the most wonderful feeling in the world!!!!! Trust me on this. Do No Contact too. Erase him from your phone, email, buddy list, anything that will remind you of him. I did NC and it worked well. I gets your mind off of him as well as help you forget completely about him. You'll hav fun doing it too....meeting new people, going new places.....Trust me sweetheart...it will get easier..... Good Luck
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Hang in there Becki, after bad times it is time of good things to happen so just give yourself some time. I know it is hard, your bf left and best friend got some other interest to pursue but who told that this is the end of the world for you. There are many more friends in this world and who knows some of them might become your best friend. So go out and explore . Don't isolate yourself, keep doing your daily activities and devote more time to you, your interests, go to city centers, order a cookie in the cafebar, sit there and enjoy seeing peoples around you. It would life your spirit. Go out, it is such a nice weather outside. Take care
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Greehorns right...You need some Becki time now. Focus on yourself. You have no one to answer to now and your free as a bird! Go to Canada for the night! Who cares! You can...no BF holding you down!
smile95 Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 My guy of 3 yrs broek my heart and I went thru a horrible time(crying, sleeping, hating myself, etc) I never thought that time would help me and altho it has only beena week, I am so much better. And better off. I love him very much, but decided to do NC and it is amazing how much better I feel. You never think you will smile again and you do. I am not sure if this is a fluke, but I am getting over it and you can too. Give it time. Do not contact them, it only hurts more. Iwish you luck-in my case, he was not very good to me and we were long dist, so it was the best thing for me to do NC and I am so glad I did!
dgiirl Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Becki, everyone here has given you some great advice. I know the pain, my stbxh of 8 years just upped and left, and on valentines day no less. I went completely insane, crying day and night, having happy dreams only to wake up to the nightmare of my life. It's terrible terrible pain. But trust me on this one, time will heal. If you've said everything that needed to be said to your ex (w/o repeating yourself), then just implement NC. It will heal you, and possibly give your ex a chance to miss you. Either way, you will be happy again. Now is the time for you to improve yourself. A few things that helped me pass the time, and not cry ALL day long was going to the library and reading up on relationships/communication. I visited ALL the tourist places in my city. I contacted ALL my friends, and starting hanging out with them more. Since my stbxh left, I've organized quiet a few movie nights with my coworkers. Noone at work went out together until this happen! It's great spending time with my friends. I never had time to do anything I wanted to do because I was with my stbxh. Now is my time to do everything that he hated doing. And it makes me happy.
Fallen_Angel Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Yes, go out and soak up the sunshine! (It is scientifically proven to lift your spirits.) Do all the things you've been promising yourself you'd do. Go shopping. Spoil yourself a little! Go to a gym. Take long walks. Go out with friends. Read a book. Earlier today I started thinking I haven't made much progress (it'll be two months tomorrow since the end of my three and a half year relationship), but then again, I'm not crying every day like I used to. Yes, the healing process will take time, and it will be extremely difficult, but you'll get through it. Don't expect it to happen overnight, either. I wish it would, but it most certainly will not! Make a list of the things you want in your next relationship. I did so mainly because I thought my ex was perfect. Turns out he's not. Don't forget to rid your surroundings (home, work, wherever) of anything and EVERYTHING that reminds you of your ex. Lock all of these things away until you're ready to look at them again. I've said it before, and I feel I need to remind myself (!!) and I'll tell you too...each day that goes by will bring you a day closer to someone better.
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 well 2day is 2months since me and my ex broke up...omg trust me it took me so long to start nc. i didnt want to it really scared me to think that i wasnt gonnaknow nething about him 4 while or mayb 4 ever.. well i started like amost 2 weeks ago..i decided this bcuz well 2day is also 2months anniversary between my ex and his gf...yea they started going out that same night.... ..supposedly she asked him out while he was on the rebound... well for me nc has been great..its making me c this relationship or w/e happened wit him in a new way.. u know i think that i had to get out of his life so he would b with her.. he loves her.. and well he dont love me or think of me nemore.. yesterday he IM me and well it made me feel better to hear him ..but then again i was wishing him to not have done that... i still love him i cant lie...but i cant stick around ...i cant put my self low...im just proud of yself that i didnt IM him.. im glad i kept my promise of NC...do that i promise u u will fell better.. 2day my friend told me a saying which i think its sorta tru..: "u might have won but i havent lost"..meaning in this situation.. he might have won by getting the freedom he wanted but u havent lost ..u stil have those memories between u guys and nuttin can take that away from u..
Author Becki Posted June 3, 2005 Author Posted June 3, 2005 I think no contact for me is going to be best. I spoke to him the other night. He was harsh, but the thing is, I know he does mean it, but he makes it sound worse because he wants me to move on. He's in a band, and I watched him do the same when we was throwing them out. He said the oly way to sometimes get it through was to not show emotion to them. I guess it worked. The strange thing is, I miss him so much, and all i want is to have him back, BUT, Im still not finding it as hard as I thought I would? It doesnt make sense to me at all! I mean yeah i have times when I feel I can't cope and I dont want to move on, but somethin Ive always thought is that even at the worst of times, if you try to stay happy, everything will be good. And thats what I'm doing. And I think its due to this Im not feelin as bad as I think I should..if that makes sense? The only thing thats bothering me the most, is that I can't bare the thought of him being with anyone else! I know it might not happen for a while, and once i feel OK with it, I do want us to be friends, cause hes a great guy! I know I'm not ready yet! On a bonus though, its kick-started me into actually losing weight! Its something Ive not been happy with for so long, but now I have to move on..and I want to look my best! Anyone breaking up right now, use the anger and the hurt to motivate yourself into doing something you want to! I think its really helping me!
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by Becki I wish I could turn back the clock and say everything I told him tonight, a year ago instead. We've all been there On a bonus though, its kick-started me into actually losing weight! Its something Ive not been happy with for so long, but now I have to move on..and I want to look my best! Good choice. Go girl!
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 i also changed after the break up..u know wut gurs do ..nails hair..clothes lol.. and u know wut? if u ever c him again watch he will b like "wow u look better than ever" and he will c wut he lost... ...
Recommended Posts