Rejected Rosebud Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 The crazy part isn't that he's willing to make sure the animal he bought and is no longer wanted by the recipient gets back to the pet store. The crazy part was that he thought he'd need a police escort to go to her house and pick up a hamster. Or that the police would even take him seriously if he went and asked for one. She's not a murderer. She's not going to kill him if he meets her at the pet store. OP hasn't mentioned anything she's done or said that has been violent. Quit acting like she is just because OP got all paranoid and dramatic because of what he read on the internet. Quit encouraging his paranoia. I AGREE with you!! I don't think the girl is going to kill him, I am saying that if HE was ready to call a police escort because of his fear, HE needs to just not go meet the girl. A rational adult person will NOT say he fears for his life and safety in one breath, and then tell us all he is going to her house to retrieve a hamster in the next - if they expect to be taken seriously anyway. Its all ridiculous. But really - it's obvious that this girl (If any of this is actually true) is angling to remain involved with the OP. Any normal person who had a hamster they didn't want would find a new home for it or take it back to the pet store where it came from SINCE SHE HAS THE RECEIPT. Supposedly.
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 You will get the best result to all this if you start treating her like a human being rather than a wild animal. You're a grown ass man. No woman who doesn't have a criminal record or history of violence (that you know of) should make you fear for your safety. Well ... did you miss the part about how she had some kind of an outburst during her finals and the police were called to escort her out??
Dolfin80 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Were they admitted (which implies warded) or just seen by a doctor, given a prescription, and sent home? To be fair, I don't know if the US does things differently, but I've worked in a hospital and have never encountered anyone being admitted for minor stitches or a headache (and it doesn't make sense that anyone would, ward space is expensive). Ive been admitted before due to dehydration. So being admitted doesnt mean much. I just needed a drip. 1
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) You will get the best result to all this if you start treating her like a human being rather than a wild animal. You're a grown ass man. No woman who doesn't have a criminal record or history of violence (that you know of) should make you fear for your safety. tc...I doubt OP is in any danger, but open your eyes. Do you read the news at all? Just because a woman or man does not have a criminal record or a history of violence...does not mean they don't have a breaking point that could snap anytime. After reading this story, Travis Alexander had no clue and felt completely safe when he invited Jodi Arias in for a day of hot sex ...before she came from behind and stabbed him in the shower 50+ times, then dragged him out of shower and slit his throat! Prior to that ..Jodi had never been in trouble, never been arrested, attended Church services, and many people who knew her (other than Travis' friends as Jodi had been stalking him, etc) viewed her as a lovely and gentle person. Everyone has a breaking point!! Edited December 27, 2015 by katiegrl
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Just for a bit of perspective, let's leave out the parts about how insane the girl and the OP acted, and our love of pet hamsters. If you are dating a person a few times and you get some serious red flags, and decide not to go on anymore dates with them - and they keep contacting you because they want to "return your stuff" - you don't get together with them to retrieve your stuff, recognizing this as a tactic. You either figure out a way for your stuff to be returned without contact, or you say goodbye to your stuff. That's how it's done! 1
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 tc...I doubt OP is in any danger, but open your eyes. Do you read the news at all? Just because a woman or man does not have a criminal record or a history of violence...does not mean they don't have a breaking point that could snap anytime. After reading this story, Travis Alexander had no clue and felt completely safe when he invited Jodi Arias in for a day of hot sex ...before she came from behind and stabbed him in the shower 50+ times, then dragged him out of shower and slit his throat! Prior to that ..Jodi had never been in trouble, never been arrested, attended Church services, and many people who knew her (other than Travis' friends as Jodi had been stalking him, etc) viewed her as a lovely and gentle person. Everyone has a breaking point!! Read Susan Wright's story too. The picture of innocence, no history of violence, a loving mother, who snapped and stabbed her husband 100+ times..then buried him in the back yard. Never underestimate what someone is capable of....it's best to always be aware and cautious, especially after witnessing the type of instability and over-reactionary and frankly whacko behavior this chick has been exhibiting. 1
lollipopspot Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 After reading this story, Travis Alexander had no clue and felt completely safe when he invited Jodi Arias in for a day of hot sex ...before she came from behind and stabbed him in the shower 50+ times, then dragged him out of shower and slit his throat!... Everyone has a breaking point!! Read Susan Wright's story too. The picture of innocence, no history of violence, a loving mother, who snapped and stabbed her husband 100+ times..then buried him in the back yard. You're talking about people who have long histories of relationship with their victims (and at least in Arias' case she was jerked around quite a bit by her victim). The OP knew this lady for a weekend. That would be a pretty short breaking point - I'd imagine she'd have a lot of dead bodies in buried in her yard if this is all it takes to make her snap. 2
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) You're talking about people who have long histories of relationship with their victims (and at least in Arias' case she was jerked around quite a bit by her victim). The OP knew this lady for a weekend. That would be a pretty short breaking point - I'd imagine she'd have a lot of dead bodies in buried in her yard if this is all it takes to make her snap. Yes I know which is why I said I did not think the OP was in any danger. But still, ya just never know, and I was responding to tuxedo's post saying that because she has no criminal record or history of violence (that he knows of) that she couldn't snap and do some damage. I am curious though....if she does have a history of violence, restraining orders etc. She might. But yeah I agree. Don't think he should worry....it was only one weekend.. But then again, did you see Fatal Attraction? Glenn Close and Michael Douglas only spent one weekend together too. But that was only a movie so....... Edited December 27, 2015 by katiegrl
Author Teknoe Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Well ... did you miss the part about how she had some kind of an outburst during her finals and the police were called to escort her out?? Yeah she didn't study so she decided to make a scene thinking it would give her time to study. They took her to an isolated room where she took a chair and tried smashing the window. I thought she was joking when she told me this but after she added me as a friend on FB, I saw that she posted it on her wall. Really, who shares such damaging info on FB like that? This was toward the end of our short lived relationship that I realized this girl was truly unbalanced. Whether she has a sickness or not I know something isn't right with her.
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Yeah she didn't study so she decided to make a scene thinking it would give her time to study. They took her to an isolated room where she took a chair and tried smashing the window. I thought she was joking when she told me this but after she added me as a friend on FB, I saw that she posted it on her wall. Really, who shares such damaging info on FB like that? This was toward the end of our short lived relationship that I realized this girl was truly unbalanced. Whether she has a sickness or not I know something isn't right with her. Teknoe - You already posted that she told you about the school scene BEFORE YOU EVEN MET. Not "towards the end." I would really appreciate it if you'd stop referring to this as a "relationship." You went on a few dates and both of you acted like loons. Let it go. 3
Author Teknoe Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Some other oddities I would like to point out 1. One time a car was tailgating us by her house. She braked trying to "get back" at the tailgater. Then she pulled over. Once he passed she actually sped up to follow him for a bit. I yelled at her to stop and say what are you doing?! She goes no one tailgates me. You can't let people do that to you. I responded who cares! What if he rear ended us when you braked? Or what if he got mad you followed him after letting him pass? She just said stop being afraid. That's when I knew she was unstable or one of the earlier signs. 2. At the restaurant our waitress was slow on giving our water. No big deal. But she gave our waitress a ton of attitude and talked to her like she were a three year old child. No eye contact. Totally tried to make the waitress feel bad. I told her to stop and be nice but she refused saying when you get poor service you need to show them their error. I said yeah ok but I think you made your point already. But of course that didn't stop her. 3. When picking out the hamster she took forever and wore out the patience of the worker. She wanted this one specific hamster that kept going on the wheel but there were like 25 hamsters in the cage. She picked one, I paid for it and then she goes wait I don't have confidence this is the right one. Let's double check. She then requested a different employee because the last one rushed her and was impatient. We go over and she is obsessed with finding the right one. She said the one she wants was the one who loved the wheel. The employee said honestly they all love the wheel and I was like thank you in my head haha. This went on way too long. 4. She said she needed to pee at IHOP. I told her to go then when she just sat there. Then she said no. I was like alright. That was weird. We then go to my place and again she mentions that she needs to pee. I said use my restroom and she goes no I'm good. Weird, I thought. After assembling the cage we found a small crack. She said we need to exchange it back for a non cracked one. I understood her point but at this point my patience was wearing thin. So we head back and she goes I really need to go pee now! Like a child would say. She ran off to the restroom like a hot mess. Why didn't she use the restroom at IHOP or at my house? It was just another notch on her weird belt for me. So: OCD Recklessness Rude if upset in the least Restroom issues reminiscent of a shy five year old I realized at that point I much rather be single than deal with this the rest of my life lol. I remember thinking she would get us killed in the car someday if I stayed with her. Heck her car had a huge dent from a recent accident. Whew. What was I thinking...
Author Teknoe Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Teknoe - You already posted that she told you about the school scene BEFORE YOU EVEN MET. Not "towards the end." I would really appreciate it if you'd stop referring to this as a "relationship." You went on a few dates and both of you acted like loons. Let it go. To clarify I am talking about when I saw it posted on her wall. When she told me over the phone before we met I thought she maybe just has a very twisted sense of humor. Part of me didn't want to believe it until I saw she posted it on her FB wall
StBreton Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Tek ...if this is all true ...you have boundaries as soft as that hamster's fur. I think you need to consider standards that are appropriate and not get involved with anyone like this in the fiuture. I thnk you were enamored she received you're advances favorably and still went with it even with warning bells loud and clear. My intention is not to make you feel bad but I don't know any guy that would have continued seeing this girl after the FB post. What kind of upbringing did you have? If you aren't going to seek therapy, maybe us LSers could help you set some standards. 1
katiegrl Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Tek ...if this is all true ...you have boundaries as soft as that hamster's fur. I think you need to consider standards that are appropriate and not get involved with anyone like this in the fiuture. I thnk you were enamored she received you're advances favorably and still went with it even with warning bells loud and clear. My intention is not to make you feel bad but I don't know any guy that would have continued seeing this girl after the FB post. What kind of upbringing did you have? **If you aren't going to seek therapy, maybe us LSers could help you set some standards.** ^^ Not if they insist on continuing to accuse him of trolling.
Author Teknoe Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 Tek ...if this is all true ...you have boundaries as soft as that hamster's fur. I think you need to consider standards that are appropriate and not get involved with anyone like this in the fiuture. I thnk you were enamored she received you're advances favorably and still went with it even with warning bells loud and clear. My intention is not to make you feel bad but I don't know any guy that would have continued seeing this girl after the FB post. What kind of upbringing did you have? If you aren't going to seek therapy, maybe us LSers could help you set some standards. Well she only added me on Tuesday. She was initially adamant about us not being FB friends until we became an established couple with several months to our name. Her reason being "I want to remain mysterious to your friends before meeting them." But then on Tuesday she added me anyway. And am I glad she did. It allowed me to comb through her wall and I saw a couple things that alarmed me, including the Finals episode which part of me wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt on. I agree that I need to set forth stronger boundaries and believe this difficult (and frankly, embarrassing) experience has already done a lot in setting that in stone. I also agree with you that because she liked me and I liked her I was willing to overlook a lot of orange and even red flags until thankfully I came to my senses on that fifth and final day. To my credit, I caught it early and bolted. In researching BPD online I see that many guys stay stuck for months or even years and exit the relationship severely reeling and damaged. I got out fast and if anything this has made me wiser for the future to watch out for early red flags as well an reinforce stronger boundaries. With this girl I simply got caught up in the magical nature of it all that I lost my head for a bit there. That weekend did feel like something out of a Hollywood script where the dorky guy wins the hot girl over. Lesson learned!
Author Teknoe Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 What kind of upbringing did you have? If you aren't going to seek therapy, maybe us LSers could help you set some standards. I had a normal and happy childhood. Grew up with my parents and older brother in the suburbs of America. My brother and I fought sometimes; typical sibling stuff. My parents showed us love through providing food and shelter. We never said I love you or hugged... I simply didn't grow up in that sort of environment. If I ever have a family that is one thing I would do differently. Grew up with friends including a best friend. We watched Saturday morning cartoons, rented video games and played outside. We were typical boys. We loved games, being outdoors, wrestling, Godzilla, sports, you know typical stuff that boys like. I don't plan to seek therapy as I honestly believe I know what I need to work on. The kind of money I would have to pay doesn't seem worth it when i know what my hang ups are. As for your offer to share some standards with me, sure why not. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and am all ears whether here or through PM.
StBreton Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Well she only added me on Tuesday. She was initially adamant about us not being FB friends until we became an established couple with several months to our name. Her reason being "I want to remain mysterious to your friends before meeting them." But then on Tuesday she added me anyway. And am I glad she did. It allowed me to comb through her wall and I saw a couple things that alarmed me, including the Finals episode which part of me wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt on. I agree that I need to set forth stronger boundaries and believe this difficult (and frankly, embarrassing) experience has already done a lot in setting that in stone. I also agree with you that because she liked me and I liked her I was willing to overlook a lot of orange and even red flags until thankfully I came to my senses on that fifth and final day. To my credit, I caught it early and bolted. In researching BPD online I see that many guys stay stuck for months or even years and exit the relationship severely reeling and damaged. I got out fast and if anything this has made me wiser for the future to watch out for early red flags as well an reinforce stronger boundaries. With this girl I simply got caught up in the magical nature of it all that I lost my head for a bit there. That weekend did feel like something out of a Hollywood script where the dorky guy wins the hot girl over. Lesson learned! I understand. If she's hot ...guys forgive a lot of crazy for that. I get it. You're 32. Do you need the hottest girl or the one who's going to be a wonderful partner for years to come. Lower some standards ...raise others.
The Way I Am Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) Teknoe, I commend you for your willingness to see that the animal you bought gets back to the pet store safely. I don't know if your reason is because you want to protect the animal, for the money, or otherwise. But whatever it is, I'm glad you're willing to do the right thing. An animal's life is worth more than the inconvenience of dealing with this woman. While I think it's a safe thing to not spend alone time with any person after you've broken up with them, I think you're being unfairly judgmental to this girl you barely know based on stuff you've read on the internet. My tenant/roomate/friend for 5+ years is diagnosed with BPD. My brother is diagnosed with bipolar (tho I do wonder if it might be BPD also). A male friend of mine is diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia. Surprisingly (extreme sarcasm), none of the three have ever murdered anyone. Neither my roommate nor my brother murdered their ex wives. I know it's shocking, but people with mental illness don't just go around regularly murdering people. Of course you can find 1 or 2 examples out of millions if you want to find a reason to stigmatize a large group of people. That doesn't mean the majority of people with mental illness are a threat to your life. Edited December 27, 2015 by The Way I Am 4
The Way I Am Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) But then again, did you see Fatal Attraction? Glenn Close and Michael Douglas only spent one weekend together too. But that was only a movie so....... ...it's completely invalid nonsense, and I shouldn't even refer to it if I want to be taken seriously. Sorry I figured somebody should finish that sentence logically. Years ago, a school psychologist said to me that that movie is the absolute worst thing to happen to dating. Unfortunately, there are people who don't realize that Hollywood portrayals have little to do with reality and continue with this "bunny boiler" nonsense. Edited December 27, 2015 by The Way I Am
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Anyway, it's time to stop talking about her, picking her apart and making fake diagnoses. You are making yourself look bad. Her problems are really none of your business at all. It wasn't a relationship, it was a weird and BRIEF experience. I understand that it made a big impression on you, but please, let it be in the past already. OK? 2
Robert Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Folks, this is a reminder that calling another poster a troll on the open forum comes with 3 days of moderated posts. The OP is an established member of five years. Carry on without the accusations. ~6
Redfisher Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Anyway, it's time to stop talking about her, picking her apart and making fake diagnoses. You are making yourself look bad. Her problems are really none of your business at all. It wasn't a relationship, it was a weird and BRIEF experience. I understand that it made a big impression on you, but please, let it be in the past already. OK? Crazy right? it was 5 days!!! how can this happen? You probably don't even know her middle name yet... I bet shes just as worried about you and your crazy as you are of hers. 3
tuxedo cat Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) Read Susan Wright's story too. The picture of innocence, no history of violence, a loving mother, who snapped and stabbed her husband 100+ times..then buried him in the back yard. Never underestimate what someone is capable of....it's best to always be aware and cautious, especially after witnessing the type of instability and over-reactionary and frankly whacko behavior this chick has been exhibiting. Anybody could be a potential murderer but I think it's paranoid to go around thinking that way, especially when you consider how rare female violent offenders are. At worst this girl may create a scene. Sure, if the genders were reversed, I'd tell him to be cautious, but as a guy he's perfectly capable of defending himself as long as he doesn't enter a compromised situation. The female murderers you mentioned all attacked men when they caught them in a moment of extreme vulnerability like during sex. The OP certainly isn't endangering his life by meeting this girl at a pet store. Edited December 28, 2015 by tuxedo cat 1
tuxedo cat Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) Well she only added me on Tuesday. She was initially adamant about us not being FB friends until we became an established couple with several months to our name. Her reason being "I want to remain mysterious to your friends before meeting them." But then on Tuesday she added me anyway. And am I glad she did. It allowed me to comb through her wall and I saw a couple things that alarmed me, including the Finals episode which part of me wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt on. I agree that I need to set forth stronger boundaries and believe this difficult (and frankly, embarrassing) experience has already done a lot in setting that in stone. I also agree with you that because she liked me and I liked her I was willing to overlook a lot of orange and even red flags until thankfully I came to my senses on that fifth and final day. To my credit, I caught it early and bolted. In researching BPD online I see that many guys stay stuck for months or even years and exit the relationship severely reeling and damaged. I got out fast and if anything this has made me wiser for the future to watch out for early red flags as well an reinforce stronger boundaries. With this girl I simply got caught up in the magical nature of it all that I lost my head for a bit there. That weekend did feel like something out of a Hollywood script where the dorky guy wins the hot girl over. Lesson learned! Teknoe, I rarely say this to posters but I actually agree with others that you should consider getting psychological help. I'm not saying this to be mean or condescending, but because everything you've written in this thread makes me worried for you. It's not healthy or normal to seriously discuss marriage mere days after meeting someone, especially someone who has admitted to having scary meltdowns in public. Nor is it healthy or normal for you, after dumping this person, to harp on all of their crazy behavior that you were so willing to overlook before. Your behavior is irrational and erratic, and I feel like you're dwelling on her craziness to deflect your own responsibility. Edited December 28, 2015 by tuxedo cat 1
tuxedo cat Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I had a normal and happy childhood. Grew up with my parents and older brother in the suburbs of America. My brother and I fought sometimes; typical sibling stuff. My parents showed us love through providing food and shelter. We never said I love you or hugged... I simply didn't grow up in that sort of environment. If I ever have a family that is one thing I would do differently. Grew up with friends including a best friend. We watched Saturday morning cartoons, rented video games and played outside. We were typical boys. We loved games, being outdoors, wrestling, Godzilla, sports, you know typical stuff that boys like. I don't plan to seek therapy as I honestly believe I know what I need to work on. The kind of money I would have to pay doesn't seem worth it when i know what my hang ups are. As for your offer to share some standards with me, sure why not. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and am all ears whether here or through PM. You may not have to pay much if you have decent health insurance. Often all it costs is a small copay (10-20 dollars a session).
Recommended Posts