Husband2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Hi all: I just got married and I've known my wife for 2 years and we're very happy with each other. My only issue is that she still gets excited when a guy notices her and in case he is eyeing her, her mind is almost always in that place. For example, we were at Starbucks the other day and I was in line to get the coffee. She took a seat, and a guy started checking her out. Looking at her from a distance, I could see her checking him out as well with a slight/ naughty grin on her face. I feel a little disrespected but I swallow my pride given I that I think highly of her apart from this irritating habit. I've tried talking to her about this but she never acknowledges that she did anything and says that maybe she does this subconsciously. My question today is that should I give this any more importance or just neglect this?
VeveCakes Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 I think her reaction to how it makes you feel is most important, and it seems like she brushes it off like it's nothing. That would bother me... 6
Mr. Lucky Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 For example, we were at Starbucks the other day and I was in line to get the coffee. She took a seat, and a guy started checking her out. Looking at her from a distance, I could see her checking him out as well with a slight/ naughty grin on her face. I feel a little disrespected but I swallow my pride given I that I think highly of her apart from this irritating habit. I think you're making an awful lot of assumptions based on a look across a coffee shop... Mr. Lucky 2
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 People are going to wondow shop. It happens. If a girl is giving me "the look" yeah im flattered. Better get used to it. Im actually flattered when a guy is checking ot my wife. Makes me feel good, like "yeah im hittin' that". Seriously bro, there is only one reason I buy sunglasses. Has nothing to do with protecting my eyes either. This is where that old saying "married, not dead" comes from. Nothing wrong with window shopping imo.
Clockwork Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 I remember after my wife had our son and she was outside cleaning our windows. Our neighbor was on his porch with a couple of buddies. He's 18 or so and my wife is 26 or so. I honestly have no idea if my wife knew this, but she was totally being checked out by some horny teenagers. She was reaching to wash certain parts of the window and such and talking to my neighbor at the same time. I was watching from inside and yeah it actually turned me on. She either didn't realize it (which is a turn on) or she got a bit of a boost knowing she still "has it" after being a mom. No harm no foul, and I've never asked her, but the truth is she was being checked out and as her husband it felt fine by me.
qubist Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 she could be doing it subconsciously but it is a sign of lack of self esteem. you should talk to her about improving her self esteem and even consider a professional evalution 1
dichotomy Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Some looks from other men, a small smile from your wife. As long as the focus is one way, and her only reaction back is a sly smile - its okay - normal to file alive. If it evolves into her checking out guys (more than a glance), or her engaging or flirting back, then there is an issue How does she treat you? Is she affectionate, loving, passionate towards you?
BetheButterfly Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Hi all: I just got married and I've known my wife for 2 years and we're very happy with each other. My only issue is that she still gets excited when a guy notices her and in case he is eyeing her, her mind is almost always in that place. For example, we were at Starbucks the other day and I was in line to get the coffee. She took a seat, and a guy started checking her out. Looking at her from a distance, I could see her checking him out as well with a slight/ naughty grin on her face. I feel a little disrespected but I swallow my pride given I that I think highly of her apart from this irritating habit. I've tried talking to her about this but she never acknowledges that she did anything and says that maybe she does this subconsciously. My question today is that should I give this any more importance or just neglect this? I understand how this bothers you. It would bother me if my hubby checks out other women. I've never caught him do that, which I really appreciate. I also don't check out other guys, because I don't want him to check out other girls. The Golden Rule is awesome. You might want to ask her if she has any problem with you checking other women out? If not, why?
Just a Guy Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 Hi Husband2015, Guess you do have a problem considering you are newly married. Your wife should be fully focussed on you at this stage. She shouldn't be giving the glad eye to other guys. In fact that's how some affairs start off. If she has not given you a satisfactory answer to your pointing out her proclivity for returning the interest other guys show her then you do have a problem to my mind. I want to ask you if you are aware of her history before she met you? Did she go through a number of boyfriends? Was she a prolific flirt? Answers to these questions may provide you with a better picture about her. If your gut is warning you take it seriously. Best wishes and Merry Christmas!
hippychick3 Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 I would be concerned regarding the naughty little grin on her face when being checked out. It's one thing to be checked out and another thing to encourage it. I admit I did the naughty little grin to many a men at coffee shops in the last few years of a terrible marriage. I was not getting what I needed from my marriage and was not in love with my ex, so these little encounters were filling a need. I never, ever acted on it and was not unfaithful, but it signified a deeper problem in my relationship. Fast forward to now...I am happy and mostly satisfied in my relationship and never return a man's look with a naughty little grin. When I notice anyone checking me out, I turn the other way. There's no void to fill anymore.
Madame_Noire Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Hi Husband2015 I can see why you feel disrespected, especially if she is doing it in front of you. Maybe she has low self esteem and is flattered that someone else is giving her the eye. Maybe she has felt unattractive before being with you, maybe when she was in her late teens and twenties. Maybe she needs a confidence boost because she is now off the shelf. I can see why other posters are saying you should be flattered because she is coming home with you. There is nothing wrong with looking and 'window shopping' but her encouraging him and grinning like a Cheshire cat is not on. We all look, we are all human. I look and think 'Oh he's good looking' but I don't want to hook up with him or anything. I then think about my OH and think he is very ATTRACTIVE if that makes sense.
BettyDraper Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I will admit that I feel flattered when an attractive man flirts with me. However, I don't grin and preen because that is not appropriate. I can see why you would be upset. Maybe you can talk to your wife about your feelings and see what her issues are.
11012015 Posted December 31, 2015 Posted December 31, 2015 Hi all: I just got married and I've known my wife for 2 years and we're very happy with each other. My only issue is that she still gets excited when a guy notices her and in case he is eyeing her, her mind is almost always in that place. For example, we were at Starbucks the other day and I was in line to get the coffee. She took a seat, and a guy started checking her out. Looking at her from a distance, I could see her checking him out as well with a slight/ naughty grin on her face. I feel a little disrespected but I swallow my pride given I that I think highly of her apart from this irritating habit. I've tried talking to her about this but she never acknowledges that she did anything and says that maybe she does this subconsciously. My question today is that should I give this any more importance or just neglect this? I highly recommend that you google the term "attention whore." This is going to be a serious problem for you.
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