Omg omg omg I'm going to be engaged soon!

[minniemouse25]

OK you probably saw my posts from before, read "ruined proposal"if want to get background to much to rewrite lol

 

I just accidently found out more news! OK so my gift is under the tree and it's just one thing and I thought it was kuerig been ubeer tree snice yesterday. My bf says it's not it could be anything could be a box inside a box. Today I was just talking to my mother and we got talking about how my bf ring shopping and she like "hope he let's me know when blah blah blah"...so im like "yeah I'll make sure he does"...I then tell him I'm texting my mom and she says to let her in on the surprise. ..bf says "I don't need to tell anyone.he kinda changes subject". So I'm said to myself "OK I'll stop nagging now at least he know my mom would be hurt". My bf goes into shower..his phone keeps going off. I'm like wth?.. (not thinking it's my mom)...it's my mom saying "lol just tell her you will tell us when your ready" "oh by the way thanks for heads up before"....I never said anything to anyone! I'm playing along but my parents know omg! So must be soon if not Christmas. .

 

Lol it even fisher now cause my mother texts after messaging him saying maybe he propose January or on your anniversary don'the expect it christmas..he alwats said not Christmas anyways and how he should take video! And just kept going I'm like thinking jeez this is obvious now

 

Hope if it is Christmas I will be as surprised

 

What you guys think? Will be Christmas?

Edited December 23, 2015 by minniemouse25

[almond]

I think you sound obsessed and you should stop going through your partner's phone.

 

 

Congratulations though - I hope it's everything you ever dreamed it would be, and that after it's done you can finally chill out a bit.

[minniemouse25]

I never went through the phone, it was going off like crazy so all I did was hit the button on the side and it was my mom so I could see part of the messages she was sending.

 

Thank you I'm so excited

[d0nnivain]

Try to calm down. I know it's hard but pull yourself together. He needs / wants the surprise.

 

The Christmas before DH proposed his car mechanic of all people spilled the beans. I went to pick up his car for the the 1st time & the mechanic said "I guess it will be OK since you are his finance." I was dumb struck & the mechanic realized what he'd said. He felt so bad & told me to forget he said anything.

 

Christmas came & went but no ring. I wasn't too upset because then BF & I were leaving on a cruise a few days later & anybody who knows me knows that I would not have liked the cliched Christmas proposal but would prefer something in the tropics which is what happened.

 

But I will share that the anticipation almost killed me.

 

From now until it happens, practice calm breathing techniques & wear waterproof mascara.

[minniemouse25]

Is it normal to feel super anxious lol? I'm so nauseous ever since found out it is probably happening soon

 

I'm feeling excited, anxious,happy and scared. .I'm scared mostly because I know in couple years we will be trying for a baby and I'm terrified of pregnancy and birth(read to many horror/death stories online ) but I know it's something I really want and I got to go through with everything or else I'll be more depressed. I had been seeing therapist but got new job so hours don't work.

I'm praying I can conquer this fear! It my biggest wish/goal I'm life . SO I think the nauseous part is mix of emotions.

 

Did anyone feel this way when they were engaged?

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Did anyone feel this way when they were engaged?

 

Never been engaged, fondly envious of you,

I'd also like to give you a pre-'congratulations' too!

I would throw caution to the wind, don't let your expectations soar,

For he could just be giving you a nice gift that your parents adore..

[minniemouse25]

Thank you!

 

I know trying not to get hopes up. But it's fishy I was texting my mom about possible ring soon and she was saying to tell my bf to let her know before he proposed. Then all of sudden few mind later his phone goes off with those texts. So obvious my mom knows when

[d0nnivain]

Did anyone feel this way when they were engaged?

 

One step at a time, hon. One step at a time. Let's get through Christmas. Then you can spend 2 years SAVING & wedding planning. I'm warning you now, being married is fantastic. Wedding planning sucks & is disgustingly expensive.

 

 

After you have been married for at least a year and gotten used to being a couple, then & only then should you start talking about having kids. You have to learn to function as a team to be successful as parents & it's harder then you think.

 

 

For now, BREATHE!

[minniemouse25]

Oh yeah I know, we been together 7 years so I know marriage is apparently different some how but I made my boyfriend promise that we won'the be statistics. I know some of my married friends says feels like your trapped but told my boyfriend he can still hang with his buddies and do his car thing.

As for kid thing everyone is badgering us about kids but made sure everyone knows including my boyfriend no trying until we are married for at least year and we got our house a settled and know for sure we can handle the bigger things in life. I have no doubt but kids not something you just right into doing

[CarrieT]

I made my boyfriend promise that we won'the be statistics.

What exactly does that mean?!?!

 

I know some of my married friends says feels like your trapped but told my boyfriend he can still hang with his buddies and do his car thing.

I don't want to belittle you, but that feeling of entrapment is not because a partner can't hang with buddies. It comes from having an unhealthy relationship and that occurs whether or not there is a marriage certificate. It means that if there are *any* difficulties in the relationship, a person doesn't feel as though they can address them with their partner. If those types of feelings exist, there should be no engagement, let alone a marriage.

 

As for kid thing everyone is badgering us about kids

Who cares? You can easily shut them down with the statement, "It is none of your concern." Not everyone wants children after all...

 

I'm with the others; I think you are putting so much emphasis on getting engaged, you aren't looking at the big picture.

[d0nnivain]

Oh yeah I know, we been together 7 years so I know marriage is apparently different some how but I made my boyfriend promise that we won'the be statistics. I know some of my married friends says feels like your trapped but told my boyfriend he can still hang with his buddies and do his car thing.

As for kid thing everyone is badgering us about kids but made sure everyone knows including my boyfriend no trying until we are married for at least year and we got our house a settled and know for sure we can handle the bigger things in life. I have no doubt but kids not something you just right into doing

 

 

Doesn't matter that you have been together 7 years. I'm probably closer to your mom's age then yours. I was with an EX for over 10 years. When DH & I got married the reality of the commitment we made was sobering. I can't articulate it but it's powerful & the length of time you were dating doesn't make it easier. When you are dating you can just break up. When you are married you have to get divorced. The government where you live now has to get involved to untangle your romantic coupling & it's expensive.

 

 

It's fine to be excited & in the moment of this new phase of your life but marriage is serious business & hard work. Having kids is a LIFETIME commitment. The excitement fades & you are left with the domestic stuff: socks on the floor, division of chores, how to budget, whose family to visit for the holidays etc. It's not all fun & games.

 

 

Yes, wedding planning is essentially planning a big expensive party but the important parts of your marriage come later.

 

 

Do get swept up in the excitement but don't lose sight of what's truly important: the commitment not the wedding.

 

 

Enjoy this period in your life. Hopefully it will only happen once but that takes maturity, flexibility, communication, understanding & commitment.

[understand50]

minniemouse25,

 

Congratulations.

 

Remember to have fun with your husband.

 

Remember, when things get though, why you married him. Keep the love you feel close.

 

Marriage is not as hard as some make it, just talk things out and communicate.

 

Lastly, good luck, and best wishes to you and yours.

[stillafool]

Have you told your real friends yet?

[minniemouse25]

Thanks everyone for the advice.I Appreciate it

 

I know marriage is hard and obviously it takes a lot to build strong marriage. I believe my boyfriend and I can be that long lasting couple although who knows for sure right, things may change. I am going to take that leap of faith and pray that we last forever

 

Yes couple of my friends know that I know it may happen soon I just don't know exactly when

[d0nnivain]

Yes couple of my friends know that I know it may happen soon I just don't know exactly when

 

 

Ugh.

 

 

Learn to hush. Stop telling people about something that hasn't happened yet. Blabbing to us here on LS is great because really who can we tell? But keep your mouth shut IRL. You are ruining his surprise. Is that a way to start a marriage?

 

 

Really I know you are bursting. I blew up a different anonymous OL message board when I was waiting but I never said a word to anyone IRL. I will go to my grave letting DH think he surprised me. Give your guy the same joy of the planning.

[minniemouse25]

I told couple my work friends but they do not know my boyfriend. My best friend knew about month ago I knew my boyfriend ring shopping but that's it. No one else knows I'm waiting to tell everyone else when it happens.

[CarrieT]

I'm curious, OP - did it happen?

[gaius]

It did. She made another thread about it.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/563278-i-right-i-m-engaged