Do women always know when a guy has a crush on her?

[Prancer]

Can women always tell when a guy has a crush on her even if he never tells her how he feels and never asks her out and never pursues her? Are women mostly better at reading what a man thinks and feels than men are at reading women?

 

I've had a crush on a work colleague for the last 16 months. No this is not the one with the boyfriend who offered to buy me lunch. I have no interest in her. I have a different work colleague on my mind. I don't know if she is aware of my crush on her. If she isn't then I would like to keep it that way. I haven't told anyone about my crush either.

[Tayla]

"always"?. no.

 

You seem okay with this secret crush. Just keep it mild.

[Imported]

Did you bake her a cake?

[bluefeather]

No. Do you think they are psychic?

[Prancer]

Not psychic but people do have intuition.

 

I didn't bake her anything. If anything I am careful to watch my actions and make sure I treat her the same as everyone else. As long as I do that then she can't have good reason to suspect my motives. Sometimes I can't help but be extra helpful to her on the job. So the solution to that temptation is to make sure I am extra helpful to everyone else. This way if somebody wants to use something against me in a court case or something they can't rightfully say that I gave her special treatment because I was helpful to the whole team and not just her.

[SwordofFlame]

This is interesting as women are generally better at reading hints than men are. I also have a crush on someone at work...

[Prancer]

The thing is most of my actions are alike between the women I am not interested in and the women who I have a crush on. In other words I am more likely to avoid eye contact with my crush but I may sneak a glance at her for 2 seconds when her back is turned toward me. I tend to play hard to get such as declining any favors she offers to do me. When she offers me a big bag of candy and encourages me to take a handful of candy I only take one piece.

 

I make more of a point to keep contact strictly about work when interacting with my crush but I also do that with women I have no interest in. So while my behavior is the same towards the woman I like vs. the woman I don't like it is for a different reason. I make it a point to not work with her when I have other options of work partners. This way it doesn't look like I am intentionally seeking her out.

 

I think it takes alot of courage for a person to conceal their crush on someone especially for as long as I have been doing that. I think I am to be commended for my self control in not asking her out for a date. It takes courage to go through the efforts daily at work to conceal my crush and mimic the actions of someone not interested.

 

It is hard to work with her sometimes because of the crush but I just imagine how much harder it would be to work with her if we got into a relationship and then broke up. A breakup with a work colleague is at least 10 times harder than a crush.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Prancer

[Gloria25]

Can women always tell when a guy has a crush on her even if he never tells her how he feels and never asks her out and never pursues her? Are women mostly better at reading what a man thinks and feels than men are at reading women?

 

I've had a crush on a work colleague for the last 16 months. No this is not the one with the boyfriend who offered to buy me lunch. I have no interest in her. I have a different work colleague on my mind. I don't know if she is aware of my crush on her. If she isn't then I would like to keep it that way. I haven't told anyone about my crush either.

 

Whattttt?????

 

There are TWO women you've been crushing on?!?

 

Sounds like we got a two-timer on our hands here...I'm calling the cops right now!!!

[Gloria25]

Did you bake her a cake?

 

Or offer her a candy bar? I've heard that they make excellent icebreakers;)

[Prancer]

Whattttt?????

 

There are TWO women you've been crushing on?!?

 

Sounds like we got a two-timer on our hands here...I'm calling the cops right now!!!

 

No you didn't read my entire post. I said it isn't the one who offered me lunch. I said I have no interest in that one.

 

To be real honest about 3 or 4 other women have tried chatting me up and flirting ever since I developed the crush 16 months ago. I'm not into any of them and have not flirted back and haven't encouraged the chats. Maybe this was all a test from The Lord. A test for what? A test to show me if my crush is really the one I want or if I'm just lonely. So it is good other women have tried chatting me up as it has helped rule out any possibility that loneliness was influencing this crush. If I was lonely then the crush would have gone away as soon as I had other job offers from other women but that's not the case here.

 

Here's another update. My crush quit smoking 2 months ago. Yep. After 30 years of smoking she quit cold turkey and has not gone back since. Will the changes stick? That remains to be seen. The thought never crossed my mind that her smoking would be a deal-breaker. I have dated smokers before and it wasn't a big deal but I do admit I would enjoy kissing a non smoker more than a smoker. So I can't deny that her decision to quit has made her more attractive in my eyes. Who knows why she decided to quit. I just know that it did increase my attraction for her.

[Gloria25]

No you didn't read my entire post. I said it isn't the one who offered me lunch. I said I have no interest in that one.

 

To be real honest about 3 or 4 other women have tried chatting me up and flirting ever since I developed the crush 16 months ago. I'm not into any of them and have not flirted back and haven't encouraged the chats. Maybe this was all a test from The Lord. A test for what? A test to show me if my crush is really the one I want or if I'm just lonely. So it is good other women have tried chatting me up as it has helped rule out any possibility that loneliness was influencing this crush. If I was lonely then the crush would have gone away as soon as I had other job offers from other women but that's not the case here.

 

Here's another update. My crush quit smoking 2 months ago. Yep. After 30 years of smoking she quit cold turkey and has not gone back since. Will the changes stick? That remains to be seen. The thought never crossed my mind that her smoking would be a deal-breaker. I have dated smokers before and it wasn't a big deal but I do admit I would enjoy kissing a non smoker more than a smoker. So I can't deny that her decision to quit has made her more attractive in my eyes. Who knows why she decided to quit. I just know that it did increase my attraction for her.

 

Ok, so now what? Gonna give it another 16 months to make sure that you're into her and that you're not mistaking her signs of interest?

[almond]

Merry xmas Darren

[Popsicle]

The thing is most of my actions are alike between the women I am not interested in and the women who I have a crush on. In other words I am more likely to avoid eye contact with my crush but I may sneak a glance at her for 2 seconds when her back is turned toward me. I tend to play hard to get such as declining any favors she offers to do me. When she offers me a big bag of candy and encourages me to take a handful of candy I only take one piece.

 

I make more of a point to keep contact strictly about work when interacting with my crush but I also do that with women I have no interest in. So while my behavior is the same towards the woman I like vs. the woman I don't like it is for a different reason. I make it a point to not work with her when I have other options of work partners. This way it doesn't look like I am intentionally seeking her out.

 

I think it takes alot of courage for a person to conceal their crush on someone especially for as long as I have been doing that. I think I am to be commended for my self control in not asking her out for a date. It takes courage to go through the efforts daily at work to conceal my crush and mimic the actions of someone not interested.

 

It is hard to work with her sometimes because of the crush but I just imagine how much harder it would be to work with her if we got into a relationship and then broke up. A breakup with a work colleague is at least 10 times harder than a crush.

 

Based on this post, she probably does not know.

[Snakechammah]

Actually, I do know when someone has a crush on me... especially in a work setting.

 

That's because I have feelers on my head like a roach!! .... just kidding.

 

A woman's intuition is strong.. it's the body language. I've had that inkling feeling a few times before and true enough, before the end of the year, either the dude confesses himself, or his friend would tell me.

 

So yes, some girls do know...

 

But dont you want her to? What's the point of liking someone if you have no intention to be closer?

[road]

Definition of Stupid:

 

 

Have the hots for a woman, yet stand back and do nothing, leaving her for another man to come in and take her off the market.

[Prancer]

Definition of Stupid:

 

 

Have the hots for a woman, yet stand back and do nothing, leaving her for another man to come in and take her off the market.

 

No that's not stupid. I call that keeping my pride intact. By doing nothing I don't give her am opportunity to reject me. Besides I could lose the friendship I have worked hard to build all these years if I go for broke and ask her out. I'm not ready to risk losing everything.

[Prancer]

Also in the last month she appears to have taken an interest in one of my favorite subjects. I won't go into specifics for now but I get the feeling she may be using this subject as an excuse to get me talking to her more. If that is her agenda then it has been working because after-all I'm not going to hold back talking about my favorite subject if someone asks me questions about it even if it happens to be the woman I have a crush on. So it was a very clever strategy on her part to get me talking more.