czen Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Might not be the right place for this, but I was recently watching a movie, and the main character said: "When you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times." Is this true? I am a bit too young to know this for sure, I know I grew up with the whole "Oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea!" idea, but after thinking about it I was like "Well yeah, how many real friends have I made since high school? How many women have I known over the last 5 years I truly fell for?" But I was wondering what the more experienced ones amongst us think.
spiderowl Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Might not be the right place for this, but I was recently watching a movie, and the main character said: "When you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times." Is this true? I am a bit too young to know this for sure, I know I grew up with the whole "Oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea!" idea, but after thinking about it I was like "Well yeah, how many real friends have I made since high school? How many women have I known over the last 5 years I truly fell for?" But I was wondering what the more experienced ones amongst us think. I find it quite rare too, but then again in everyday life most relationships are superficial, like with colleagues or acquaintances. The few who become good friends who stay in your life are rare. 2
Buddhist Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Okay I'm mid 40's and my experience has been I only meet someone I'm attracted to about twice a decade. Of those I've only met one that I loved, and I was 39 when I met him. Yes connections are rare and shouldn't be taken for granted. It is the prerogative of the young to believe in immortality and unlimited supply. Mid life crisis are all about realising there's a limit to everything. 5
Gaeta Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Might not be the right place for this, but I was recently watching a movie, and the main character said: "When you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times." Is this true? I am a bit too young to know this for sure, I know I grew up with the whole "Oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea!" idea, but after thinking about it I was like "Well yeah, how many real friends have I made since high school? How many women have I known over the last 5 years I truly fell for?" But I was wondering what the more experienced ones amongst us think. It's the opposite with me. When I was 20 I believed we had a soul mate or one person was meant for me and if I didn't find him I would be alone forever. That's why first time I fell in love at 17 I got married. Now at 50 I know I can connect and fall in love numerous times and each time will be unique and special. There are plenty of people to connect with. You just need to expose yourself to meeting a lot of people to meet the special ones.
Author czen Posted December 23, 2015 Author Posted December 23, 2015 Actually I have a story now I think about it: My dad (in his 50s) dated quite a lot of women, but he once told me that only like four were actually really special to him. All the others were either very short-lived romances or just misguided relationships. He also told me that the one girlfriend he had in the 80s was his one true love.
TheArtist Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Just remember that while there are plenty of fish, we're not all using the same bait. I very rarely meet someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. It's happened twice and I'm in my mid-30s.
PegNosePete Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times. It doesn't matter how rare/common it is. You only need 1. 2
newmoon Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 it has held true for me, in any case. many superficial relationships and people have come and gone, and there have been very few that i have felt deep connections to/with. as someone else said.. maybe 1 person per decade? true connections (whether to a male or female) ... they don't come around often.
ScienceGal Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Dear Universe, please cut it out with the unrequited love. Sincerely, SG 1
ScienceGal Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Seriously though, I am with Pete. It only takes one. For me, I've stayed in less than ideal relationships for too long and likely missed out on meeting a potentially great partner. No regrets though, I embrace my choices and the path I'm on. I've grown and learned, all while still keeping an open heart. So, for me, I believe that connection is still out there.
insert_name Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 I split up with the girl of my dreams because I couldn't imagine that I would stay with the same person my whole life and hell, girls like that grow on trees right? No-one since has come close to what she meant to me. So for me personally I woul say the OP is 100% correct. But then it is obviously going to be different for each person, I am looking for the perfect storm of attributes in a person which is probably never going to happen given my dating options. Other people might be less picky, have more options or have a combination of both so they will have many more chances to meet a 'soul-mate'.
Glitters Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 The key is that when you get that connection , recognize it for what it is, at the right time and take action. Many people live in regret
PaperCrane Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 I can count on one hand, in my 30 years, the number of real genuine connections I've made romantically. Same goes for friendships. I have many surface level friends and whatnot, but a real connection is rare indeed.
dobielover Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 I've felt that connection many, many, many times. The problem has been with having that feeling of the connection returned. That's only happened a handful of times. But like PNP said, it only takes one.
Author czen Posted December 23, 2015 Author Posted December 23, 2015 I split up with the girl of my dreams because I couldn't imagine that I would stay with the same person my whole life and hell, girls like that grow on trees right? No-one since has come close to what she meant to me. So for me personally I woul say the OP is 100% correct. But then it is obviously going to be different for each person, I am looking for the perfect storm of attributes in a person which is probably never going to happen given my dating options. Other people might be less picky, have more options or have a combination of both so they will have many more chances to meet a 'soul-mate'. I think it's impossible to find someone that's 'perfect', there were always will be small issues. But I think when you have that connection with someone where you feel like you can talk to them about anything and they will respond in a way that is good for you, someone who shares the same goals and values as you, then that's someone worth keeping.
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