RoxStar Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Here you go... lets debate it... Low or Limited Contact V. NO CONTACT... If you are trying to move on and you know the relationship is over NC is a great option. If you are hanging on to something that might or might not still be there then limited contact is your best bet. Be forewarned that LC can make you hang on to the pain longer then you need to and it can also hinder your moving on to find the right mate. Thats my two cents. Not that its the only way or the right way but who else wants to get involved here??? Lots to say about it on the other thread so lets have it.
NTB Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 LC what in the world.......there was an option to NC how come nobody ever told me about this........i guess it really doesn't matter NC was a good choice for me..
Treasa Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 It reeeeeeeally depends. I'm one of the lucky ones who got her ex back and has kept him since. However, I don't think he really wanted to be broken up to begin with. I think he just felt stifled and didn't know how to communicate problems to me. When he last broke up with me I didn't contact him for a week, per his request, and then sent him an email. He called me, and we still occasionally hung out because we're part of a bigger group of friends. He'd start finding reasons to call me every other day, or even more frequently, and while I'd be receptive, I'd never call and never email him except to ask him certain questions (for example, I was making him a Jedi outfit for Halloween and needed to know his shoulder width). I'd be friendly and flirty, but no more so than I was with anyone else. We got back together within a month and have been great since. I can easily see him being "the one" assuming other problems don't get in the way.
outdated Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Couldn't agree more on all points Roxy. I think it's important to be objective about yourself and your relationship before you decide. At the beginning of a break up NC is best for both parties to let the dust settle. Once you've stepped back and can observe the relationship for what it really was is when you should decide whether or not to regain contact. Be realistic with yourself. Do I think this can be saved? Most can't, because most probably weren't right to begin with. Don't fool yourself. If there's no chance of reconcilliation and that is obvious, then why bother with LC. But... If the relationship was a good one and somewhere along the way just lost it's footing, then why not try LC. If the other party responds favorably (probably a little hesitant at first) then move forward cautiously. The important part of LC is that you have to have gained back enough self esteem (ala Universe) to proceed without the same problems coming back to light. If you have LC, don't expect it to be like it was before. You shouldn't want it to be. That s*** is over, but a new one can begin if that's the way both parties want it. I've done both, and both work. It really depends on the couple and the situation. It ended for a reason, so it has to restart for a reason. It can't be forced.
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Well I got your points about NC and LC but how about FC ( Full Contact).
Merin Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 NC No Contact LC Low Contact SINAEC Some I need an excuse Contact STFUC Shut the F'ck up Contact (I just called to tell you) ISOYC I'm so over you Contact (I just called to tell you) LYKNC Letting you know no Contact (when you call to tell them you're not talking to them even though they haven't talked to you) EMIOC Email is okay Contact (because I didn't actually call him/her) MAIDC My ass is drunk contact (damn it why did I call him/her when I was so sh*tfaced!)
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Merin you are great BWC - Birthday wish contact, I am doing NC but just to wish you Birthday MWC- Morning wish (No) Contact EWC - Evening wish (No) Contact GDC - Good day wish (no) Contact AYFDC - Asking you for dinner(no) Contact
Treasa Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 You know, it's kind of funny...I still practice limited contact (I have to admit, I think the term is sort of lame) when my boyfriend and I are either getting along really well or not so well. Giving someone else a little space and time apart can really make them appreciate you. I don't mean months, at least not if you're in a relationship, but sometimes I'll go out at night and not be able to take his call, or sometimes I'll keep the call really light. He totally understands the game too, and thoroughly approves, because we're both people who can become stifled really easily. Reinstituting the chase on occasion is fun.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 What the hell is the point of LC? I think your just trying to get your post count higher Rox. Give it up. NC and that's it. There's no middle man.
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue What the hell is the point of LC? I think your just trying to get your post count higher Rox. Give it up. NC and that's it. There's no middle man. Rox didn't start this concept, this concept got spawned in one of her other thread by CIOC.
Author RoxStar Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Well I got your points about NC and LC but how about FC ( Full Contact). GH - Are you trying to hijack me?? LOL... Just kidding... :lmao: :lmao:
NTB Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by Merin STFUC Shut the F'ck up Contact (I just called to tell you)
Merin Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Well I got your points about NC and LC but how about FC ( Full Contact). Right back attcha AND Rox.. My feeling is this.. you have to do whats right for you, regardless of what that is.. if it hurts to much to talk to him then yeah.. NC is probably for the best.. but on the other hand to as Treasa pointed out she kept the door open so to speak and it worked for them...
alphamale Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 I used to have NO CONTACTS and only wore glasses up til about 7 yrs ago. Now I have CONTACTS in both eyes that I wear for 30 days straight without taking out. I sleep in 'em also.
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar GH - Are you trying to hijack me?? LOL... Just kidding... :lmao: :lmao: You are having a bad day Rox, your NC thread became LC thread and your LC thread becomes FC thread. I strongly advocate FC, what's the use of having low contact and lose your dignity, why not lose it in style, do FC and lose it. Face the bullet on your chest and die like a brave person. I think FC is the only option, I don't know why people talk about NC or LC .
Author RoxStar Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I used to have NO CONTACTS and only wore glasses up til about 7 yrs ago. Now I have CONTACTS in both eyes that I wear for 30 days straight without taking out. I sleep in 'em also. ALPHA.... LASICK DUDE LASICK! Merin you are too funny with all your contacts... AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE... I dont believe in contact unless its full sexual contact or NC in a break up.
Merin Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar ALPHA.... LASICK DUDE LASICK! Merin you are too funny with all your contacts... AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE... I dont believe in contact unless its full sexual contact or NC in a break up. Yay and a hell yeah for full on sexual contact!
Treasa Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 You forgot: OIDMTCYIWTTCSER - Ooops, I didn't mean to contact you, I was trying to call someone else, REALLY!! And yes, I have been guilty of that one in my very distant past.
Merin Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa You forgot: OIDMTTCYIWTTCSER - Ooops I didn't mean to to contact you, I was trying to call someone else, really Did I call you? Oh sh*t! For real? WELL now that we're talkin... how you doin?
Author RoxStar Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 Let us all not forgot something I am sure we have all done... DDC - drunk dialing contact.
Treasa Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Did I call you? Oh sh*t! For real? WELL now that we're talkin... how you doin? OMG, I'm gonna get in trouble. My coworker just asked me why I keep laughing.
blind_otter Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 No offense or anything but I think LC is a big crock. Of course I don't advocate getting back together with an ex in pretty much all cricumstances (of course there are exceptions). But personally I think, after my own experiences, that usually returning to an exlover like a dog returns to its own vomit is usually not the best course of action. It's seriously like picking a frikkin scab. Sure, it will eventually heal. And leave a big effing scar across your heart for the rest of your life. NC worked so well for me. At first I was super sad, but then it was like I could finally breathe. I always tried to practice some form of NC or another post-breakups and I never realized that there was a real need for it, I just did it instinctually. I'd like to believe that after a protracted separation, limited contact could work. But I just can't.
Merin Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar Let us all not forgot something I am sure we have all done... DDC - drunk dialing contact. I took the phone with the breathalizer option... yo sh*t is to drunk to call, so it automatically calls my Best Friend instead and she comes to pick my drunk ass up... suuurreeeee it costs a little more, but can ya put a price on Dignity?
Fallen_Angel Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I used to have NO CONTACTS and only wore glasses up til about 7 yrs ago. Now I have CONTACTS in both eyes that I wear for 30 days straight without taking out. I sleep in 'em also. :lmao: :lmao: I am going to miss reading these threads at work!! (I start a new job on Monday.) I wore NO CONTACTs myself up until 10th grade. I think my CONTACTs made me more attractive to guys in the first place. Wait, not more attractive...make that not repulsive. I like the idea of sexual contact! Haha. Of course there's sexual contact with the ex...or sexual contact with someone new (ie. someone totally new or someone you knew but didn't have such contact with previously...) Damn! Stupid ex. The fool doesn't know what he's missing.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter No offense or anything but I think LC is a big crock. Of course I don't advocate getting back together with an ex in pretty much all cricumstances (of course there are exceptions). If you agree there are exceptions then you can not say LC is a crock as you'd be contradicting yourself. But personally I think, after my own experiences, that usually returning to an exlover like a dog returns to its own vomit is usually not the best course of action. It's seriously like picking a frikkin scab. Sure, it will eventually heal. And leave a big effing scar across your heart for the rest of your life. LC is not for someone you KNOW is bad for you. LC should only be used in instances where you both think you are right for each other but there's some underlying issues that need to be resolved. Nothing overly complicated. If you know someone is bad for you and you just want to get over then, NC is the only option. Period. NC worked so well for me. At first I was super sad, but then it was like I could finally breathe. I always tried to practice some form of NC or another post-breakups and I never realized that there was a real need for it, I just did it instinctually. I'd like to believe that after a protracted separation, limited contact could work. But I just can't. I think if you're trying to make a clean break, then don't ever get back in touch with them. Notmakingsense's post is a good example of what can happen when you implement NC incorrectly. Heck, even the NC Guide V4 tells you that NC doesn't really mean NC all the time. If you're begging or pleading to have them back you'll just force them away. You use LC when YOU are the problem and need to make a change. You first have to realize you have a problem, identify what the problem is, correct your behavior and then slowly work your way back into the ex's life (via Universe's thread on getting back with your ex). You basically have to start from scratch in order to have any chance of changing their opinion of you. Again, there are times for NC and times for LC. It's having the wisdom and sense to know which one is right for you that makes all the difference in the world. And for you it looks like NC was the only way to go.
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