TheLoveBelow92 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 After Nearly 6 months post break up of my relationship, although I feel like a broken record on this board that never seems to be fixed, coming to terms with things at such a late stage and breaking down my journey from then to now has put things in a new perspective for me. I have got to the stage where I realized I have nothing to hold onto anymore and maybe something inside me kept coming to post here, as I felt this was something that could keep me somewhat attached to something that once was, but has long since been over. This really slowed down recovery for me and I realized I only set myself back for doing this. After meeting with my ex on Thursday to chat and hearing she has been seeing a guy since September 1st I came to terms ive been crying over spilled milk, something thats already done and cannot be fixed. instead of dealing with the break I held onto everything and anything I could believing she still cared as much as me but wanted to see me change. I filled my time with thinking she cared and waiting for the day to hear news she missed me all the while I went out kept busy and filled my spare time with drugs and alcohol ignoring my problems which could be a reason im still here now. I held on because I didnt want to be alone again because I knew how unhappy I was before we met and during the relationship we went up the ladder in life so much only to fall back down to the bottom rung all alone once more. Its hard to pick yourself up when everything has been grey for so long, although there is positives in my life I cant see them for what they are like they are masked in a dull colour. You have no interest in anything and no joy in anything you do and feel like there are no answers, I was once told there is a comfort in sadness and that its like the cold, once it sinks into your bones it can be hard to shake. 1
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