Why Won't Indian Women Date Me

[Gold Pile]

I'm a White guy who has dated White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and Italian Women. I realize that Indian women are technically from Asia but I hold them out as different from the Korean and Vietnamese women I've dated. Furthermore I've had various women flirt or at least make eyes at me, but not Indian women.

 

I find that Hispanic, and Asian women are the least likely to go for me but some still have. But never an Indian woman. I've never had issues in interacting with Indian men at the store but the women come across condescending.

 

I know there are plenty of reasons not to date me, but a percentage of other women have found me attractive enough.

[hasaquestion]

I'm a White guy who has dated White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and Italian Women. I realize that Indian women are technically from Asia but I hold them out as different from the Korean and Vietnamese women I've dated. Furthermore I've had various women flirt or at least make eyes at me, but not Indian women.

 

I find that Hispanic, and Asian women are the least likely to go for me but some still have. But never an Indian woman. I've never had issues in interacting with Indian men at the store but the women come across condescending.

 

I know there are plenty of reasons not to date me, but a percentage of other women have found me attractive enough.

 

Be careful to make broad inference from your own experiences because of the sample size.

 

I'm not saying you can't be someone who does well with (insert category) of people. That definitely exists. But unless you're really slick with the ladies I dunno if you have enough data to suspect there's a reason in and of itself.

 

Why do you think there might be a disparity in what women from the Indian subcontinent find appealing and, say, women who grew up in white America?

[Gold Pile]

Be careful to make broad inference from your own experiences because of the sample size.

 

I'm not saying you can't be someone who does well with (insert category) of people. That definitely exists. But unless you're really slick with the ladies I dunno if you have enough data to suspect there's a reason in and of itself.

 

Why do you think there might be a disparity in what women from the Indian subcontinent find appealing and, say, women who grew up in white America?

Thank You for trying to walk me through it. Sample size is of course limited as even a guy like me can only date so many. I run Indian women every now and then and that's not likely to change much. But over the years they stand out as the group that isn't going to date me. I really don't know why, perhaps they're resentful of once being colonized by "my people". But that's just speculation

[smackie9]

I live in Surrey BC which is heavily populated by South Asians, and a lot of them still practice having arranged marriages. They are very deep into their customs and religions. They are also are very protective of their values, and a lot of the grandparents are from the old country where they don't accept mixed marriages. Women especially, have a lot of pressure put on them to marry an Indian man and not to "date" around.

[Gold Pile]

I live in Surrey BC which is heavily populated by South Asians, and a lot of them still practice having arranged marriages. They are very deep into their customs and religions. They are also are very protective of their values, and a lot of the grandparents are from the old country where they don't accept mixed marriages. Women especially, have a lot of pressure put on them to marry an Indian man and not to "date" around.

That makes sense and would explain it. In fact I've never seen a white man/ Indian woman relationship, so it must be very rare. Perhaps they'll be freer in the future.

[Timshel]

Thank You for trying to walk me through it. Sample size is of course limited as even a guy like me can only date so many. I run Indian women every now and then and that's not likely to change much. But over the years they stand out as the group that isn't going to date me. I really don't know why, perhaps they're resentful of once being colonized by "my people". But that's just speculation

 

Perhaps a general intolerance of shenanigans and exceptionally discerning taste?

[hasaquestion]

Thank You for trying to walk me through it. Sample size is of course limited as even a guy like me can only date so many. I run Indian women every now and then and that's not likely to change much. But over the years they stand out as the group that isn't going to date me. I really don't know why, perhaps they're resentful of once being colonized by "my people". But that's just speculation

 

Well I'd say there are several factors to consider.

 

1. Look at the guys who are leading men in famous Hollywood films. Look at the heroes in Bollywood movies. They look different, no? Different cultures have a different ideal of beauty. If you look more like one than the other it's natural that people from that culture would find you more appealing.

 

2. There might be a lot of working-class Indian women, like the other poster alluded to, who have cultural reasons they will not go out for drinks with a stranger. Live at home, expected to marry as a family decision, abstain, etc.

 

3. If independent professional women of Indian descent are the ones who are generally free to date as they please, are you someone who tends to attract highly educated/bigshot kinda ladies? Perhaps the segment of women personality-wise that you do best with is the one that is less available in that category.

 

We can speculate all day. Its probably noise, but that's some stuff to think about.

[Samhain]

I'd imagine it's a religion thing. The majority of Indian women, as somebody previously said, are very much expected to marry by arrangement or at least somebody of their own religion.

 

I'm not sure if anybody has ever watched An Idiot Abroad, but Karl Pilkington did his own show after that called "The Moaning Of Life" and his one episode on marriage was heavily focused on India, and the women seemed to care very much more so about the marriage aspect than the men. Completely different perspective to Westerners, and even most Asian women.

 

I'd imagine the majority may look upon your past and or values (not to say they're wrong at all!) and feel it isn't at all on the same level as their own.

[GorillaTheater]

Maybe you're too beefy.

[hasaquestion]

That makes sense and would explain it. In fact I've never seen a white man/ Indian woman relationship, so it must be very rare. Perhaps they'll be freer in the future.

 

I'm not quite white but I'm pretty much white. My ex was Indian and I've been involved with other Indian girls. I've seen it too.

 

I think what you have to understand is that there's a money/class/education dynamic there. A girl whose parents are middle class, who gets sent off to college, who is studying to become a doctor... chances are someone of that background is going to have more romantic independence. I hate talking about my ex but she can do whatever the hell she wants because she makes as much money in USD at 25 as her uncles and relatives do in India.

[smackie9]

I only know of one white man (a coworker) that did marry an Indian girl....he converted to Sikhism.

 

He showed us his wedding photo without even telling us she was Indian....we were all taken aback at him (a skinny pasty white red headed guy) in a turban, white Indian Nauru collar suit standing next to this beautiful Indian girl in her traditional red and gold wedding dress. It was impressive and shocking all at the same time lol.

 

We all gave him kudos for converting and the fact her parents were on board with their daughter's choice.....seriously that just never happens. That was like 20 years ago and I have yet to see that happen again.

 

Perhaps they will be freer in the future but not in our life time lol.

[losangelena]

I live in Surrey BC which is heavily populated by South Asians, and a lot of them still practice having arranged marriages. They are very deep into their customs and religions. They are also are very protective of their values, and a lot of the grandparents are from the old country where they don't accept mixed marriages. Women especially, have a lot of pressure put on them to marry an Indian man and not to "date" around.

 

 

I too vote for cultural differences. I have a childhood friend whose brother married an Indian woman, but her family is very conservative Christian and not as tied to traditional Indian heritage, so their religious similarities were more "important" than cultural ones. They're the only white guy/Indian woman couple I know.

[Gold Pile]

Well I'd say there are several factors to consider.

 

1. Look at the guys who are leading men in famous Hollywood films. Look at the heroes in Bollywood movies. They look different, no? Different cultures have a different ideal of beauty. If you look more like one than the other it's natural that people from that culture would find you more appealing.

 

2. There might be a lot of working-class Indian women, like the other poster alluded to, who have cultural reasons they will not go out for drinks with a stranger. Live at home, expected to marry as a family decision, abstain, etc.

 

3. If independent professional women of Indian descent are the ones who are generally free to date as they please, are you someone who tends to attract highly educated/bigshot kinda ladies? Perhaps the segment of women personality-wise that you do best with is the one that is less available in that category.

 

We can speculate all day. Its probably noise, but that's some stuff to think about.

That depends on how much they've had to drink.

[alphamale]

indian women, in general, tend to date/marry indian men. although i do know a few zebra couples where the man is white and the woman indian.

[Gold Pile]

I only know of one white man (a coworker) that did marry an Indian girl....he converted to Sikhism.

 

He showed us his wedding photo without even telling us she was Indian....we were all taken aback at him (a skinny pasty white red headed guy) in a turban, white Indian Nauru collar suit standing next to this beautiful Indian girl in her traditional red and gold wedding dress. It was impressive and shocking all at the same time lol.

 

We all gave him kudos for converting and the fact her parents were on board with their daughter's choice.....seriously that just never happens. That was like 20 years ago and I have yet to see that happen again.

 

Perhaps they will be freer in the future but not in our life time lol.

he must have been quite a site lol. I could try sporting a Nauru jacket with a stethoscope around my neck.

[Gold Pile]

indian women, in general, tend to date/marry indian men. although i do know a few zebra couples where the man is white and the woman indian.

I walked past such a couple once, as I walked by I said "now you see me, now you don't";)

[Gold Pile]

Perhaps a general intolerance of shenanigans and exceptionally discerning taste?

Hey!, I resemble that remark.

[io2iio]

Indian's have a very tightknight family and because you are an outsider being white race with about 50% divorce rate. They shun it because they believe that most white people get divorced at some point in their life.