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What can I do?

pcs13

By pcs13
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pcs13 Established Member

pcs13

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Before we ended things due to the lack of connection, he told me he felt guilty talking to another girl although they are just friends. They were set up by a mutual friend but it didn't work because that was when we met. They still talk to each other every now and then because they have a lot in common and hang out with a same group of friends.

 

Now he and I are not together anymore (but still talking and I want him back), it seems like they're getting closer and talk more than before. They even have an inside joke from what I saw from their FB comments.

 

Now she and I both know about each other because I hung out with his friends sometimes but I only talked to her a few days ago. We just clicked. She is a proper cool girl and seems like his perfect match because they have so much in common. I can't help but feel like if it wasn't because of me they would make a perfect couple. And maybe they will start dating soon now I'm not in the picture anymore.

 

The problem is I still want him back and I want to keep hanging out with this girl because she is just cool. She told me she likes talking to him but has no other intention but it's pretty obvious she really likes him romantically and I know if he likes her back, that's all it takes for them to start dating.

I know he still has feelings for me but after getting to know her he might change his mind and reject me. And it means I wouldn't be able to hang out with them both, we all are just friends now. What should I do?

 

 

tl;dr: Trying to get my ex back, fall for his new girl.

Edited by pcs13
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Posted

Whew. this is a tough one. I was going to say: stay off her social media. That will be impossible though if you and she are become real friends. I think you need to make peace with one path or another and disconnect yourself from the other path--at least until some of this is resolved.

 

I think if you want to get back with him, you should stop pursuing her friendship. Leave it for the future if the future goes that way (where you and he are no longer together). You are in for a world of hurt if you TRY to do both. Or decide that you are going to let this guy go for good and can be fine with whatever happens (this one would be really hard) and keep pursuing her friendship. Just realize this is really risky since if they got together, all that you've invested in your friendship with her might be lost anyway due to awkwardness or just the fact that they cocoon up and don't see friends as much.

 

I can't exactly remember your situation with this guy--but is it really possible to get back together with him and have it work?

 

Idk, if i was in your situation I would take space from all three (him, her and social media stalking). Sorry this is happening to you. Good luck

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
Before we ended things due to the lack of connection, he told me he felt guilty talking to another girl although they are just friends. They were set up by a mutual friend but it didn't work because that was when we met. They still talk to each other every now and then because they have a lot in common and hang out with a same group of friends.

 

Now he and I are not together anymore (but still talking and I want him back), it seems like they're getting closer and talk more than before. They even have an inside joke from what I saw from their FB comments.

 

Now she and I both know about each other because I hung out with his friends sometimes but I only talked to her a few days ago. We just clicked. She is a proper cool girl and seems like his perfect match because they have so much in common. I can't help but feel like if it wasn't because of me they would make a perfect couple. And maybe they will start dating soon now I'm not in the picture anymore.

 

The problem is I still want him back and I want to keep hanging out with this girl because she is just cool. She told me she likes talking to him but has no other intention but it's pretty obvious she really likes him romantically and I know if he likes her back, that's all it takes for them to start dating.

I know he still has feelings for me but after getting to know her he might change his mind and reject me. And it means I wouldn't be able to hang out with them both, we all are just friends now. What should I do?

 

 

tl;dr: Trying to get my ex back, fall for his new girl.

 

Let him choose who/what is right for him. And, don't be all catty and make nice with her. You are imposing yourself to sabotage. Mind your own business and move on. If he contacts you again and wants to date you in a sincere and focused way, then you can start hoping. For now, don't count on anything.

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted

I agree...you can't be becoming good friends on one level but competing for the same guy on another. You need to pick one.

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pcs13 Established Member

pcs13

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I don't meet people that I like to hang out often. I only have one best friend and I introduced her to his best friend, now they are dating and she is hanging out with that group of friends too. So even though I'm not dating my ex anymore, they still invite me to things even when he is not around because I'm her friend. Now if my ex and the other girl start dating I will not only lose that 2 people but also my best friend and that whole group of friends. She and my best friend will be in the girlfriend group and I will be so jealous I don't know how to handle it.

 

About that guy and me, we stopped dating because he couldn't give me the title but after a lot of thinking that's not what I want. I just want to be with him and honestly don't care about anything else.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I think that you & he had your chance but for him you were not Ms. Right. He has now found somebody with whom he feels more compatible. Knowing that how much do you really want to hang out with either of them, let alone both?

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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted
I think that you & he had your chance but for him you were not Ms. Right. He has now found somebody with whom he feels more compatible. Knowing that how much do you really want to hang out with either of them, let alone both?

 

I hate to say this but yes. If they get together this will kill you. Staying in the same group of friends of which he is a part of even if they don't get together is going to stunt you for sure. Right now it all sounds super risky for your psyche. The way you described it, it sounds like they are on cusp of getting together. Being with him to come back for less is a bad idea. Nope. I think the best thing you can do is remove yourself from both pathways (since neither are really viable or safe for you). Busy yourself making new friends, get super involved with your job, hobbies. Have the self-respect and dignity to walk away from this situation. It's insulting and messy. If they never end up getting together or get together but later break up, you can reignite your friendship with her and the other girl.

 

Stay off their social media. I feel so bad for you. But staying in the midst of it is not the answer. There's no easy one, I'm afraid. The healthiest and most productive one is this. Good luck

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