justanotherguy1 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Stumbled across this sight and have been reading alot. thought id ask for some help now. So after my 3 year relationship ended, reason being she said she didnt feel the same anymore. i begged and i cried but i got over it slowly. Recently she started contacting me, i never really gave in, but we talked a day and she was hinting to me about us later on and stuff. i didnt really make much of it, we talked now and then she was hot and cold in her convos. Even though she broke up with me, i thought what we had was worth giving another go because we were both mentally stable now. so i came out and i asked her. she said no. So now i feel like a bi**h now. just a shell of a man. Asked for another chance to be shut down. I'll make a post some other time on the relationship but as of right now i am a bit hurt. I made the mistake and over think this entire situation because of the signals she gave me. now im just hurt again. What do i do now?
katiegrl Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Stumbled across this sight and have been reading alot. thought id ask for some help now. So after my 3 year relationship ended, reason being she said she didnt feel the same anymore. i begged and i cried but i got over it slowly. Recently she started contacting me, i never really gave in, but we talked a day and she was hinting to me about us later on and stuff. i didnt really make much of it, we talked now and then she was hot and cold in her convos. Even though she broke up with me, i thought what we had was worth giving another go because we were both mentally stable now. so i came out and i asked her. she said no. So now i feel like a bi**h now. just a shell of a man. Asked for another chance to be shut down. I'll make a post some other time on the relationship but as of right now i am a bit hurt. I made the mistake and over think this entire situation because of the signals she gave me. now im just hurt again. What do i do now? What you do now is whatever you can to get stronger.... and promise yourself you will never ever beg and cry when broken up with again. If you don't feel strong, then you act "as if" and pretty soon thereafter you will FEEL strong. You also STOP with feeling like you a shell of a man because you were dumped. Not to be harsh, but please.... no one should have that type of power over you. No matter what, or who breaks up with whom, YOU are in the control seat with respect to how YOU will react..... and who you will allow or not allow to have control over you and your emotions. Again, NO ONE should have that type of power over you. YOU and you alone are the master of your own destiny. Good luck.... 1
Author justanotherguy1 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 Thank you so much for the reply. I don't know where my head is at right now. I thought after the time we were apart she'd really be interested in trying again. We shared so much and she was my first everything. Now I'm a mess again. I feel like crying. The evening breeze reminds me so much of her. I thought we really had something after being so close. Now life is so hard.
anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 She came to you in a moment of weakness, looking for someone who could boost her self esteem. She probably knew you would ask to get back together if she dropped enough hints. It probably made her feel good, and she didn't care how it made you feel. But you know what? That means she's not a good person. She's weak. You're above her and she doesn't deserve you. Start improving yourself right now. Immediately. Go to the gym, read a book, take a class, get a job or go after a promotion. Block her on all forms of social media. Make sure she can't stalk you just as much as you can't stalk her. Make yourself disappear from her life. Yeah you'll still think about her, and yeah you'll still be down, but not being seen at all is better than being seen struggling. You will come out of this a better man with a better woman by your side. You will soon not need approval from her or anybody because you will appreciate and love yourself.
Author justanotherguy1 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 So now I look like the fool. And feel like the fool. Was just from poor judgement. The way i was witj her its hard to think i can have that with someone else. My entire life has been a mess and she lightened it up for the time we were together. I feel so stupid now telling her if we can try again. I was expecting a yes so the disapointment really hurts as well. I prefered i did tell her tho than have it on my mind all the time. Just really thought we couldv made it work if we triwd again.
makemineamac Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Sometimes it's done. For her that's the case apparently, so move on from here and don't look back. That much-needed relief you crave and real progress is just around the corner.
mightycpa Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 There are many lessons in this experience for you. All of the following presupposes that the breakup makes you feel bad. If not, then none of this stuff below matters. First, unless and until the dumper starts talking about rekindling, that subject is ALWAYS off the table. A non-starter. When you walk away, you make it extremely difficult for the dumper to get in touch with you. Remember that fish get caught because they take the bait. Then they get eaten, or thrown back into the sea. So DO NOT respond to the probes. Hot and cold = COLD = not interested. This is a warning sign for people who have ignored the above. When you feel weak, you've got to be strong. When you feel extra weak, you've got to be extra strong. When it comes to your ex, ignore your heart. Use your head.
Author justanotherguy1 Posted December 23, 2015 Author Posted December 23, 2015 I was really good to her. We shared so much and had a lot to look forward to. I'm guessing that's what's makes it more hard. She brought up rekindling abd what not but i never really got into it because sbe didnt say much. I did get weak when we started talking again. Wish I wasn't such a fool to get back mixed up with this. I just thought she was SRS bout us talking n meeting and all that. Was just a game for her.
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