sussiekins Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Hi guys Never posted on anything like this before but this is a slightly unusual situation. There's a guy who works at the train station I pass through everyday to and from work. He's cute and always notices me when I'm there and vice versa. We've never spoken and I'm too shy to outright make eye contact and smile. Friends have told me I should just suck it up and talk to him but I usually get to know people best when I can get to know them gradually rather than being thrown in at the deep end. Anyway, I'm changing routes soon due to a new job so probably won't see him again. I want to make some kind of contact but a) I'm too shy and b) This is a slightly weird scenario so I don't know how to approach it. Has anyone experienced something similar before and/or has a creative way of maybe getting his number or giving him mine? Thanks!
smackie9 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 "Hi my name is____, I thought I'd come over and give you this (your number) Let's go out sometime". 3
GR4 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 If you're changing routes soon you'll likely never see him again so what do you have to lose by talking to him? Even if you weren't changing routes, who cares. Everything to gain, nothing to lose. 3
Xiomn Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 If you're changing routes soon you'll likely never see him again so what do you have to lose by talking to him? Even if you weren't changing routes, who cares. Everything to gain, nothing to lose. This. Report results OP, good luck. 1
Redhead14 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Hi guys Never posted on anything like this before but this is a slightly unusual situation. There's a guy who works at the train station I pass through everyday to and from work. He's cute and always notices me when I'm there and vice versa. We've never spoken and I'm too shy to outright make eye contact and smile. Friends have told me I should just suck it up and talk to him but I usually get to know people best when I can get to know them gradually rather than being thrown in at the deep end. Anyway, I'm changing routes soon due to a new job so probably won't see him again. I want to make some kind of contact but a) I'm too shy and b) This is a slightly weird scenario so I don't know how to approach it. Has anyone experienced something similar before and/or has a creative way of maybe getting his number or giving him mine? Thanks! Until you actually go out and date someone, they are all strangers . . . I am not an advocate for women approaching men generally, but take the leap. Guys do it all the time. They take the same "risk" that we would. If he says no, so be it. It can't be "personal", he doesn't know you either. It's just not to be. Write your first name and number on a slip of paper and slip it to him as you or he exits the train and let things happen as they will. If he doesn't use the number and you see him again, you just sit down like you do every other day. 2
Zippy2000 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Take a risk. I did and the people who said no helped me move on. The people who wanted to be friends and stay in touch still do. You ll never know unless you ask. Who knows. It might be a "yes". lol 2
jen1447 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Just ask. I do it all the time. Here's a clever idea - tell him exactly what you said here (which happens to be the truth) ....you're changing routes soon and probably won't see him anymore and you think he's cute so you wanted to ask him out while you still could. 4
d0nnivain Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 To paraphrase Will Rodgers, a stranger is simply a friend you haven't met yet. Go ahead & start saying hello. 2
loveflower Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 you people are so brave. but isn't it kind of embarrassing? and probably the guy won't value you much because you come easy.
Zippy2000 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 you people are so brave. but isn't it kind of embarrassing? and probably the guy won't value you much because you come easy. Well remember this phrase: "Shy kids dont get any sweeties". If you dont ask.......then you dont get. 2
jen1447 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 you people are so brave. but isn't it kind of embarrassing? and probably the guy won't value you much because you come easy. You're asking them on a date, not straight into your bed. (Unless that's what you want, and if so he might find you very valuable. ) I don't know why it'd be embarrassing, but even if it was you still have to take risks in life. If you want to be free of any chance of embarrassment or mistakes, then never ask anyone out and for that matter don't ever fall in love bc sth might go wrong. In other words, don't live. 3
Ic1 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Tuesday night, three girls. #1. She had recently come into the bar, and me and friends were leaving to hop to another soon. Went to bar to close tab while she ordered, and said "Keep you bar high on men. You're a beautiful one." She giggled, and dashed to her friends to tell them. Overheard her because I was walking by to pick up my coat. On my way out, I approach her in front of her friends and say "You're definitely above my standards. Like to see if I meet yours?" And we exchange numbers. #2. She approached me because she recognized me from somewhere I had worked at a few years ago. We chat briefly, but once again my friends are getting to the next bar and I was actually asking the bartender if my friend's card had been left. Tell her I have to go, but ask if she'd like to have a brew after work sometime. Her response "I'm sort of in a situation, but I'd be up for making a friend." I wonder, why did she come over to flirt if she's in a situation?... I give her my number, and she calls me right after to give me hers. #3. Me and guy friend are chatting about girls at 3rd bar with karaoke. He tells me the current singer is cute and she did a great job even though she didn't quite hit that HIGH note. "Nobody else in here could've gotten that close to it!" I tell him to tell her that afterwards. He's too shy to, so I tell him I'll do it and watch because it works. Go over, tap her on the shoulder and tell her just that. "THANK YOU! My name's Jess. What brings you here?" And I kinda get caught in a conversation with her, and eventually have to create excuse to leave because she went there with someone who she obviously wasn't as interested in, and I didn't want to take over a date. Guy friend tells me "touché". It's confidence. What's the worst that can happen? They thank you for the compliment and say no or give an excuse. If they trot away for your courtesy, as long as you keep your confidence, they just make themselves look horrible. 2
smackie9 Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 you people are so brave. but isn't it kind of embarrassing? and probably the guy won't value you much because you come easy. This is false. You are asking them out, not asking them for sex. Guys are very flattered that you approached them....they wish women were more like this. It's if you hop into the sac with them right away may, not always, but may lower your value to them. 1
loveflower Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 Well remember this phrase: "Shy kids dont get any sweeties". If you dont ask.......then you dont get. but...I thought my man is going to like me enough to approach me.
loveflower Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 You're asking them on a date, not straight into your bed. (Unless that's what you want, and if so he might find you very valuable. ) I don't know why it'd be embarrassing, but even if it was you still have to take risks in life. If you want to be free of any chance of embarrassment or mistakes, then never ask anyone out and for that matter don't ever fall in love bc sth might go wrong. In other words, don't live. sigh...but I am not a man. men are supposed to be aggressive and women passive. you know yin and yang. sun and moon.
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 but...I thought my man is going to like me enough to approach me. Oh good lord you live in a fantasy land. There are many that will strongly admire from afar and don't take the opportunity. It doesn't mean they don't like you that much. Stop watching chick flicks......it's all garbage.
Ic1 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 sigh...but I am not a man. men are supposed to be aggressive and women passive. you know yin and yang. sun and moon. I hope you typed that with the statement being made in a context of sarcasm that we can't decipher without a tone of voice or body language.
xcupid Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 You're not giving him any signals that encourage him to approach you. He might be shy too. Give him your name and number and let him take it from there. Good luck.
jen1447 Posted December 27, 2015 Posted December 27, 2015 men are supposed to be aggressive and women passive. you know yin and yang. sun and moon. That's not true. If you subscribe to this archaic notion of roles you're gonna run into a lot of disappointment as far as this sort of thing goes. You want to add to your margins, not shorten them, so you have to do stuff to make that happen. Like ask guys out from time to time.
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