Terrified...but I am going to give this a go

January 8, 2016

Ahhh...why did I open with "you alright? tough day"

She has been online and seen it...and has now gone offline. Goddamn it.

I wish she would just hurry up and reply so I can drop the question and get this over with.

Wait you sent her a message online popping the question? Am I reading this right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

January 8, 2016

Wait you sent her a message online popping the question? Am I reading this right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HaHa. Well that is the plan.

I had it all mapped out. I actually went in today genuinely planning to ask her...and I mean genuinely this time. For once, everything went swimmingly. She wasn't too weird. Things didn't happen. She seemed to be giving me good signals. I even mentally psyched myself as I was about to go. But she wasn't leaving. A couple of colleagues were still there...I subtly lingered pretending that I had to finish a little work...and she still wasn't leaving! So I just left.

On the way home I had planned it out. I haven't messaged her for over a week. I knew that she struggled today with work...so I would ping one message asking if she was ok. THIS HAS BEEN DONE.

I am now waiting for the reply so that I can drop the message. But she hasn't replied yet! She has been online she (I guess) has seen it. But she went offline. She is either trying to spike my interest, is busy or is trying to brush me off. Despite the positive signs today and yesterday, I think that its the latter. But I don't care.

I just want her to hurry up and then I can send it and get this over with.

January 8, 2016

HaHa. Well that is the plan.

I had it all mapped out. I actually went in today genuinely planning to ask her...and I mean genuinely this time. For once, everything went swimmingly. She wasn't too weird. Things didn't happen. I even mentally psyched myself as I was about to go. But she wasn't leaving. A couple of colleagues were still there...I subtly lingered pretending that I had to finish a little work...and she still wasn't leaving! So I just left.

On the way home I had planned it out. I haven't messaged her for over a week. I knew that she struggled today with work...so I would ping one message asking if she was ok. THIS HAS BEEN DONE.

I am now waiting for the reply so that I can drop the message. But she hasn't replied yet! She has been online she (I guess) has seen it. But she went offline. She is either trying to spike my interest, is busy or is trying to brush me off. Despite the positive signs today and yesterday, I think that its the latter. But I don't care.

I just want her to hurry up and then I can send it and get this over with.

Don't do it. That's absolutely awful. Say it to her face.

January 8, 2016

Why do you think him asking her out would be such a mistake?
-Its not like there's a friendship to endanger here.
-Its only as awkward as he makes it.
-The work situation sounds like it can only get better by him getting told no. Its not like he's introducing drama to the workplace, she can say no and put an end to drama that is there.

I'm pretty sure she's trying to get him to bugger off too, but he needs to learn not to be that annoying obsessive guy. It doesn't just happen overnight. Every guy learns it at some point he's just behind the 8-ball, that's all.

IMO getting turned down by this girl, and finding out he won't actually melt like the guy in the end of the Indiana Jones movie, can only be a good thing for him unless he handles it really badly.

They work together! He can't just walk away when it goes wrong. He has to see her.

January 8, 2016

Don't do it. That's absolutely awful. Say it to her face.

Oh my god. Are you seriously f-ing with me! Seriously, are you just trying to mess me about...because that would be really cruel.

I cant keep delaying this...and I would rather have said nothing at all than message her like I just have. Now you are asking me to just sit on a reply to a message that was supposed to lead to a "I have been meaning to ask you, do you want to grab a coffee after work on..." type of thing.

So you want all the 'not knowing' to continue. That is awful.

January 8, 2016

She is not replying because she doesn't want to encourage you and neither does she want to openly reject you because you work together and that makes it dangerous.

January 8, 2016

She is not replying because she doesn't want to encourage you and neither does she want to openly reject you because you work together and that makes it dangerous.

Well $hhhhiiiitttt...

Just ignoring me and delaying things is going to make things more awkward and uncomfortable.

For what it was worth, I was expecting the "i'm busy". To which I could ping back "no worries, maybe another time when you're free".

To me this would be a rejection. We are both clear on the situation...and we could both return to being pally-colleagues.

But leaving me hanging...after I have been unable to even ask, is going to make things so much more $hitty now.

January 8, 2016

Oh my god. Are you seriously f-ing with me! Seriously, are you just trying to mess me about...because that would be really cruel.

I cant keep delaying this...and I would rather have said nothing at all than message her like I just have. Now you are asking me to just sit on a reply to a message that was supposed to lead to a "I have been meaning to ask you, do you want to grab a coffee after work on..." type of thing.

So you want all the 'not knowing' to continue. That is awful.

You never "pop the question" in any way other than face to face. You are male, you have male genitalia, and if you want to "pop the question" you will look the other party in the eye while doing it.

She is not replying because she doesn't want to encourage you and neither does she want to openly reject you because you work together and that makes it dangerous.

I get that they work together, but its up to him, to not make her uncomfortable. Suggesting a coffee meetup for example. It isn't inherently dangerous, as long as if she says no, he shuts the hell up and respects her wishes and treats her respectfully. That's the way I'd see it at least.

January 8, 2016

he shuts the hell up and respects her wishes and treats her respectfully. That's the way I'd see it at least.

This is exactly my point. It is the lack of clarity which is awkward and uncomfortable, not the rejection.

I would happily respect her wishes if I was clear about what her wishes were and asking out is the only way of doing this.

If she truly wants to reject me and me to respect that, it would actually go a lot easier for her if she just allowed me to ask the question. Like I say, get it over with.

As I see it. My first message has just forced my own hand, particularly as she has not replied straight away. If I accept her ignoring me as an indication of her lack of interest, the working environment will be 100x worse. I will be this guy who has messaged her more than once...who she has 'blanked'. I will have to see her everyday and she will have to see me, both knowing that she disrespected me by not even replying. Worse still...the issue still will not have been resolved with clarity. This equals awkwardness.

If she replies before Monday, however late and however disinterested. At least I can ask the question and she can be clear as to her intentions and I can express my respectful acceptance. Things can return to normal.

I don't see any other way of climbing down from this.

January 8, 2016

Seriously guys. What the f do I do now?

I have to be stuck in a 6 metre by 10 metre office with this woman with a few other female colleagues for 8 hours a day now, 5 days a week. All of them gossiping about guys etc. I am the only guy (who happens to live at home with no other real avenues for meeting women or making friends at the moment...although I haven't disclosed this to them).

So I ask you. How do I move forward from the situation? How should I mentally deal with her? I should 'forget' her, how? I should deal with her disrespectful 'brush off' and lack of clarity, how?

Please guys.

January 8, 2016

Seriously guys. What the f do I do now?

I have to be stuck in a 6 metre by 10 metre office with this woman with a few other female colleagues for 8 hours a day now, 5 days a week. All of them gossiping about guys etc. I am the only guy (who happens to live at home with no other real avenues for meeting women or making friends at the moment...although I haven't disclosed this to them).

So I ask you. How do I move forward from the situation? How should I mentally deal with her? I should 'forget' her, how? I should deal with her disrespectful 'brush off' and lack of clarity, how?

Please guys.

You accept the following facts.

*She is an independent human being. Absent illegal activities it is her right to choose what is best for her.

*You are a poor match for one another romantically. Because it takes two.

*It is your responsibility to respect her wishes and keep things 100% platonic from here on out.

*The most gracious thing you can do now is help her feel comfortable at work. This means not flirting at all with her.

*The least gracious thing you can do is keep drooling over her or thinking about her that way.

*Being in the friend zone is your goal. Its not that hard is it?

*Going forward things will be as awkward as you make them or as respectful as you make them.

*You being "uncomfortable" with her presence is a bunch of electric pulses being transmitted through your central nervous system.

*It is as alive as the cord your computer is plugged to right now.

*Your self worth is not determined by what one of the 7,200,000,000 people on the planet thinks about you.

*Your self worth is determined by what you do about you.

January 8, 2016

You accept the following facts.

*She is an independent human being. Absent illegal activities it is her right to choose what is best for her.

*You are a poor match for one another romantically. Because it takes two.

*It is your responsibility to respect her wishes and keep things 100% platonic from here on out.

*The most gracious thing you can do now is help her feel comfortable at work. This means not flirting at all with her.

*The least gracious thing you can do is keep drooling over her or thinking about her that way.

*Being in the friend zone is your goal. Its not that hard is it?

*Going forward things will be as awkward as you make them or as respectful as you make them.

*You being "uncomfortable" with her presence is a bunch of electric pulses being transmitted through your central nervous system.

*It is as alive as the cord your computer is plugged to right now.

*Your self worth is not determined by what one of the 7,200,000,000 people on the planet thinks about you.

*Your self worth is determined by what you do about you.

Thank you. I guess I agree with this, but it just feels weird. There is nothing concrete. I mean what if she messages me later tonight? What if she continues to flirt at work (I can assure you that she was flirting today). A big part of me wants nothing more to do with her now...I don't want to be anywhere near her and this is more to do with the way that things have transpired (lack of respect and clarity) rather than the rejection itself.

She can be quite snipe-ey, throwing out little disses as banter. I have taken this well and bantered back...and even played along and flirted with it because I guess I thought that it might be leading somewhere. Now a big part of me just wants to say "f you! you don't get to talk to me/about me like that any more" when she does it in the future.

Could you be friends with someone that you found attractive, but didn't find you attractive?

Edited January 8, 2016 by Brapting

January 8, 2016

Sorry. Its just a bit raw at the mo.

Maybe I could focus on all the things that I dislike about her and put me off and try and cement them in my mind.

January 9, 2016

Seriously guys. What the f do I do now?

I have to be stuck in a 6 metre by 10 metre office with this woman with a few other female colleagues for 8 hours a day now, 5 days a week. All of them gossiping about guys etc. I am the only guy (who happens to live at home with no other real avenues for meeting women or making friends at the moment...although I haven't disclosed this to them).

So I ask you. How do I move forward from the situation? How should I mentally deal with her? I should 'forget' her, how? I should deal with her disrespectful 'brush off' and lack of clarity, how?

Please guys.

You knew the risks of pursuing a coworker, but you were willing to take that chance, so you have to deal with the consequences. If I recall correctly, she ignored a message from you before, so the odds were never going to be good.

As hard as it is, you have to try and hold your head high and let it go, especially at work.

The good thing here is that despite the "silent rejection", you never actually asked her out, so there may not be awkwardness from her side at all, which will help things settle down sooner.

Since you are on this dating site now, why not put it to good use and start messaging and talking to other women. It doesn't have to be serious, just a feminine distraction from your coworker. Try and focus that time and energy somewhere else.

When you are at work, be polite and professional, nothing more. Try not to analyse or read into her behavior at all, just remember that it is pointless now.

Sorry. Its just a bit raw at the mo.

I know it hurts when you feel rejected, but you thought she was probably an unsuitable match for you anyway, so try not to feel too bad about it.

Maybe I could focus on all the things that I dislike about her and put me off and try and cement them in my mind.

Focusing any energy on her, even negative, still keeps you thinking about her, which is the last thing you need. The goal should be thinking about her less.

January 9, 2016

The longer you stay a virgin and with nearly no relationship experience, the less appealing to women you'll become.

A guy with a record of physical abuse is more appealing than that to women.

Do all you can to get some action while you're not yet that old. It only gets harder later unless you're very wealthy.

January 9, 2016

When you are at work' date=' be polite and professional, nothing more.[/quote']

Thank you, although like I keep saying, my issue is more with how it transpired than the rejection itself.

I always thought that a guy would express interest, a woman would acknowledge that interest and reject the guy respectfully and allow the guy to keep some pride i.e. say that she was 'busy' or subtly emphasise the 'friendship'. Basically allow him the luxury of thinking that it is nothing to do with him and the objective realities of the situation and everything to do with her (one person's) subjective judgement. There has been none of this.

I am happy to go into work Monday with my head held high and to carry on as normal and I did this the last time that she ignored my message. I came back even more confident, upbeat and relaxed as a subtle f you!

Her response to this was to continue her forward and over-friendly behaviour, but also suggesting things like 'you have no life' in the office and taking little snipes at the little that I have revealed about my personal life. She has done this at least three times as 'banter'. Each time I responded well...I didn't rise to it and I even played along. I am not stupid, I know women will test a guys 'frame' and I interpreted it as a test afterwards.

This woman is already pretty impolite and unprofessional at work. The 'brush off'...I can deal with. Returning to the office as being as calm and as confident as ever...I can deal with.

What I will struggle with are her attempts to ram her 'frame' of what she thinks I am, my worth and my value down my throat...while inciting others in the office to agree with it. The way I have seen it, the more indifferent I have been to her 'brush off'...the more intent she has been on convincing me and my colleagues that I am a worthless loser.

Why?! Why does she need me and others in the office to know and believe her 'frame'? Why cant she just behave respectfully and accept that her judgement on me was her judgement, and nothing to do with the objective reality of me and my worth.

I guess what I am saying is that I am happy that she has rejected me, I am not so happy being subtly told (and having it advertised by her) that I am worthless and of low value just because it makes her feel more comfortable and 'correct' with the decision that she has made.

Edited January 9, 2016 by Brapting

January 12, 2016

Ahhh...why did I open with "you alright? tough day"

She has been online and seen it...and has now gone offline. Goddamn it.

I wish she would just hurry up and reply so I can drop the question and get this over with.

So if I understand things correctly, you never asked her out, you sent her, "you alright? tough day" and never heard back and have taken that as rejecting you but not clearly enough?

I think you're getting worked up over some things that you have control over. If I remember correctly, you are messaging her on a dating app and she's a coworker, correct? That's inappropriate and she's telling you this by not responding.

I don't know what you can do now, but I would stop messaging her on the dating app immediately. She has told you with her silence that she doesn't want it.

How's the vibe in the office this week?

January 19, 2016

So if I understand things correctly, you never asked her out, you sent her, "you alright? tough day" and never heard back and have taken that as rejecting you but not clearly enough?

I think you're getting worked up over some things that you have control over. If I remember correctly, you are messaging her on a dating app and she's a coworker, correct? That's inappropriate and she's telling you this by not responding.

I don't know what you can do now, but I would stop messaging her on the dating app immediately. She has told you with her silence that she doesn't want it.

How's the vibe in the office this week?

Well first off the bat. I messaged her again. Stupid I know and she ignored it again. She has mentioned in a group conversation that she is on the app, as have I. This aside, I agree 100% with you. I perhaps need to leave her alone. She is not replying and it could be making her uncomfortable and be construed as inappropriate.

I do want to say that with my final message, things had changed a big deal and I really want to emphasize this point. The rejection may have hurt a little bit at first, but after settling on the assumption that she wants me to leave her alone romantically, I basically got over it. I have been pretty active on OLD over the past couple of weeks and have been chatting to a fair few women. It has been really fun and positive and although it hasn't really led anywhere, I actually took a risk and asked one of the women for her number and she gave it to me straight out! This maybe a minor thing to most guys, but it was a huge step for me (that I only really realized afterwards) I know people will see it as minor, but I have felt much better the past couple of weeks, almost glowing. The girl at work has been away for a week and the message I sent was not asking for a response and was instead a 'I hope your're enjoying yourself...' kind of thing without expecting anything in return. After all, it feels like I have other options. Perhaps I naively thought that I could use the app like any other social media app.

She came in late again today (first day back). I was sat opposite her (as a colleague has just left the department). I was my normal happy self (perhaps a bit more than usual) she was fairly negative about her time off. I just carried on as I normally would have, not giving my message a second thought. Within the hour she said 'I cant believe...has moved departments now, I have to look at you'. I was a bit taken a back but laughed it off and carried on working. Then she emailed the departed colleague with me cc'd in saying the same thing with smiley faces and how much she missed them. I replied in good spirit jokingly saying how offended I was (with smiley faces) saying that I missed them too. She then jokingly said to the room that she has just sent the email and that she had to look at '[my] ugly face'. A couple of colleagues laughed uncomfortably, I looked round the monitor and looked at her straight in the eye and scoffed with an unimpressed raised eyebrow and then carried on working quietly. She then discussed how she thought 'every single guy' in the organisation wasn't a good enough standard.

Needless to say, I was pi$$ed off. Not because she was rejecting me or because I felt rejected. But because it was rude, unpleasant and disrespectful. It wasn't as if she even needed to 'put me off'. I dealt with it there and then and things pretty much returned to normal, but I was so repulsed by her, I was keeping things completely at arms lengths which is maybe what she was gunning for.

Despite this, she seemed to up her attention seeking behaviors. A lot of talking to me, trying to touch me, following me around and standing near to me...and even staring at me: at one point, I was concentrating, working away, I looked up and she was staring straight at me. I smiled and she nervously smiled and looked down. Later as she was talking to me, she was twirling her hair around her finger as she held my eye contact for about 20 seconds. She also said I looked like a certain cartoon character, found a picture, printed it off, wrote my name on it and pinned it to her notice board. At the end of the day, it was just me and her. We got on well and walked to our cars again. It was all very relaxed and easygoing, and she really lingered as we got to my car. But, even if all of this was flirtatious behavior, I really just want her to leave me alone now. Like I have said, I feel that emotionally and mentally, I have taken her 'cues' and moved on. My issue is now with her excessively rude and disrespectful behavior. I wonder how it would be taken if it was me behaving this way to her...or any other human being.

If it continues, I may confront her and explain that I understand how she feels towards me and I don't need or appreciate some of the comments that she is making about/to me.

Edited January 19, 2016 by Brapting

January 19, 2016

Sounds to me that she's being as nasty as possible while still maintaining a pleasant work face but sent you a clear message. So you're right to want it all to just stop.

January 19, 2016

Sounds to me that she's being as nasty as possible while still maintaining a pleasant work face but sent you a clear message. So you're right to want it all to just stop.

I don't get that at all. Doesn't she like me or something? (and I do not mean romantically). Have I upset her?

I am just stunned and a little confused that someone would be this unpleasant to another person.

Ignoring what I may have or have not done for a moment, some of the things that she is saying is pretty personal. A colleague has commented on this in another context...so it is perhaps just what she is like as a person.

I fail to see why we cant just be friendly and pleasant to each other.

January 19, 2016

God...what a day.

I am starting to reconsider quite a bit because of today. After getting in, I suggested to the group that she shadow me which she seemed to like the sound of. She kept saying I am going to shadow me and came over after about 10 mins. We started to get on with some work and she chatted and joked with me every now and then. I leant my arm across to touch her arm whilst I was laughing with her (but did not touch her). She then began touching my arm over and over again while laughing at all of my jokes (must have done it about 15 times). We started kind of side leaning into each other too. She asked me about my degree and what I wanted to do with it. I asked some questions about her. There was food in the office and she kept offering to get me some. She seemed pretty keen to flirt.

All of this is good, but I have noticed that she has quite a loud laugh and she doesn't seem incredibly socially savvy. She seems quite prone to saying things that make people uncomfortable. For example, there is an older woman in the office. She thinks she knows it all and barks orders at colleagues and talks over them/interrupts them. All of us just nod, agree and ignore her to keep the peace...after all it (and she) is not worth it. The older lady was doing her normal thing at me and I was saying 'yep, yep' (looking at my computer) and I replied with something to do with the convo as she turned and walked away. Now normally I wouldn't give two poos about this, but the girl in question started laughing and loudly said "you just completely ignored him!". I tried to joke back, but I felt pretty uncomfortable and the older lady looked pretty uncomfortable too. Worst still she kept at it, saying that I "just ignore her too"...laughing away (to the point at which I thought the older lady would snap at her). I struggled to work out what the point of this was, whether it was just social clumsiness or poo-stirring. She also made quite a few immature jokes and became quite disruptive. I like to try and keep things as professional as possible and concentrate and the whole day has thrown cold water over my attraction to her a bit.

There is quite of bit of banter from the ladies in the office towards me, but they all seem to know where the line is. The woman in question said some very odd things today...like joking to me how I looked like "a child" when I rubbed my eyes. I gave her a funny look and she joked "I mean...." (tried to justify herself).

There were some nice bits, when she was shadowing me, I leant over her to point out something and rested my arm on hers. She also looked so cute when a song came on that she liked and she was bopping along next to me while eating chocolate, but on the whole, she was a little irritating and exhausting today. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I am thinking leave it a bit to see what she is really like.

Sorry OP but you said this way back along with another post pretty much the same underneath this one.

This could have given you a bit of an idea that maybe asking her out was not a great plan unless you were totally sure she was interested.

To be fair though from the post I quoted above it sounded like you were no longer interested. Maybe that would have been the right choice?

January 19, 2016

Sorry OP but you said this way back along with another post pretty much the same underneath this one.

This could have given you a bit of an idea that maybe asking her out was not a great plan unless you were totally sure she was interested.

To be fair though from the post I quoted above it sounded like you were no longer interested. Maybe that would have been the right choice?

Probably. But my issue is now not with the rejection or my attempts to gauge her interest or pursue her.

It is the personal, unwarranted and inexplicable attacks. My previous interest aside, I don't think anyone should have to accept these 'put downs' and malicious attacks.

I am starting to think that she is just an insecure and unpleasant person and I can safely say that this has nothing to do with her rejection. Rejecting someone is fine and I am over that. Speaking to someone like they are dirt and deliberately attempting to diminish their self esteem isn't.

If she continues, I will pull her aside and confront her, like I would want to with any other colleague of either gender.

January 20, 2016

I'm sorry you are dealing with such an immature coworker. It looks like you dodged a bullet there.

It's great to hear that you are putting yourself out there and meeting other women. Did you ever call the one who gave you her number? You should give it chance and see where it goes. She might be really nice.

January 20, 2016

I'm sorry you are dealing with such an immature coworker. It looks like you dodged a bullet there.

It's great to hear that you are putting yourself out there and meeting other women. Did you ever call the one who gave you her number? You should give it chance and see where it goes. She might be really nice.

Haha. I have text the other girl but have not yet called. She seems very receptive.

I have managed to resolve the situation at work nicely

I basically messed up my work yesterday without even realising. I arrived in and my colleagues were all very solemn. As I found out about my error throughout the day, I learnt that the woman in question had had a full blown argument with a manager about it before I arrived. I was very sheepish throughout the day and the woman explained to me that he was very rude and unreasonable when they spoke (thus causing the argument). I thought nothing of it, even though she was doing some of her usual flirting and trying to get close to me again today.

Before home time. I was talking to another colleague about it and they briefly mentioned that "I know she was trying to stick up for you but blah, blah, blah". On the way home I kept thinking about it and wanted to express my genuine appreciation (whatever her intention).

So I messaged her one last time on the dating app. I said 'I will stop messaging you [showing that I understand her intentions], but just wanted to say thanks for blah, blah, blah...have a good evening'.

She actually messaged back this time saying 'its okay, I disagreed with what he was saying and how he was saying it' [implying that I shouldn't get any ideas and it wasn't a result of any feelings she has for me].

Interesting I actually got what she was saying, it didn't feel like rejection because my appreciation wasn't really coming from that 'place'. I kind of realized that she is probably just uncomfortable and scared by my behaviour and my possible intentions and I just wanted to clear the air and reassure her...so I just replied 'don't worry, I get ya. I am still grateful all the same. See you tomorrow [her name]'. I will not message her again now.

I actually feel really good about the whole thing now The air feels cleared and we can move forward being relaxed pally colleagues.

A happy ending.

Edited January 20, 2016 by Brapting

January 27, 2016

Haha. I have text the other girl but have not yet called. She seems very receptive.

I have managed to resolve the situation at work nicely

I basically messed up my work yesterday without even realising. I arrived in and my colleagues were all very solemn. As I found out about my error throughout the day, I learnt that the woman in question had had a full blown argument with a manager about it before I arrived. I was very sheepish throughout the day and the woman explained to me that he was very rude and unreasonable when they spoke (thus causing the argument). I thought nothing of it, even though she was doing some of her usual flirting and trying to get close to me again today.

Before home time. I was talking to another colleague about it and they briefly mentioned that "I know she was trying to stick up for you but blah, blah, blah". On the way home I kept thinking about it and wanted to express my genuine appreciation (whatever her intention).

So I messaged her one last time on the dating app. I said 'I will stop messaging you [showing that I understand her intentions], but just wanted to say thanks for blah, blah, blah...have a good evening'.

She actually messaged back this time saying 'its okay, I disagreed with what he was saying and how he was saying it' [implying that I shouldn't get any ideas and it wasn't a result of any feelings she has for me].

Interesting I actually got what she was saying, it didn't feel like rejection because my appreciation wasn't really coming from that 'place'. I kind of realized that she is probably just uncomfortable and scared by my behavior and my possible intentions and I just wanted to clear the air and reassure her...so I just replied 'don't worry, I get ya. I am still grateful all the same. See you tomorrow [her name]'. I will not message her again now.

I actually feel really good about the whole thing now The air feels cleared and we can move forward being relaxed pally colleagues.

A happy ending.

Does anyone have any advice about how to wipe her from my mind in 'that' way?

I thought I was doing so well to move on, but she is so loud and chatty. She now sits right opposite me. We seem to go from days where things look good, like yesterday. She basically left when I said I was going to leave and stopped us walking in the corridor so that she could 'read a poster' (although this 'seemed' very fake, like she was finding excuses to hang around alone). I walked her to the car and she seemed very receptive. I so wanted to ask her out for a coffee, but I guess a part of me is scared of messing up the working environment and making things awkward. So I went to get in my car, as I turned she called me back to say something else meaningless (felt like lingering).

Then there is today. I was all pumped up and she dropped the 'there is not much talent at work' comment again. She has done this at least 5 or 6 times now. Normally it gets a few giggles and I force a smirk. This time, no one was in the mood. She dropped it and I am sure I caught her looking at me out the corner of my eye. There was silence as she quickly went back to looking at her screen and typing away. Is this a $hit test'? Or is she genuinely trying to put me off? Either way it did knock me and all the energy and pump to flirt and ask her out was knocked out of me. By the end of the day I was very nervous and when I asked her if she was leaving, she just said "nahhh, blah, blah, blah". Her voice did wobble when she called "have a good evening".

Either way I just want her out of my head. I hate all of this and I know that asking her would put an end to it. But I don't want things to be awkward. I just want to believe that she has demonstrated a lack of interest and stop thinking that I may still have a chance. I will find a way to get over it, but does anyone have any advice?

Edited January 27, 2016 by Brapting

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Terrified...but I am going to give this a go

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