veryconfusedone Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 In the last two weeks my ex boyfriend has been popping into my head frequently and I've been missing him a lot a lately. It's making me depressed and is causing me feelings of intense loneliness. I hang out with friends but even then my ex is still in the back of my mind. On the flip-side, I think about all of the bad times with him and then I feel extremely angry and bitter towards him. But two hours later, I think about how nice and sweet he was in the beginning and I start feeling guilty and miss him again. I've even been having dreams about him as well. It's frustrating because I was finally over him and stopped missing him (or so I thought) and now the feelings have resurfaced and I'm almost back to square one now.
Heartbrokenguy80 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 In the last two weeks my ex boyfriend has been popping into my head frequently and I've been missing him a lot a lately. It's making me depressed and is causing me feelings of intense loneliness. I hang out with friends but even then my ex is still in the back of my mind. On the flip-side, I think about all of the bad times with him and then I feel extremely angry and bitter towards him. But two hours later, I think about how nice and sweet he was in the beginning and I start feeling guilty and miss him again. I've even been having dreams about him as well. It's frustrating because I was finally over him and stopped missing him (or so I thought) and now the feelings have resurfaced and I'm almost back to square one now. I also experience the same thing. When we get dumped, we miss good memories that we shared. That's why what comes to our mind are all the good memories. The bad memories are all suppressed. When you have such a thought next time try to list down all the bad things that he had done to you. Dreams are caused by us thinking of them everyday. Even now when I go out with my friends, she's still on my mind. It's like 24/7. It takes time. Hang in there.
Seth0194 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 I went through the worse break up in my life several months back. It was hard but I am in a better place, I have started dating again, taking care of myself more and rediscovering life. Now I say that cause when we broke up, the best thing for me was I had to relearn how to live, I did not do the same things we (as a couple) use to do, I changed things up, started some new things, even met some new people. The hardest part is letting go and though sometimes we think we do let go, we really do not. It sounds like thats what is happening with you. Remember the good and cherish it for what it is, memories. Learn from your relationship but you have to accept it, like truly accept it with 100% of every fiber you have.
cupcakebunny Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 It's totally normal. You miss the good times. Not even that, you miss the...inertia and routine your life had when you with him. Now there's doubt and fear and loneliness and you start to wish you could have that back. Your mind forgets the pain, anger, anxiety you felt in the relationship and after because those are detrimental to your health. So while you may objectively look back and remember certain bad events, the bad feelings associated tend to dissipate and soften. The happy memories and happy feelings you had with him, your mind remembers. It especially happens the further you get from the breakup and during no contact. Most people I've seen don't just stop caring, they grieve over those happy memories. And a small part them wants to go back to that person that created those happy memories thinking the grief will stop. It won't, it almost never does. But it takes time to fully let go for a lot of people. Just make a list of why it is better that it's over. And just remind yourself to help you get you through that pain. In time you'll notice you have less and less sad moments, and they don't last as long. Same with the anger.
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