Saying to someone nicely that you're not in the proper headspace

[McMark]

In the last week my girlfriend and I decided to break up after 5 years. We used to live together but have since been living apart for school. It was a mutual break up, we just weren't working anymore.

 

Anyway, I was at a bar chatting casually with friends and acquaintances from school, and I struck up a conversation with a girl in my class. I honestly wasnt trying to flirt, I was just trying to talk to people to get my mind off my ex girlfriend. As this girl was leaving I said to her that it was nice talking to her this evening. She asked if I had facebook (which I don't) and then was like we should chat over the holidays. I can't remember what I said, but somehow I just kinda froze up and gave her my phone number. I felt dirty about the whole thing, like I had cheated on my girlfriend even though we aren't together anymore and it's highly unlikely that we get back together. In any event, she texted me the following morning just essentially saying hello and instigating conversation. I havnt responded and I dont know how. I have absolutely zero interest in dating, hooking up, let alone talking/flirting with girls at this time.

 

The tricky thing is I don't really know what she wants. I don't want to come off as a dick and say something along the lines of 'i'm not ready to date' when I don't even know what she wants. Essentially I don't want to make any assumptions but it really doesnt matter what she wants (even just getting to know eachother) because right now I'm truly uninterested. If it was a rando I guess I would just ignore it, or say I'm not interested, but the trouble is we go to school together. I am going to see her in a few weeks and I just don't want to come off as a dick.

 

So I guess, I'm hoping to hear some suggestions for what I could say to this girl seeing as how I have no idea what her intentions are.

 

Thanks

[Scarlett.O'hara]

If you don't want to talk to her then your best bet is to just be honest. You gave out your number and now feel really bad about it. You don't feel ready to chat with other girls yet, and that you are sorry. If she is a kind person she will be understanding, if not, well that is her problem, not yours.

[whichwayisup]

Just be honest. Tell her you're not looking for a relationship or gf as you just got out of a relationship and are in no shape emotionally to give or invest in someone right now. That's not being a jerk, that's telling it as it is. If it hurts her and she gets upset/mad, so be it. You need to put yourself first for a while and take care of yourself too.

[jen1447]

If you're worried about looking like a dick, just do more honesty. Say sth like "Hey, I didn't really realize what I was doing the other night giving you my number bc I've been out of it. I'm just not in the right frame of mind to really be social w/anyone right now, sorry. Bc exGF."

 

She should get it.

[McMark]

Thank you for your replies, they have been helpful and I appreciate them.