blueowl32 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 I stalk his social media. I messaged girls on his friend list telling them he's a jerk. I commented on girls pictures (which he 'liked') saying he's a cheater. I messaged and called him often even after the relationship is over to the point that he blocks me. Do I need to get checked? Am I crazy He calls me a crazy bitch. I think I am. And the most terrible thing is I sent his nude to his exes and the girl he was hitting on behind my back. Though I regretted it immediately after and asked all the girls to delete it. Like, I really dislike myself for what I did. Please tell me exes do turn psycho some time. And it's not just me. He was my first love.
TunaCat Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) Whoa, yes OP, you need help. Badly. Goodness gracious, LEAVE THE GUY ALONE. Why would you send his nudes to someone else? That is one of the least classy things you can do. When I was dumped 9 months ago, I did NONE of these things. Edited December 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude ~T
StBreton Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) I'm sorry things didn't work out for you and your first love...it's heartbreaking:( That you responded in such an uncontrolled manner means that you are emotionally unstable. Do you need help? That's not for me to say but you must decide upon who you are (a good calm person), believe in yourself and decide that sometimes bad things happen in life and you must be authentic to who you are (remain calm in the face of calamity and chaos). In the end, you have "you" and that is upon who you can count when the chips are down. Be graceful...it shows your high level of maturity. Don't be "that" girl of which you spoke of in your post...you're better than that. The takeaway: You must know who you are (good) and maintain good character no matter what happens (even though you might cry inside for a while). Make sense? Forgive yourself this one trespass OP and move on...next time do the above instead...with a lot of deep breathing and posting to this forum so you stick with the right path. Go No Contact ASAP ... look for the guide on this forum under "NC guide" Hugs Edited December 22, 2015 by StBreton 2
Pamvhv Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Girls will feel sorry for him and like him more when they see you act like this. You're actually doing him a favor being the 'crazy' ex. You need to let go. Completely. I know it's hard. You should speak to someone about coping.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 What you are doing sounds unhealthy and obsessive. You need to stop all attempts at communication with him or anyone else he knows immediately or you will end up in serious trouble. I'm not going to say you are crazy, however, I think counselling could really help you deal with these strong emotions you are experiencing. Continuing to harass him is not ok, no matter what he has said or done. You need to focus on dealing with your issues, forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and healing from your breakup. Don't be afraid to ask for professional help. It is important to take care of yourself. 3
mightycpa Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 You don't need help. You're just weak. What you need to do is grow up a little and turn your back. I don't care if it is hard... of course it's hard. It may end up being the hardest thing you'll ever do. So think about how you'll feel if you don't do it. Grow up. Turn your back. Stop acting like an idiot. You can do it. 1
Author blueowl32 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 I'm sorry things didn't work out for you and your first love...it's heartbreaking:( That you responded in such an uncontrolled manner means that you are emotionally unstable. Do you need help? That's not for me to say but you must decide upon who you are (a good calm person), believe in yourself and decide that sometimes bad things happen in life and you must be authentic to who you are (remain calm in the face of calamity and chaos). In the end, you have "you" and that is upon who you can count when the chips are down. Be graceful...it shows your high level of maturity. Don't be "that" girl of which you spoke of in your post...you're better than that. The takeaway: You must know who you are (good) and maintain good character no matter what happens (even though you might cry inside for a while). Make sense? Forgive yourself this one trespass OP and move on...next time do the above instead...with a lot of deep breathing and posting to this forum so you stick with the right path. Go No Contact ASAP ... look for the guide on this forum under "NC guide" Hugs Thanks. I really needed this piece of advice. It means a lot.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Yes, you need help. It is clear your coping mechanisms are deeply flawed and self-destructive. But a good, qualified and experienced counselor can help you with this.
basil67 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 I stalk his social media. I messaged girls on his friend list telling them he's a jerk. I commented on girls pictures (which he 'liked') saying he's a cheater. I messaged and called him often even after the relationship is over to the point that he blocks me. Do I need to get checked? Am I crazy He calls me a crazy bitch. I think I am. And the most terrible thing is I sent his nude to his exes and the girl he was hitting on behind my back. Though I regretted it immediately after and asked all the girls to delete it. Like, I really dislike myself for what I did. Please tell me exes do turn psycho some time. And it's not just me. He was my first love. Yes, some exes do go psycho. That's why we have laws and restraining orders. I tell you, if one of my daughter's exes ever did what you did, he wouldn't know what hit him. You need help.
Author blueowl32 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 I feel really ****ty about myself.
Captivating Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Blueowl, Withdrawal is an excruciating pain. Everybody deals with it differently.The first one is the hardest since you've never experienced this before. Most people go through several breakups before they finally settle down. So, from now on, I would suggest to walk away graciously. If you get dumped again, no stalking, no "run into", no messaging, no calling and don't send naked photos of your ex NO CONTACT ! It speeds up healing and recovery. I know it's hard to get over someone, it usually takes a long time. We all go through this from time to time, you are not alone. Leave your ex alone. It will get better, you will see. 1
Hope87 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 I stalk his social media. I messaged girls on his friend list telling them he's a jerk. I commented on girls pictures (which he 'liked') saying he's a cheater. I messaged and called him often even after the relationship is over to the point that he blocks me. Do I need to get checked? Am I crazy He calls me a crazy bitch. I think I am. And the most terrible thing is I sent his nude to his exes and the girl he was hitting on behind my back. Though I regretted it immediately after and asked all the girls to delete it. Like, I really dislike myself for what I did. Please tell me exes do turn psycho some time. And it's not just me. He was my first love. Hello Blueowl, breakups can make you feel crazy. The strong and often overwhelming emotions can drive us to do the ''craziest'' things. It's best to walk away in a dignified manner but things don't always pan out this ay. I am sure you're embarrassed by your actions hence why you created this thread so I'm not going to scold you further. At this point, you need love and encouragement. Right now, you're going through the same withdrawal symptoms that heroine addicts experience. You're reacting to a strong combination of chemical reactions in your brain which have created an addiction to your ex...but be rest assured that these are simply emotions. You will not always feel this way and the strong emotions you feel will eventually wane but you must take strong measures to aid your recovery. You must cut off all forms of contact with your ex and anything remotely connected to your ex. This is the only way to overcome this ordeal. It will easily be one of the most excruciatingly painful things but it is absolutely necessary and you WILL be fine. This is your first love/heartbreak and so this must be new territory for you hence why you've perhaps not handled things in the best way. But now you're better equipped and must begin to apply the advice you receive. You are not crazy, you've simply allowed your emotions dictate to and control you and this simply makes you human. We've all done crazy things in the wake of a painful breakup, some people are built more fragilely than others hence more susceptible to impulsive and often regrettable decisions . Again, this only makes you human. But you must commence the healing process by implementing NC... and accepting that your ex is most likely not the one for you. You will find love again and this will all become a distant memory...with time. Hugs 3
Fleur de cactus Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Dont be worried you are not crazy , I don't think you need therapy. But what you did is wrong. You need to learn coping skills. You were mad , and you want to punish him by exposing him. I would call you psycho if I was him but you are not necessarily that mentally sick. Don't do thIs again because what you did was giving to your ex and the new girls proof that he did the right thing leaving you.
wow123 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Stop beating yourself up. People do crazy things when they're hurt. You can't change what happened. Just learn from it. Next time you get hurt, you'll remember how you felt after these actions, which should prevent you from doing it again. 1
changchewsoon Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Sorry to hear what you're going through, you must have felt really hurt. But by doing all these things will only give your ex a chance to paint you black, so it would be really good if you could stop reacting to the break up. And yes, what you did was wrong. If your intention was to expose him, they are many other legal ways. But the advice I am sure everyone would give you here is to take the high road and walk away. Cut him off completely from your life, you need time to heal. You mentioned he was your first love? Well good news, he was a jerk and you're now single and free to meet other better guys. Stay strong. 1
ravfour4 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 When did you two break up? As you already know, your actions are "crazy", but it's just because you're super emotional right now and are caring about him more than yourself. Every time you're about to do something fueled by emotion, take a deep breath and think "is this going to help me heal and feel better? or not?" if the answer is "not", don't do that thing, no matter what. If you're doing something to make him mad, prevent other women from liking him or get him back - you're doing it wrong. All actions are about you, be selfish. You need to stop prioritizing him and start prioritizing yourself. 1
Author blueowl32 Posted December 23, 2015 Author Posted December 23, 2015 Hello Blueowl, breakups can make you feel crazy. The strong and often overwhelming emotions can drive us to do the ''craziest'' things. It's best to walk away in a dignified manner but things don't always pan out this ay. I am sure you're embarrassed by your actions hence why you created this thread so I'm not going to scold you further. At this point, you need love and encouragement. Right now, you're going through the same withdrawal symptoms that heroine addicts experience. You're reacting to a strong combination of chemical reactions in your brain which have created an addiction to your ex...but be rest assured that these are simply emotions. You will not always feel this way and the strong emotions you feel will eventually wane but you must take strong measures to aid your recovery. You must cut off all forms of contact with your ex and anything remotely connected to your ex. This is the only way to overcome this ordeal. It will easily be one of the most excruciatingly painful things but it is absolutely necessary and you WILL be fine. This is your first love/heartbreak and so this must be new territory for you hence why you've perhaps not handled things in the best way. But now you're better equipped and must begin to apply the advice you receive. You are not crazy, you've simply allowed your emotions dictate to and control you and this simply makes you human. We've all done crazy things in the wake of a painful breakup, some people are built more fragilely than others hence more susceptible to impulsive and often regrettable decisions . Again, this only makes you human. But you must commence the healing process by implementing NC... and accepting that your ex is most likely not the one for you. You will find love again and this will all become a distant memory...with time. Hugs Thank you my friend for your compassion and telling me what to do. However, I have difficulty coming to terms with the thought that he is completely and forever out of my life. I can't seem to swallow that. what do i do?
Author blueowl32 Posted December 23, 2015 Author Posted December 23, 2015 hope87. thank you for your kind words. I can't seem to be able to cope with the thought that he is out of my life completely and indefinitely. What should I do?
lemondrop21 Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 Don't worry, you are not "crazy" in a way that can't be fixed. There's a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that helped me a lot when I was younger. I didn't used to handle breakups well before, but I do much better now (still not 100% perfect, but 90% better. No one is perfect all of the time). My guess is that there might have been something lacking in your childhood/parenting that you received, that left you with somewhat of a deficit when it comes to coping with rejection, which you are processing as abandonment. At least, this was the case with me. Some of the previous posts are a bit harsh, please don't take them to heart. You are not a bad person, just someone who is going through a rough time and needs a little help to become a better version of your already-awesome self. And even if you handle them perfectly, breakups are HARD. So give yourself a little bit of slack. Sending you hugs and best wishes. 1
MidnightDream Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 You are not a bad person. Everyone does bad things in their life, and it gives them a chance to learn from their mistakes and grow. If you ever feel like you need to do it again just think "How are the people I'm about to message going to view me after this?" or "Won't this just make things worse?". You don't necessarily need help, you can change this yourself. With you noticing what your doing isn't healthy is the first step. I would only suggest counselling (cognitive behavioral therapy is very helpful), if you truly believe you can't do it yourself. 2
luvflower Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 I agree that it's not up to us to say whether or not you need to get checked although you could use someone to help you sort through your thoughts and actions. However, I want to point out something ( in your defense)......that some posters do that is sooo not healthy, relevant or helpful. When people try making themselves sound more sane or better in anyway by comparing the OP's actions to their own, its REALLY a cry out for approval and security. Who cares what they did when they were dumped... Especially when that persons post belittles the OP... Everyone is different. And if someone indeed does need help, few of us are experts enough to compare our own reactions to a scenario. OP, be encouraged and do seek out someone to consult with. But please don't allow any poster to make you feel BAD while comparing themselves to you. Time is a healer and I'm wishing you the best in growth and healing OP. 1
Author blueowl32 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Posted December 24, 2015 Thank you luvflower. And thank you everyone for your kind and helpful advice. I find a lot of support and comfort from your comments that make going through this break-up easier. I will be coming back and re-read your comments when I overthink or am on the verge of doing more unhealthy acts.
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