Gretzky99 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I went through a breakup 5 months ago, however, I've finally gotten over it and during the past month, I've been going out on the social scene again. Last Friday I was at a Holiday Party organized by my church and it was related to camp donors and it had other people from near-bye regions who were also a part of the cause. I saw a girl whom I was very attracted to but right when I was finally ready to walk up to her and introduce myself, I couldn't find her and found out she was gone. I was very bummed about it. Today a friend of mine found her Facebook page and suggested I message her. However, I don't know if that's a good way to go about it since I've done that a few times and it's never gotten me anywhere taking that approach thru social media...... I'm conflicted with deciding to either wait until the next social outing which is in May and hoping she may be there then, or messaging her on FB. The problem I have is if I do message her on FB, I don't know what to say and even if she is receptive how I can keep the convo going to the point where I ask her on a date. The other problem is I can wait until May, and she may be there again or she may no be there and I also would be taking a chance on betting the odds she is still single by then. What are your thoughts?? Ladies, would u get creeeped out if a guy messages you on FB like in my personal situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Honestly, if I didn't know the guy I wouldn't even accept a Facebook request. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Honestly' date=' if I didn't know the guy I wouldn't even accept a Facebook request.[/quote'] Same lol But if you're really attractive in her eyes she might respond anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Facebook isn't the best way to do this. Do you guys have mutual friends?? You could approach it that way if you did and see if your common friend posts something and then she posts and then you post on it to you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gretzky99 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Share Posted December 22, 2015 Facebook isn't the best way to do this. Do you guys have mutual friends?? You could approach it that way if you did and see if your common friend posts something and then she posts and then you post on it to you Yeah, we do, 10 mutual friends, but none of which I'm particularly close to, so it would be weird if I commented on one of their posts. While I hate to read the responses advising me to avoid messaging through FB, I do agree that it's not the right way to go, unfortunately. I'm just pissed at myself for letting a beautiful opportunity slip away given that we were both there. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Send her a friend request and let her know that you had more assists than point totals of anyone else ever! But for real. In all honesty you don't know her, you just thought she was attractive. Which is fine. Stick it out in that crowd and you'll probably cross paths again. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Yeah, we do, 10 mutual friends, but none of which I'm particularly close to, so it would be weird if I commented on one of their posts. While I hate to read the responses advising me to avoid messaging through FB, I do agree that it's not the right way to go, unfortunately. I'm just pissed at myself for letting a beautiful opportunity slip away given that we were both there. You could always chance it be really honest and polite, tell the truth, you saw her wished you could talk to her missed your chance, told a friend about it and they found the fb(telling this part is good because it means you didnt stalk her out) She may find it flattering she may not. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 You run the risk of leaving a poor impression with her, not worth it. For one thing you know nothing about this girl....she could have a BF or she is dating someone. Just because someone says they are single on FB doesn't mean they are. And not everyone keeps the world updated about their personal life. It would be no different if you got her phone number from someone without her knowing and called her up.....it would be an awkward moment wouldn't it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Don't do it, she doesn't know you at all. Think about it, you're still a complete stranger to her. It's possible she'll think it's creepy and you'll ruin any chance you might have had with her in the future. Wait till you see her again so you can introduce yourself. I think the only way it could work now, is if you have some legitimate excuse to send her a message and take it from there. But I wouldn't recommend that. It's better to focus on other girls in the meantime, and if she does get a boyfriend, it just wasn't meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I don't accept Friend requests from men I have never met in person. And thus their messages would be diverted to my "Other" inbox, which doesn't notify me of new messages. So there they sit until it occurs to me to clean it out once in a blue moon. So it is risky. You could try, but I don't think it's a great idea. You have no idea if she's even single. A FB profile isn't always an accurate way to judge this either. For many reasons, I personally don't publicize my relationship online, so looking at my profile isn't a great picture into my personal life. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 here's the thing with doing that--she doesn't know who you are. If I receive friend requests from people I don't know, I delete them. I only allow people I personally know into that realm. And I never look in the "other" category where messages from people who are not my friends get delivered. Hopefully your organization will have another get together and she'll show up there. Be ready on the spot to introduce yourself... and be prepared to find out she's already got a boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) Yeah, we do, 10 mutual friends, but none of which I'm particularly close to, so it would be weird if I commented on one of their posts. While I hate to read the responses advising me to avoid messaging through FB, I do agree that it's not the right way to go, unfortunately. I'm just pissed at myself for letting a beautiful opportunity slip away given that we were both there. 1. Though you didn't get a chance to talk to her, you're "in" with this woman is the fact you can break the ice that you both were in attendance, but didn't get a chance to introduce yourself. 2. 10 mutual friends seals the deal of giving you an excuse to contact her on FB. If it's in the double digits, even more reason. lol I don't accept Friend requests from men I have never met in person. And thus their messages would be diverted to my "Other" inbox, which doesn't notify me of new messages. So there they sit until it occurs to me to clean it out once in a blue moon. Actually, if you have mutual friends, messages usually don't go to the "other" box. Though,I wouldn't send her a friends request, I would indeed just message her as a way to gauge the situation. Edited December 22, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst Link to post Share on other sites
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