TunaCat Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 So I got a Christmas card from my ex's family today. Now my family and the ex's family have known each other for nearly 20 years, so I guess I should have expected a Christmas card, but I honestly thought I wouldn't get one. I thought for sure they would think of how it would affect me to get a card from them. Clearly they didn't. In the card was a picture of my ex with the girl he started seeing 3 weeks after breaking up with me. I nearly broke down in tears when I saw the picture. I was definitely shaking, but also feeling sad, mad and everything in between. After nearly 9 months I was finally feeling like myself, but receiving this card has set me back in my healing. I just hope it won't set me back too far. I was so happy to be feeling better about all of it. Struggling tonight...
artnoveau Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Go outside and burn it. Or just put it away somewhere. Hide it and then go do something to keep your mind off that picture. Visuals always trigger memories and fantasies. So stop looking. I know it isn't easy. Just brush it aside for now and deal with it later. You have made progress in the last nine months and one picture will not destroy it. Its painful, but you will deal with it and soon you will be back to that point you were in before that picture came. You are strong!
Omei Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Wow what kind of people are they? Who the **** does that yes burn it and give no response or thank you act like you didn't see it, freaking heartless that pisses me off how cruel.
BC1980 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Wow. I think that's pretty bad to send a card with your ex's new girlfriend. Highly insensitive. I can see if it was just a card from his parents but not with their son's girlfriend. I honestly think some people don't get it. Two years ago, my ex sent me a Christmas card with him and his son, and it was so painful to see that. I had been on the Christmas card the year before. I told him never to send anything like that again and started NC that day. A year ago, my dad saw my ex, and the ex said he would have kept sending Christmas cards to them, but I told him not to. It would have been a card with his new wife. Awful and so insensitive.
LydiaLong Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 It does seem very insensitive for them to have done that. The first year I was married, my husband's ex mother-in-law sent us a card with both our names. I thought that was very sweet, but I would have been shocked had she included a picture of the ex wife and her boyfriend. Also, I wish people would stop beginning paragraphs with "So." Just a little pet peeve.
BC1980 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 I thought for sure they would think of how it would affect me to get a card from them. Clearly they didn't. In the card was a picture of my ex with the girl he started seeing 3 weeks after breaking up with me. After nearly 9 months I was finally feeling like myself, but receiving this card has set me back in my healing. I just hope it won't set me back too far. I was so happy to be feeling better about all of it. They probably wouldn't have realized how hurt you have been. However, I still think it's insensitive. I'd think it would be pretty obvious not to send you a card with their son and his new girlfriend on it. That seems like common sense to me. Maybe they thought it would be awkward not to send a card at all? I dunno. This won't set you back too far. You've been doing great. I found out my ex was engaged after 1 year NC, and it turned out to be a blip on my recovery radar.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 I'm so sorry that happened. It must have felt like a huge slap in the face. If you want to make a point, you could return to sender to make sure they know not to do it again next year. I hope you are feeling better today.
Author TunaCat Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 I am doing better today. It was like a punch to the gut last night, but I'm honestly okay. I do think in some ways it would have been weirder NOT to get a card from them, mostly because like I said, we've been exchanging cards for nearly 20 years. They don't just throw pics of their "kids" with their significant others in the card, the pictures of the "kids" with their significant others are printed ONTO the cards. So there was no way to just get a card WITHOUT the pictures. He probably didn't even know his mom sent me a card. I took the high road though. I mailed his family a Christmas card this morning. In my heart, this felt like the right thing to do.
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